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Sunday, February 17, 2013

STUPID HEADLINES 021713


STUPID HEADLINES 021713

It is time once again for:

 

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
 

Was he arrested for petty theft?
 

 With Cranky’s stupider, sophomoric, and sometimes offensive comments

Jodi Arias says lover was a pedophile who beat her during murder trial – I’m trying to follow this case, but now I am confused.  She stabbed this man 27 times and shot him in the head all in self-defense, now she is saying he beat her during the murder trial?  If he beat her during the trial clearly he is alive and she is not guilty!  Next case.

Lehigh University student got a C+ and now seeks $1.3 million in lawsuit - $1.3 million for a C+…if I knew they were worth that much I would have studied a hell of a lot harder.  Still I think Lafayette owes me at least $3.9 million.

'Blade Runner' Pistorius charged with murder after girlfriend shot to death in home – This is the Olympic sprinter who ran on two prosthetics.  What a sad story.  If you expected me to say that “in this case he doesn’t have a leg to stand on” I will not.   How crass do you think I am to go for a cheap comment like that?  You all should be ashamed of yourselves!

School says Students’ Use of “USA USA” Chant is Racist – I don’t know if it is racist, but I must admit that except for when we beat Russia in that “Miracle on Ice” this chant has annoyed me.   It is disrespectful and immature. 

I prefer “Nana Nana Na Na!”

College student creates condom delivery service to promote safe sex – “Ah yes, CDS?  I need one medium lubricated  ribbed.  And make it fast…I mean really fast!”

Valentine's Day around the worldNaw…I have some standards.

Tiger Woods' Ex Tears Down $12M Mansion – Star’s ex-wife used a two iron and 175,000 strokes…127 over par!

The One Smell Women Can’t Resist Many men will be surprised to find out it does not follow “Pull my finger!”

Former prison doctor gets 2 years for sexually assaulting inmates at Atlanta penitentiary – When informed of the charges, the doctor responded, “Oh…penitENTiary…my bad.”

10 Signs of ADHD in ToddlersI don’t know, after the third sign I just lost interest.

Some Things You Didn't Know About Amanda Bynes – For starters…who the HELL is she?




12 comments:

  1. I'm still stuck on the "One smell women can't resist...." This could bug me all day.

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  2. "I prefer “Nana Nana Na Na!” And don't forget the ever-popular "Bite Me!"

    Hmmm...a condom delivery service. Sounds like a good way to get leads. ;)

    S

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  3. When you find out about Amanda Bynes please let me know!

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  4. I'm with Fishducky. Who is she and who cares? Great post as always.

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  5. Lots of funny here, but that newspaper headline takes the cake.

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  6. Here's betting that the "suspiciously small package" arrestee would order a magnum condom from the delivery dude.

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  7. I am wondering how many men ordering condoms would exaggerate the correct sizing and find the experience unfulfilling. ;-)

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  8. Condom delivery service? I don't get how the USA chant is racist, either. I'm so confused.

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  9. Pull my finger. LOL. Such a classic.

    What I want to know is how come it's okay for my husband to turn to me and say "Pull my finger" and it's supposed to be cute and funny...but if I say it to him? Oh no WAY does that ever fly. He gets this look on his face as if I just murdered someone. "Don't even mess around with that." he will say, suddenly very serious. You know, I use that to my advantage. Not in the mood? I don't fake a headache. Nope, I just turn to him and say, "Honey..pull my finger." and that's the END of that thought. He will actually get UP and OUT of the bed, just at the gesture.
    Men. Are Funny!

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  10. I'd imagine a delivery service of any kind in a College would be a money spinner. Condoms, alcohol, cookies, if you're willing to deliver after 1am you'll rake in the cash.

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