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Saturday, May 14, 2016

STUPID HEADLINE 051516


STUPID HEADLINE 051516
And that is why I prefer dogs!
It is time again for
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.  

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Homicide Victims Rarely Talk To Police* – This was the result of a three year study.

Florida man shoots, kills brother in beef over cheeseburger – A “Where’s the beef,” beef.

Virginia girl without hands wins handwriting contestCompetitive parents challenge results on a technicality! (Seriously, she used her elbows to write… amazing.)

Scientists believe they have found a cure for pedophiliaPenisectomy!

Feds need public help collecting coyote poop – WTF! Is Washington running out of bullshit?

After a 48-day coma, Army veteran shocks family with first words 'I want Taco Bell' – Turns out he was asking for a cowbell, which is even stranger.


Feds pay researcher to have bee sting his penis* – I am going to guess that he did not have a happy ending.

Pope says he's willing to study whether women can be deacons – But only if they are called Deaconettes.

'Fat activist' lectures college kids on 'thin privilege' – The lecturer has a Masters in Human Sexuality—with a focus on the “intersection of body size, race and gender” …I’ve been a smoker, I’ve been a drunk and I’ve been fat, all are things you can change, stop being a bloody (for you Sarah) victim!

HS lacrosse players accused of killing guinea pig, painting faces with blood – What is it about lacrosse players?  BTW, they lost 16-6.

Former VP Dan Quayle endorses Donald Trump for President – “Trump and the Presidency go together like steak and a potatoe.”

Woman arrested for stinking up bathroom and closing down restaurantI got nothing…this is from the article - One customer adds, “I couldn’t breathe. I knew she was in there blasting fudge monkeys, but the smell was toxic. This woman is a monster; human beings are not capable of something so foul.”
The first responding firefighters had to go in with oxygen tanks. “Never in my 30 years on the job have I seen anything so rancid,” states the Fire Chief. “It was dangerous sending my guys in there, but we had to rescue the 200+ people trapped and unable to move. These men are heroes.”

*Thx to Fraternity brothers Frog and Marty for SH submissions.

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Come back next week for more:

  STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!

13 comments:

  1. I think I have a better cure for pedophilia than a penisectomy. A headectomy. Once you remove their head, a pedophile can't wreak any more havoc or heartache...

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  2. Oh the last one. Really? How is that possible?

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  3. A 3 yr. study on homicide victims not speaking?? Hahahaha.- The feds should come here. They can have all of the coyote poop they want! - No to the women deacons. It's bad enough we have altar girls now. Ugh. Tradition. Can we just keep a little bit of it?

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  4. I always wanted to be the first woman Pope, but since I'm not Catholic those prejudiced archbishops wouldn't even consider me!!

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  5. Dan Quayle is still in the US?? The one I feel sorry for in woman clearing the restaurant bit is the poor fellow that probably at one time had to go home with her. Pretty sure he is now where I thought Dan Quayle was.

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  6. Fascinating stuff as only you can present it!

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  7. holy mackerel! So amazingly silly.

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  8. LOL on your cure for pedophilia!

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  9. Funny thing is...the Feds could probably have found a guy who would let a bee sting his penis for FREE. Always wasting our tax dollars...

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  10. Wait a minute - they ARRESTED the stinky-poop lady?!? I mean, I get it - stinking up a public restroom is obnoxious (and, you know, just plain noxious). . . But. . . stink-bombing a public john is something you can get ARRESTED for?!?

    And now I'm wondering if the bee-sting-penis guy is some kinda 'holistic' penis-enlargement thing. . . Bet that'll make Mr. Happy swell right up. . .

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