FRATERNITY REUNION 2012

FRATERNITY REUNION 2012
"SILENCE OF THE HAM"

 

This past weekend, Mrs. Cranky and I went to Sky Top Lodge in the Pocono Mountains in Pennsylvania.  We were attending the 16th annual Lafayette College Fraternity reunion, class of 1968.  The members and their wives are a great bunch, and it is always a good time.

Part of the good time is in the telling of old stories and in ragging on old friends.  Everyone gets in on it, some more than others.  As a member who has few accolades to brag on compared to an assortment of successful doctors, lawyers and captains of business in our group, I am traditionally one of the sharpest tongued (loudest) “raggers.” 

I have established a reputation for being somewhat humorous, and if my comments and stories are not funny, then by golly I am damn sure to be loud and obnoxious.  My previous penchant for overindulging spirits (Oh fuck, I’m a damn alcoholic and have to use restraint in what and how much I imbibe) resulted in my having an especially sharp tongued, loud and obnoxious repartee.

I entered this weekend with a head cold which after 18 holes of golf on Saturday morning in wet chilly conditions settled in my chest and resulted in an extreme case of laryngitis. 

Saturday night is the main occasion for revelry.  There is a cocktail hour, dinner, speeches, and then dancing and general merriment.

It did not take long before my inability to speak above a whisper was apparent to all, and I was set upon by merciless sixtygenarians (it’s a word now) like a deer with a broken leg in a den of lions.  I was unable to respond to the relentless mocking, ribbing, made-up stories and a general continuous “Bag-of-shit” I was assaulted with for most of the night.

What these bullying compatriots failed to realize is, I have a blog and I am not afraid to use it.

 

Here is the wit, wisdom and hilarious retorts that I was unable to deliver due to my infirmity:

To “Stan the Man” - Oh yeah…so did you, and you were naked!

To “Squeak” - I wouldn’t talk if I was you; I remember the parrot and the mouse incident.

To “Gawk” – If you can't beat them, buy them and fire their asses! 

To “JoeB” – So I took a “Mulligan” on the 14^th hole, I’m still calling it a par!

To Mrs. "JoeB" - I know a hump dance when I see it, and that was a hump dance.

To Marty “Hurtika” – You know that hardly ever happened and it is a kilt…not a skirt!

To “Frog” – OK, so she had hairy legs; she had a good personality, she made her own clothes and she was a damn good dancer.

To Mrs. "Frog"  - Walker robber! 

To “Pieman” – You’re a surgeon; is there such a thing as a tonguectomy?   

To “Buddy” – Dude, watch Ginger, I’m pretty sure she’s into me….I’m just saying.

To Mrs. "Buddy" - Are you picking my pocket, or are you just glad to see me? 

To “Catfish” - Fox squirrel hell, that thing had fangs!

To “Wally” – If you had just stayed on your side of the room it would have never happened!

To Mrs. Wally – OK so you guys are married 46 years, I still say it will never last.

To Tony and Mrs. R. – Thanks for hosting; we had a really great time!

 

 

 

Is there anything sadder than old people trying to dance?

 

 

Mrs. Cranky showing her moves.

 

 

Come on, 46 years married? “Get a room!”

 

 

Buddy…keep an eye on her!

 

 

 

 Once a wall flower, always a wall flower.

 

 

Which College Trustee broke into the hotel liquor cabinet?

 

Next year the party is at the Jersey Shore with hosts “Gawk” and wife.  It should be a good time.  I expect great food, great company, and great stories which seem to get more outrageous every year!

 

 

Gawk and Wife