STUPID HEADLINES 102112*

STUPID HEADLINES 102112*

Here are this week's stupid headlines and Cranky's stupider, sophmoric and sometimes offensive comments.

 

Shekky Abdul Leno had a field day with this one on "Late Night in Fallujah"

 

Thousands rally in Pakistan for girl shot by Taliban – The Taliban are apparently almost a bad as a Scandinavian cartoon!  But not quite:

Even before the Taliban took over the Swat Valley, Fazlullah's radio broadcasts spread fear among residents in the area. The group first started to exert its influence in 2007 and quickly extended its reach to much of the valley by the next year. They set about imposing their will on residents by forcing men to grow beards, preventing women from going to the market and blowing up many schools -- the majority for girls.

Imagine how bad a five minute movie on YouTube might be!

 

Doctors perform emergency surgery to remove girl's tongue stuck in bottle – There with just a little more suction go I.  Yeah…like you didn’t try that experiment when you were a kid!

Bad joke prompts Alaska airport evacuation – I’ve been thrown out of a cocktail party before, but I could never clear an airport!

HPV vaccines don't make girls promiscuous, study says – Oh great! Now I have about 2000 cc’s of the stuff to unload on ebay.

Woman, 132, dies, could have been world's oldest person – Coulda woulda shoulda, pretty much everybody still above ground could become the world’s oldest person.

Schools Crack Down on Cheetos – First God, now Cheetos?

Alex Rodriguez hits on female fans during ALCS loss – Slumping slugger strikes out again. 

Taliban Demands Unbiased Coverage of Its Attempted Murder of a 14-Year-Old Girl – Pakistani press refuses to report on the positive aspects of shooting a 14 year old girl in the face at point blank range because she believes women should be allowed to go to school and men should not get their heads chopped off for not growing a beard.

No one killed after suicide bomber attacks near US-Afghan base – Hmmm I think the suicide bomber might disagree…IF HE COULD…but he can’t…BECAUSE HE’s DEAD…SUICIDE BOMBER!!!  HELLO!

Naked Therapist Helps Clients Open Up – I think this just might work, but please Dr. Phil, keep the suit on!

Afghan woman beheaded for refusing to be a prostitute – And yet cartoons and crappy YouTube videos piss these people off!**

 

*Cranky Old Man apologizes for multiple references to The Taliban, The Middle East and backward perverted people.  It just seemed to be a bad week for backward perverted people some of whom may have ties to the Middle East and the Taliban.

**Please note that Cranky Old Man avoided any sick and tasteless comment related to prostitutes and giving head.  Uh Oh maybe I just did…sorry, it’s the Tourette’s.