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Sunday, February 3, 2013

STUPID HEADLINES 020313


STUPID HEADLINES 020313

It is time once again for:

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
 
At least they did not use "See you next Tuesday"
 

 

With Cranky’s stupider, sophomoric, and sometimes offensive comments

 

Group of male German soldiers developing breasts from drill training – Good bye Step-aerobics, Pilates, and Zumba, I smell a new fad for American women!

Missing Australian boy found alive after surviving 2 months in bushland – Big deal!  We survived Bush-land for 8 years.

(Grow up Conservatives, it’s a joke!... I could have gone blue.)

Ind. Officer, Wife Could Face Jail for Saving Deer What did they do, stuff them in The Vault of the First National S + L?  Did they only save the Doe?

Virginia considers dropping ban on unmarried couples cohabitating Well we all could use a little deodorant protection, but why just unmarried couples cohabitating?  

FDA warns company over unapproved flu remedyAgency sees no benefit to swinging a dead cat over your head in a grave yard at midnight.

Ray Lewis avoids talk of report on deer spray – I also avoid this subject whenever it comes up at a cocktail party.

Not everyone likes big boobs — for example, North Korea – This  refers to breasts, obviously not political leaders.  Survey of North Korean men shows they prefer small breasts.

Scientific survey finds North Korean men lie about sexual preferences. – OK, now I understand the last one.

Facebook profile may expose mental illnessNot me! I checked the box for SANE.

Tennessee bill would require schools to report gay activity to parents – In my day any sexual activity was not allowed in school…at least that’s what the girls told me.  And it was common for the girls to hold hands and walk arm and arm; does that mean they were Lesbians?  WHAT?  Nevermind.

Golfing with guns – FORE…ah shit!

Married adults have lower risk of heart attack – In a separate study it is found that inactive, morbidly obese alcoholics with heavy smokers breath tend to stay unmarried.

Man finds (valuable) whale vomit on English beachPass the krill please,  baby needs a new pair of shoes.
Biden says curbs on guns won't stop massacres – Vice President is also adamant that sidewalks, gutters or stop signs on guns will not stop massacres.

White House releases photo of Obama shooting at Camp David

Our President pulls off the difficult double clay pigeon perpendicular  shot!
 

 Be sure to stop by next week for:
 
STUPID HEADLINES 021013 

10 comments:

  1. I never mastered the double clay pigeon perpendicular shot etiher!

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  2. "White House releases photo of Obama shooting at Camp David"

    Wasn't that the same weekend Obama invited House Speaker Boner to Camp David for some guys bonding time?

    S

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  3. Don't you just wish editors would read their headlines before publishing. Anyway I have added you to me blogroll - thought I had done this ages ago already. Love your blog and your sense of humor.

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  4. the back-to-back north korea ones made me laugh. just 'a chick' here.

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  5. oh my gosh. Why am I always suprsised that I laugh at these?!

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  6. The chick is my favorite. I certainly hope those male colleagues were not holding doors open for her!

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  7. As regards the last headline: Yeah, but did he HIT Camp David?

    As always, a great collection presented with wit. I especially like the "ban" one, although it took me fifteen seconds to get it (my denseness, not your fault.)

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  8. I love the North Korean ones, too. And I also loved your comments about reporting gay activity in schools. I thought any kind of sexual activity wasn't allowed, too!

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  9. You just can't win. Get in trouble for not supporting local business by shopping. Get in trouble for saving doe. Great collection, great comments.

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  10. What has Obama got against Camp David? Most people complain if there's something they don't like - they don't shoot it.

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