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Monday, May 16, 2016

Muffin Mayhem


Muffin Mayhem

I don’t think I have ever gone to a supermarket and not been annoyed at something.  Granted it does not take much to annoy me.  Today I got annoyed at something new.  I am used to shopping carts left in the middle of aisles where you cannot pass, I have gotten over people ripping the husk off the corn to get the best ear…ok, I have not gotten over that, but the corn is not in season at this time, and I try to ignore people with twelve items checking out of the ten item or less lane. 

I now have a new supermarket peeve.

At the bakery section there are several kinds of muffins on display under a plastic display case.  Next to the display case is a box of wax paper squares and a sign directing you to use the wax paper to pick out your muffin.  Now I generally look into the case, decide which type of muffin I want, then decide which specific muffin of that type looks the biggest and then reach in and grab that muffin. 

I do not use the wax paper square.  Go ahead and judge me.  I never touch another muffin, only the one I am going to purchase.  Why would I waste a wax paper square?  Using a wax paper square just to grab a muffin cannot be good for the environment, it is just silly.

However, when picking out my muffin, I find if there are people around I will use the square.  I can just feel the judgmental eyes on me and I don’t want some holier than thou d-bag chastising me; so if I am being watched I will use the wax paper square.

Then I go from the muffin bin to fruits and vegetables. 

In this section people are grabbing and squeezing the fruit and putting it back.  Why is this OK?  Why do I have to grab my muffin with wax paper when others are squeezing my tomatoes and testing the firmness of my apples?  Yes, I can wash my tomato and my apple and you can’t really wash a muffin, but there is no reason to test poke and squeeze a muffin.

I’ve had it with these dumb rules at a store where common sense and manners are routinely ignored and I am not going to put up with it any longer. 

From now on I am grabbing my muffin with my bare hands.  If anyone wants to complain I will give them a piece of my logical mind!  When I pick out my tomatoes and apples, if I need to poke, squeeze and prod I will use a wax paper square.  If I see anyone poking, prodding or squeezing bare handed, I will give them the evil eye stare.

That’s right, I’m a rebel!

20 comments:

  1. Think about it, it really is not very hygienic how they have the muffins on display like that. Its for that reason hubby hates to go to buffets, especially those frequented by young guests. You have to wonder how many "grubby" hands touched the muffin before you might have :)

    betty

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  2. We have a roll of plastic bags and a pair of tongs attached to a chain for picking out baked goods. I ignore the tongs and use the plastic bag turned half inside out to pick up my chosen delight, then fold the bag over it, tie a knot and proceed to the checkout. We learned to do this when I worked in the deli section, if we ran out of fresh gloves, we did the inside out bag pick up so our hands never touched other people's sliced meats.

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  3. I had to laugh at the way you chose the muffin. I do that with donuts......which creme stick looks longer?

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  4. Thinking about this makes me want to scrub my food extra hard when I get it home.

    That probably wouldn't work for muffins.

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  5. Let us know how this works out for you. I've a feeling not well. You can't win with some folks. This is mighty funny though.

    Have a fabulous day Joe. ☺

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  6. Where do you shop? I want to go somewhere else!!

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  7. Best solution to this problem is to bake your own muffins at home. It'd be cheaper, better, and you wouldn't have to worry about anybody else's grubby hands touching them. Just your own grubby hands. :) (Plus you can freeze most of them, and pull 'em out as you need them.)

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  8. Many years ago we had a dog named Muffin.
    He was a golden retriever.
    He was named before we got him.
    The folks who gave him to us had to give him up because of Muffin Mayhem.
    He couldn't be stopped from killing chickens.

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  9. Perhaps this unwritten rule exists because you can wash most fruits and veggies, but you can't wash a muffin? (At least, I don't think you can?)

    I'm still amazed supermarket salad bars exist. You'd find less bacteria in a public bathroom.

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  10. If you have to rebel, the muffin case and produce section are a good place to do it.

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  11. Yeah, I use the wax paper but touch the kale to see if it is crisp--it usually isn't and I am sure I am #36 that day that felt up the kale. A little bare handing of a muffin is mot nearly as offensive. Go for it.

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  12. Just to be clear, the only muffin I ever bare hand is MY muffin!

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  13. Go complain to the health department, they are the ones who demand the squares be offered. While you are at it, ask them why they don't require them when picking fruit and veggies.

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  14. Now I want a muffin, though I'm not sure I want a muffin...

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  15. And even if YOU wash your hands after using a public restroom...you still have to grab the handle to pull open the door and get out! You know everybody does not wash hands. Hopefully, they don't head straight to the muffin case.

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  16. So i guess my habit of trying the muffins out with a small bite and putting them back isn't a good idea? Live and learn....

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  17. Oh man, I think we need to go shopping together. I do the same thing with muffins! Or did. Before I found out that I myself will become a GIANT muffin with GIANT muffin-tops around my midriff if I keep up the muffin habit. But I do love lemon poppy seed muffins. Even the bran ones aren't that bad.
    Sorry if I squeezed your tomato just now. Didn't mean anything by it.

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  18. I understand your frustration and logic. My supermarket has bags and tongues which I imagine is a better idea than wax squares.

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