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Monday, October 29, 2012

STUPID HEADLINES 102912


STUPID HEADLINES 102912
It's Sunday+1, time for last weeks stupid headlines and my stupider sophmoric and sometimes offensive comments.
 

 Italian court convicts 7 scientists for failing to predict earthquake – Italian Universities expect to graduate ZERO seismologists this year.

US scientists successfully make embryos with 2 women, 1 man – Science accomplishes what Charlie Sheen could not.

Shark Falls from Sky Onto Golf Course Greg Norman makes most spectacular entrance ever!

Obama returns to homestate to cast his ballot Exit poll in Hawaii currently has it Obama-1 Romney-0

Toxic cloud forces thousands in southeast Texas to stay indoors – Bubba’s House of Burritos is blamed.

Meth addict accused in burglary sues 90-year-old homeowner shot in jaw –“Like Dude…where’s my constitutional right to shoot old people in the face…Damn…she shot me back…I want me some money!”

Fla. teen injured while trying to jump over a moving car for football recruiting video – Note to teen: You rarely need to jump a moving car in a football game.  

Truck runs over sunbathing reality star’s head Air pressure saves air-head.

New York doctor not liable for patient who caught on fire during cesarean section delivery – Doctor claims the new procedure is actually called a Neroean section.

Study: Quitting smoking before 30 increases women’s lifespan – The study does not specify when women should start smoking in order to gain the benefits of quitting before 30.
 
 
 
Good luck too all on the east coast, and may God protect our Jersey Shore!

10 comments:

  1. Love the sports page headline. Another couple of seconds and the photographer could probably have gotten a good ass-grab shot. ;)

    S

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  2. The smoking one cracked me up and the meth addict really?????

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  3. Great comments! Love it. But I'm afraid I've waited too long to take up smoking to gain those extra years. Dang.

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  4. Too funny!! Love the Charlie Sheen headline!

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  5. You make an absurd yet totally logical comment on that last one. Ha!

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  6. I have the Italian court article on our kitchen table for the kids to read...unbelievable.
    hope you are safe.

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  7. I love reading the news sometimes, it really can't be beat for ridiculousness.

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  8. I'm totally not getting what is newsworthy about making an embryo with two woman and one man. I love your quip to it, though! :)

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  9. Love reading the ridiculous headlines here. I'm still trying to figure out how the lady caught on fire having a c-section. I guess stranger things have happened! Def enjoyed reading your posting

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  10. Absolute genius. I bow in your general direction, Mr. Cranky.

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