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Sunday, July 9, 2017

STUPID HEADLINES 070917

STUPID HEADLINES 070917
It’s time again for
That is a problem!
 STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments. 
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Almost two tons of weed disguised as lettuce seized in Texas – This is why I always fire up my iceberg before adding dressing.
CHRIS CHRISTIE CAUGHT SUNBATHING AFTER CLOSING ALL STATE BEACHES OVER JULY FOURTH WEEKEND – Just a wild guess, but I expect the Governor isn’t planning to run for office any time soon.
Man says he doesn't recall killing wife in Uber car – “I don’t think I killed her…I might have…I just don’t recall!”
PETA Blasted as ‘Sexist’ for Using Bikini-Clad Models to Serve Dairy-Free Treats – OMG people, just stop it!
Penis-shaped rock formation back up in Norway – If it stays up for more than four hours they should call a geologist.
Poll Shows More Americans Trust the White House Than the Media – Poll also shows that no one trusts polls!
Moose Chases Golfer on Swedish Course – I checked the rule book, he gets a free drop up to 375 club lengths from any animal over 6 feet tall, but no closer to the hole.
12-year-old gets stuck inside foldout couch, calls 911 for help – When rescued do you yell All-I, All-I out free, or Ollie, Ollie out free?
CVS is hiding candy from consumers – First they stop selling tobacco, now they hide the candy…if they get any healthier, they won’t be able to sell drugs.
Will new gender-neutral licenses fly with TSA? – Not judging, but I find this to be very confusing…when did this become a thing?
Colorado woman's 83-foot belly-flop goes wrong – Is there any way this could have gone anything but wrong?
The Feel-Good News story of the week:
FLIGHT ATTENDANT WRITES ONE SIMPLE NOTE, SAVES THE LIFE OF TEENAGE GIRL…
Bad news that this shit exists, good news people are stopping it.
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Come back again next week for more
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!

13 comments:

  1. Stupid headlines are my Sunday morning ritual now.

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  2. I agree with you Bad news is that we have stuff like this going on, and it's always good to find a person like the flight attendant.

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  3. Bless her. Thank goodness she took action.

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  4. I hope there are no threats against the meeting to discuss the threats against the meeting to discuss the threats. This could get complicated really fast.

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  5. The threat of Stupid Headlines doesn't stop me from reading but, I am more cautious.

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  6. The media is pretty good at stupid everything of late. Very entertaining for the most part.

    I linked this post to Silly Sunday as always.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. ☺

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  7. Thank heaven for that flight attendant!!

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  8. I wonder how one disguises pot as lettuce. Just curious is all.

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  9. With you on polls. That flight attendant shows what happens when we really look at people. Thank God she did. Can't believe the guy was pulling it off in public like that. Shudder.

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  10. Trust me, i am not worrying about the drug stores going out of business!

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  11. Heh, heh. My 13-year-old self loved the 4-hour penis.

    I once had a hamster get trapped inside a fold-out couch. I did not call 9-1-1. A roommate's cocker spaniel found it, and food tempted it out.

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  12. "CVS is hiding candy from consumers" CVS store managers mysteriously put on 40 pounds each. Coincidence?

    And yes, the feel good story made me feel very good. Kudos to her!

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  13. The moose chasing a golfer seems like such a strange thing to me. I'm more used to alligators doing that.

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