STUPID HEADLINES 021713
It is time once again for:
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
Was he arrested for petty theft?
With Cranky’s stupider, sophomoric, and sometimes offensive comments
Jodi Arias says lover was a pedophile who beat her during murder trial – I’m trying to follow this case, but now I am confused. She stabbed this man 27 times and shot him in the head all in self-defense, now she is saying he beat her during the murder trial? If he beat her during the trial clearly he is alive and she is not guilty! Next case.
Lehigh University student got a C+ and now seeks $1.3 million in lawsuit - $1.3 million for a C+…if I knew they were worth that much I would have studied a hell of a lot harder. Still I think Lafayette owes me at least $3.9 million.
'Blade Runner' Pistorius charged with murder after girlfriend shot to death in home – This is the Olympic sprinter who ran on two prosthetics. What a sad story. If you expected me to say that “in this case he doesn’t have a leg to stand on” I will not. How crass do you think I am to go for a cheap comment like that? You all should be ashamed of yourselves!
School says Students’ Use of “USA USA” Chant is Racist – I don’t know if it is racist, but I must admit that except for when we beat Russia in that “Miracle on Ice” this chant has annoyed me. It is disrespectful and immature.
I prefer “Nana Nana Na Na!”
College student creates condom delivery service to promote safe sex – “Ah yes, CDS? I need one medium lubricated ribbed. And make it fast…I mean really fast!”
Valentine's Day around the world – Naw…I have some standards.
Tiger Woods' Ex Tears Down $12M Mansion – Star’s ex-wife used a two iron and 175,000 strokes…127 over par!
The One Smell Women Can’t Resist – Many men will be surprised to find out it does not follow “Pull my finger!”
Former prison doctor gets 2 years for sexually assaulting inmates at Atlanta penitentiary – When informed of the charges, the doctor responded, “Oh…penitENTiary…my bad.”
10 Signs of ADHD in Toddlers – I don’t know, after the third sign I just lost interest.
Some Things You Didn't Know About Amanda Bynes – For starters…who the HELL is she?