When I was but a young lad and wanted to impress a young lady, I always dressed my best. I showered, applied several layers of deodorant, splashed on gobs of aftershave, and slicked my hair down so it wouldn’t move out of place.
I would wear my favorite shoes with my favorite pair of socks, my favorite shirt and my favorite pair of pants.
Sometimes I would not see that young lady again.
If I did win a second date I would first be told,
“Its, going to be cool out, so don’t worry about…you know…the heat and stuff, and we will be inside so you won’t need much aftershave, and I like your white socks and the striped shirt and those plaid pants, but I’ll bet you’d look nice with dark socks and a solid shirt.”
If the young lady really liked me, by the third date she might say,
“Listen, go light on the deodorant, I hate ‘English Leather’, never wear white socks with long pants, stripes and checks make you look like a clown, and for crap sake, stop with the grease and let your hair be natural! You don’t have any sisters do you?”
I learned that if I wanted a fourth date I'd damn well better follow directions.