STUPID HEADLINES 020313
It is time once
again for:
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
At least they did not use "See you next Tuesday"
With Cranky’s stupider, sophomoric, and
sometimes offensive comments
Group of male German soldiers developing breasts from
drill training – Good bye Step-aerobics, Pilates, and Zumba, I smell a new fad for
American women!
Missing Australian boy found alive after surviving 2
months in bushland – Big
deal! We survived Bush-land for 8 years.
(Grow up
Conservatives, it’s a joke!... I could have gone blue.)
Ind. Officer, Wife Could Face Jail
for Saving Deer – What did they do, stuff them in The Vault of
the First National S + L? Did they only
save the Doe?
Virginia considers dropping ban on
unmarried couples cohabitating – Well we all could use a little deodorant
protection, but why just unmarried couples cohabitating?
FDA warns company over unapproved flu remedy – Agency sees no benefit to swinging a dead cat over your head in a grave yard at midnight.
FDA warns company over unapproved flu remedy – Agency sees no benefit to swinging a dead cat over your head in a grave yard at midnight.
Ray Lewis avoids talk of report on
deer spray – I also avoid this subject whenever it comes up at a
cocktail party.
Not everyone likes big boobs — for example, North Korea –
This refers to breasts, obviously not political
leaders. Survey of North Korean men shows
they prefer small breasts.
Scientific survey finds North Korean men lie about sexual
preferences. – OK, now I
understand the last one.
Facebook profile may expose mental illness – Not me! I checked the box for SANE.
Tennessee bill would require schools to report gay
activity to parents – In
my day any sexual activity was not allowed in school…at least that’s what the
girls told me. And it was common for the
girls to hold hands and walk arm and arm; does that mean they were Lesbians? WHAT? Nevermind.
Golfing with guns – FORE…ah shit!
Married adults have lower risk of heart attack – In a separate study it is found that
inactive, morbidly obese alcoholics with heavy smokers breath tend to stay
unmarried.
Man finds (valuable) whale vomit on English
beach – Pass
the krill please, baby needs a new pair
of shoes.
Biden says curbs on guns
won't stop massacres – Vice President is also adamant
that sidewalks, gutters or stop signs on guns will not stop massacres.White House releases photo of Obama shooting at Camp David
Our President pulls off the difficult double clay pigeon perpendicular shot!
Be sure to stop by next week for:
STUPID HEADLINES 021013
I never mastered the double clay pigeon perpendicular shot etiher!
ReplyDelete"White House releases photo of Obama shooting at Camp David"
ReplyDeleteWasn't that the same weekend Obama invited House Speaker Boner to Camp David for some guys bonding time?
S
Don't you just wish editors would read their headlines before publishing. Anyway I have added you to me blogroll - thought I had done this ages ago already. Love your blog and your sense of humor.
ReplyDeletethe back-to-back north korea ones made me laugh. just 'a chick' here.
ReplyDeleteoh my gosh. Why am I always suprsised that I laugh at these?!
ReplyDeleteThe chick is my favorite. I certainly hope those male colleagues were not holding doors open for her!
ReplyDeleteAs regards the last headline: Yeah, but did he HIT Camp David?
ReplyDeleteAs always, a great collection presented with wit. I especially like the "ban" one, although it took me fifteen seconds to get it (my denseness, not your fault.)
I love the North Korean ones, too. And I also loved your comments about reporting gay activity in schools. I thought any kind of sexual activity wasn't allowed, too!
ReplyDeleteYou just can't win. Get in trouble for not supporting local business by shopping. Get in trouble for saving doe. Great collection, great comments.
ReplyDeleteWhat has Obama got against Camp David? Most people complain if there's something they don't like - they don't shoot it.
ReplyDelete