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Wednesday, December 24, 2014



I think I’ve seen it all. 

I just witnessed a commercial for “The Clapper.”  The Clapper is that attachment to TV’s and lights that will turn them on or off when you clap your hands.  What with verbal commands, and wireless remote controls I am surprised that this gimmick still sells.  Hell, people can turn off their lights with their cell phone from a thousand miles away.


The star of this commercial is the World Record Holder for times hand clapped in a minute. 
They claim he can clap his hands 765 times a minute.  He doesn’t really clap his hands; he kind of slaps them with a funky slip slidey kinda of motion.  Slap, clap, what is the difference?  What I can’t believe is:

1.  There is a world record for claps in one minute. 

2.  That anyone would aspire to hold that record. 

3.  Anyone would actually attempt to count and validate his clap number.

4. Anyone would know about this guy.


5.  This clown could actually turn this “talent?” into an opportunity to make money.

I have never had an urge to buy “The Clapper.”  It is a stupid product.  It is one of those things that only sells at 11:00 pm on December 24th at a CVS drug store and is sure to make someone’s grandparent very happy.

“Hmmm, what would grandpa most want this Christmas, 'The Clapper,' or a ‘Chia Pet?’  I guess you can only have so many Chia Pets so I’ll get him ‘The Clapper’ besides it is endorsed by the world’s fastest clapper so…”

If my children or grandchildren are reading this, please don’t get me ‘The Clapper’ no matter who endorses it.  There must be something better you could buy me. 

I think there is a "Duck Dynasty Uncle Si Chia Pet" this year.


  1. Did they airbrush out the big "L" on his forehead? That was mean...sorry. It's just my jealousy talking, as he beat me out for the record and the spokesman gig. With a $1 royalty per clapper, that means I lost out on $9. :(

  2. Saw only one clapper ad this season and two chia ads. And that because I walked through the room while my sister was watching an old movie.

  3. I could do without those walk-in tub commercials.
    What I wanna know is, "What if you have to get out of one in a hurry?"
    How long does it take to drain?

  4. I didn't know these things were still around. I don't want one either. Ever.

    Have a terrific day and a very Merry Christmas. ☺

  5. I'm holding out for my Cranky Old Man Chia Pet. I hope you and Mrs. Cranky have a marvelous Christmas. Take care.

  6. I was thinking recently about buying myself a Chia Pet but SWMBO said I'd forget to water it. I said "you have to water it?"

  7. Merry Christmas, Joe!!

  8. My son Genius begged for a Clapper when he was 8. I got him one for Christmas. He installed it in the basement, at the end of the couch, and proceeded to sleep down there for three years. All this time, his dadgummed Clapper would NOT work with my claps. He had it hooked up to a table lamp. One night I was ready to go to bed, and couldn't get my claps to work, and couldn't turn off the table lamp because it had no switch. But I could get to where it plugged into the Clapper.

    It was pitiful, hearing that boy clapping fruitlessly the next morning. "Mom. My Clapper is broken. I clapped and clapped, but it wouldn't come on." He was so sad. I had to confess. Then I told him I knew the title of his eventual autobiography: Clapping In the Dark. We still joke about it.

    Knock the Clapper if you must, but it DOES have its fans. I, however, am not one of them.

  9. Reminds me of those key chain attachments for people who always lose their keys. Just clap your hand and the key chain beeps. Keep clapping and following the beeps until you locate your keys. I don't know anyone who ever bought one of those.

  10. The clapper??? Ugh. I'd rather have those Blu-Blocker sunglasses! Or the knives that cut cement blocks into slices so thin you can see through them!

  11. I asked Jim the other day how in the world did they count this guys claps. Just so bizarre. Merry Christmas Cranky!!

  12. I actually wanted to buy a chia pet for my son's girlfriend's daughter, I thought it would be fun for her to see it growing, LOL. Instead, I got her something from Frozen. I think its commercials like for the Clapper with the fastest clapper that makes me not watch TV; too much weirdness out there on it.

    Merry Christmas!


  13. • ★ Merry ★* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
    •。★ Christmas 。* 。
    ° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
    ˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~\。˚ ˚ ˛
    ˚ ˛ •˛• ˚| 田田 |門| ˚And a Happy New Year
    * Joy to all! ♫•*¨* Peace on Earth ♪♫•*¨*

  14. Merry Christmas. I hope you and you're family have a great day.

  15. It seems I am the only member of the Cranky community who has secretly always wanted the clapper...

  16. That clapping guy needs a new hobby. Happy Christmas! xx

  17. Myself I've always tried to avoid the clap....

  18. I think they should invent one that flushes the toilet for you... The Crapper Clapper.

    Hope you had a wonderful Christmas.

  19. I need the Clapper for my phone and TV remote. Although I guess I could call the phone and listen for the ring, so maybe I only need one.
    There's a Willie Robertson Chia pet, as well as Uncle Si. Love the Ducks!!