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Thursday, May 11, 2017

Nail Polish Driving is Buzzed Driving


Nail Polish Driving is Buzzed Driving
Do women still do their own nails?  It seems like everywhere I go  there are multiple nail salons.  None of my wives ever did their own nails.  Apparently, these days, for about 10-15 bucks, you can sit in a chair and someone named Kim will do your nails for you.

My mom always did her own nails.  She was a master at it, often doing them in the car.  She could do both hands in three stop lights.  She did not polish nails and drive; my mom was a responsible manicurist.

The first traffic light would be all mom needed to remove the old polish.  I got my very first contact high from the solvent mom used to remove the old polish while I was sitting in the front seat of the car.  

The second light was time enough to give all her nails a quick buff. 

The third light was the most amazing.  With the bottle between her legs and eyes glancing occasionally to check the stop light status, mom would dip and paint.  She could cover a nail in one swipe and not get the polish on anything but her nail.  It was sheer poetry in motion.

You may wonder, “Why did your mom do her nails in the car?  Why not just do them at home in her leisure?” 

I don’t know.  Probably because she had no leisure, and if she did she would not waste it doing her nails when she could do that while driving.

As I think back, the process was not all that safe.  Yes, she did most of the process waiting at a red light, but when the polish was on, she drove with one hand at a time while blowing on her nails and or waving her hand around to have the polish dry.

Yes, those were dangerous days my friend.  There were no seat belts, no power steering or antilock brakes.   Children were not strapped in car seats, but bounced around in the back, made noise, and distracted the driver with that “I’m not touching you” game.

There were no cell phone distractions to cause accidents, but I have no idea how we survived with mom driving one-handed, air drying her nails, all while flying high on an acetone polish-remover buzz.

20 comments:

  1. You're lucky you're still alive!!

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  2. I can see where you would be in awe, and extremely lucky too! Woe be to the kid in the front passenger seat when she had to brake quickly and her wet polish got in his/her face. (I would throw my arm out to protect my 'shotgun' until I quit driving, ha ha)

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  3. Your mom had a great talent for sure! I can change pantyhose (wearing a dress) while being a passenger in a car, but never attempted anything like that or doing my nails while driving. Had a friend in Southern California who had a long commute. Add slowed/stopped traffic to her commute time, she got proficient doing her makeup in the car while stuck. Ingenious. Her and your mom.

    betty

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  4. People were more self-reliant back then! And kids were tougher.

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  5. I paint my nails but I couldn't do them driving! That's skill and I'm in awe. Your mom was awesome. ๐Ÿ˜Š

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  6. I paint my nails but I couldn't do them driving! That's skill and I'm in awe. Your mom was awesome. ๐Ÿ˜Š

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  7. Doing each nail with only one swipe of the brush is a skill indeed and doing it while driving is even more skilful. Did your mother have slim fingers with narrow nails? I have wide nails and need three swipes of the brush. There's no way I could get that done while driving.

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  8. In those days nail polish took longer to dry so it makes your Mom even more clever. Talking of the amount of nail bars... I counted in nine in one small street. I think those who go on a regular basis must be rich.

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  9. I can't remember the last time I painted my nails, I just cut them when they get too long. I can't imagine trying to drive and do them at the same time, sounds like a recipe for disaster in more ways than one! Having said that, my Mum was a TERRIBLE driver even when she focused fully on the road.

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  10. I am impressed with your mom's ability to apply nail polish at all, let alone in a car. Now if she also did her toe nails...
    It is quite amazing any of the previous generations lived long enough to spawn the progeny of today.

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  11. Women seem to like multi tasking while they drive..I've seen them using a curling iron while they drive and, yes, drying their polish. There\s way more traffic now and when I see these time deprived moms using their drive time to multi task I try to give them lots (and lots) of room.

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  12. Oh yes, the good old days Joe, I remember them well....

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  13. I do my own nails, but can't imagine doing them in the car. Then again, I can barely eat a banana while driving, so I'm not very talented.

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  14. Hats off to your Mom. That was some talent. I need a steady support and time. Can't imagine the pressure of it being a timed event.

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  15. Mommies are magic. It's just that simple.

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  16. Polishing nails while in the car took a strong degree of talent. I remember even occasionally doing my toe nails with foot upon dash at a stop light.
    That just took "youth."
    Great post

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  17. I still paint my nails - (not in the car) I'm old school.

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  18. I'm a klutz...I can't paint my nails even in the privacy and leisure time of my own home. I've seen people do their makeup/shave/read the paper while driving. That scares me at the same time I'm awed at those multi-tasking skills. However, those skills seem to end for most people when it comes to using turn signals while driving.

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