STUPID HEADLINES 021713
It is time once again for:
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
Was he arrested for petty theft?
With
Cranky’s stupider, sophomoric, and sometimes offensive comments
Jodi Arias says lover was a pedophile who beat her during
murder trial – I’m trying to
follow this case, but now I am confused.
She stabbed this man 27 times and shot him in the head all in
self-defense, now she is saying he beat her during the murder trial? If he beat her during the trial clearly he is
alive and she is not guilty! Next case.
Lehigh
University student got a C+ and now seeks $1.3 million in lawsuit - $1.3 million for a C+…if I knew
they were worth that much I would have studied a hell of a lot harder. Still I think Lafayette owes me at least $3.9
million.
'Blade Runner' Pistorius charged with murder after
girlfriend shot to death in home – This is the Olympic sprinter who ran on two prosthetics. What a sad story. If you expected me to say that “in this case
he doesn’t have a leg to stand on” I will not.
How crass do you think I am to go for a cheap comment like that? You all should be ashamed of yourselves!
School says Students’ Use of “USA
USA” Chant is Racist –
I don’t know if it is racist, but I must admit that except for when we beat
Russia in that “Miracle on Ice” this chant has annoyed me. It is
disrespectful and immature.
I prefer “Nana Nana
Na Na!”
College student creates condom delivery service to
promote safe sex – “Ah
yes, CDS? I need one medium
lubricated ribbed. And make it fast…I mean really fast!”
Valentine's Day around the world
– Naw…I have some standards.
Tiger Woods' Ex Tears Down $12M Mansion – Star’s
ex-wife used a two iron and 175,000 strokes…127 over par!
The One Smell Women Can’t Resist –
Many men will be surprised to find out
it does not follow “Pull my finger!”
Former prison doctor gets 2 years for sexually assaulting
inmates at Atlanta penitentiary – When informed of the charges, the doctor responded, “Oh…penitENTiary…my
bad.”
10 Signs
of ADHD in Toddlers – I don’t know, after the third sign I just lost interest.
Some Things You Didn't Know About
Amanda Bynes – For starters…who
the HELL is she?
I'm still stuck on the "One smell women can't resist...." This could bug me all day.
ReplyDelete"I prefer “Nana Nana Na Na!” And don't forget the ever-popular "Bite Me!"
ReplyDeleteHmmm...a condom delivery service. Sounds like a good way to get leads. ;)
S
When you find out about Amanda Bynes please let me know!
ReplyDeletethe adhd cracked me up. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm with Fishducky. Who is she and who cares? Great post as always.
ReplyDeleteI wanna hear your take on this
ReplyDeleteLots of funny here, but that newspaper headline takes the cake.
ReplyDeleteHere's betting that the "suspiciously small package" arrestee would order a magnum condom from the delivery dude.
ReplyDeleteI am wondering how many men ordering condoms would exaggerate the correct sizing and find the experience unfulfilling. ;-)
ReplyDeleteCondom delivery service? I don't get how the USA chant is racist, either. I'm so confused.
ReplyDeletePull my finger. LOL. Such a classic.
ReplyDeleteWhat I want to know is how come it's okay for my husband to turn to me and say "Pull my finger" and it's supposed to be cute and funny...but if I say it to him? Oh no WAY does that ever fly. He gets this look on his face as if I just murdered someone. "Don't even mess around with that." he will say, suddenly very serious. You know, I use that to my advantage. Not in the mood? I don't fake a headache. Nope, I just turn to him and say, "Honey..pull my finger." and that's the END of that thought. He will actually get UP and OUT of the bed, just at the gesture.
Men. Are Funny!
I'd imagine a delivery service of any kind in a College would be a money spinner. Condoms, alcohol, cookies, if you're willing to deliver after 1am you'll rake in the cash.
ReplyDelete