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Sunday, October 7, 2012

STUPID HEADLINES 100712


STUPID HEADLINES 100712

Like it or not, it is Sunday and here are this week’s stupid headlines and my even stupider, sophomoric, and sometimes offensive comments.
 

Drive-through customer shoots into fast food restaurant after being told to turn down music – “You want hollow-points with that?”

Thousands march in Paris against austerityWhat a surprise, liberal France is in favor of irresponsible government no matter what.

Obama Makes 10th Vegas Trip—Since Warning Bankers: Don’t Go There - Republicans hoping who goes to Vegas stays in Vegas.

NYC teacher sues city, claims he was beaten up by first-grader – In his defense, the boy had been left back…so…

Weather On Mars Surprisingly Warm, Curiosity Rover FindsScientists blame Rover for man-made climate change on Mars.

Kentucky restaurant shut down after roadkill found in kitchen –                        Mmmm I love chicken…tastes like road kill.

Or

So THAT’S The Colonels’ secret receipt.

Or

Puts new meaning to “I’ll have one for the road.”

Or

Submit your comment!

 

Unusual Dallas Earthquakes Linked to Fracking – Can’t they convert the shaking earth into energy.  When life gives you lemons…

Colorado movie theater shooting suspect claims his rights were violated – First of all he is pleading insanity so he is not a “suspect” he is a killer who may or may not be found insane. 
 

I’m thinking insane.

The claimed rights violation is the release of the photo on the right.  And that photo hurts his plea of insanity how?

Student Who Got 'Gay Cure' Sues California Over New LawI’m not sure that the California law is a good one or not, but the “Gay Cure?”  Hmmm… “When you hear a bell you will cluck like a chicken!”  That could be the “Homo Sapien Cure.”

Why Is It Illegal To Ride a Manatee?Come on!  Everyone knows, “You don’t tug on Superman’s cape, you don’t spit into the wind, you don’t ride the back of an old manatee, and you don’t mess around with Jim.”

Florida Man Recovers From Lightning Strike while flying kite – Dude!  It’s been done already, like 135 years ago in Philadelphia.

Sex offenders say city's Halloween ban violates their civil rights – Hmmm…how to respond…how about…FUCK YOU AND YOUR CIVIL RIGHTS!!! CIVIL RIGHTS are for civil people, not child diddling scum of the earth pieces of SHIT!!  What the fuck are you even doing NOT behind bars?...Yeah, that’ll work.

Study: Free birth control leads to fewer abortions – Who paid for this study?  Could there possibly be any other outcome?  In what universe could anyone think that free birth control could result in MORE abortions?

Gore blames Denver altitude for Obama's debate performance – Experts confirm cause of global warming is man-made hot air!

Mountain lions migrating from Nevada to California – Hunting mountain lions is (Microsoft Word wants this to be ARE, not IS, but I disagree) legal in Nevada, illegal in California.  Perhaps we should have a Federal Study to explain this strange migration pattern.

Congressman calls evolution lie from 'pit of hell' – Please tell me this dude is not a Republican……damn.

8 comments:

  1. They've been having earthquakes in Dallas for weeks now, they say due to the frickin' frackin', but I haven't felt a damn thing. I guess my ex was right....I'm just not a very "sensitive" person.

    S

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  2. Love the wacky headliners. :) I saw some of those pop up in the news feed. :) Regarding Kentucky- we had a restaurant get in trouble when the chef hit and killed a deer on the way to work and butchered it in the back. The only reason he got in trouble is because Venison wasn't on the menu or served there.

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  3. I have a wonderful recipe for road kill: "Steal a large frying pan & 6 onions..." For the rest of the recipe, contact me at 1 800 EAT THAT.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks for giving me a smile to start the working week - just what I needed after getting to work and finding the boss as grumpy as always !!!
    Have the best day !
    Me

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lots of fun here, but I think you miss the point on the free birth control one. Conservatives would have you think free birth control leads to promiscuity, which would result in more unwanted pregnancies. If conservatives really cared about preventing abortions, this study should convince them to fund free birth control. But these folks aren't into studies, or science in general.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wunnerful, wunnerful, all of these are gems, but this is my favorite, for some reason.

    " NYC teacher sues city, claims he was beaten up by first-grader – In his defense, the boy had been left back…so…"

    Luv you, Cranky.

    ReplyDelete
  7. "Sex offenders say city's Halloween ban violates their civil rights"

    Yes Sir you pretty much said what I was thinking about this one.

    ReplyDelete
  8. This week was a great week for stupid headlines, wasn't it! Your comments totally cracked me up on several, too! And thanks for the response to the sex offenders. Well put. :)

    ReplyDelete

I love comments, especially some of my commenters are funny as heck!

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