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Wednesday, May 18, 2016

THE STARBURST CONSPIRACY


THE STARBURST CONSPIRACY
Mrs. Cranky likes Starbursts, a mouth watering juicy delight of a candy.  Recently she has taken to bringing a bag of a new chicklets sized Starburst Mini's as a bed time snack.  As much as I have been trying to sharply reduce my daily intake of sugar, I do submit to a handful of Starbursts from time to time.

There are four flavors of Starbursts in a package of the chicklet sized candy; lemon, orange, strawberry and cherry.  I like all the flavors, though cherry is my favorite.  Mrs. Cranky does not like lemon.

Yesterday Mrs. Cranky handed me my own bag of Starbursts. 

“Instead of bothering me for a candy, I bought you your own bag.”

Of course I whined (because that is what I do) that now I would have no control over how many I ate and I didn’t want all that extra sugar.  Mrs. Cranky told me to just show some control because she was tired of being the keeper of the candy and being responsible for my portion control.

You may be thinking, "Holy Hannah what a stupid argument."  You may be right.

Anyway, I now have my own individual bag of Starbursts by my bed side.

Last night I reached into my own personal bag and pulled out three yellow candies.  Not my favorite, but good enough for me to want more so I reached in and pulled out three more candies…all yellow.  I shrugged off this coincidence until my next grab produced three more yellow candies.

“Wait a minute!  Why are all my candies yellow?  The package shows four colors are supposed to be inside.”

“…….”

“There are no other flavors in my package, only lemon!”

“……”

“Did you go through the packages and switch all the other flavors with lemon?”

“……”

“YOU DID!”

“There’s a red in your package.”

“Really, how do you know?  What...did you leave one red just to throw me off?”

“Maybe.”

“Now who is the jerk?”

“Still you.”

18 comments:

  1. I'd leave the toilet set up for at least a week if I were you. ;)

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  2. Are you gonna pay for my computer repair cause you just made me spit coffee all over the keyboard. That is too funny?

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  3. Bwahahahahahahahaha. Your wife is a hoot. She really is.

    Have a fabulous day Cranky. ☺

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  4. Heeheehee! Again, maybe you just need to buy your own treats, and put your name on them.

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  5. I saw this one coming. You two kids are a hoot! Just eat the dang lemons that life throws at ya.
    Lisa

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  6. Ha, a delight it must be to have your own bag of candy.

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  7. So there was a motive on Mrs. Cranky's part to get you your own bag of candy. Wasn't for monitoring your portion control but to get all the flavors she enjoyed :)

    betty

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  8. Tell Mrs. C that I love her!!

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  9. LOL!!!

    Reminds me of my college roomies yelling at me for eating all of the chunks of cookie dough and brownie out of the Ben & Jerry's, and leaving them with just plain ol' vanilla and chocolate ice cream....

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  10. Oh, come on! Look at the Starburst glass as half full, not half empty. At least Mrs. C gave you your own (though tampered-with) bag. It's not like she put it on the kitchen counter under a towel.

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  11. My husband loves Gummy Bears but doesn't like the white ones - he tries to pawn all the whites off on the Grands. Also, I only like curled chips, so now the Grands hand them over if they get curled ones. So, I see where Mrs. Cranky is coming from. We are all nuts, it seems.

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  12. Very funny, but that's a lot of little chicklets to shove around on the kitchen counter.

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  13. I'm wondering if you soaked those extra lemon Starbursts in vodka...would that make limoncello?

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  14. my mother would have said, 'dirty pool!'

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  15. Catching up reading some posts today. I needed a laugh to start the day and knew I could rely on your posts. :) This reminds me of the time I handed the hubby an entire bag of green MM's just to test that theory.

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  16. Star bursts are candy crack. But that was a funny gag she played on you. Classic.

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  17. You two are just too funny. Still waiting for the Cranky pilot. Her method of portion control almost worked. You have to admit living with her is in no way boring.

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  18. Stick with real candy.....chocolate!

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