CRANKY’S PREDICTIONS FOR THE YEAR 2030
I am running out of material so this is another sophmoric stupid post from the mind of Cranky that is out of place and has no apparent significance or reason to exist. (the post, not my mind...well maybe both.)
Put these in a time capsule (assuming we make it past the Mayan calendar) and open in 28 years.
1. Inflation in 2030 stays at 27 percent for the tenth year in a row.
2. 7-11 stores start a new checkout tradition, the “Leave a dollar-take a dollar tray.”
3. America mourns the passing of President Barack Obama. Republicans demand to see his death certificate.
4. The New York Giants beat the previously undefeated New England Patriots in the Super Bowl for the third year in a row 17-14. Giant’s quarterback Alf Manning out-duels his cousin Ezekiel Manning.
5. Muslims in the Middle East burn down buildings and throw rocks at anyone not wearing a sheet when it is rumored that “Porky the Pig’s” middle name is Mo Ham Ed.
6. The discovery of ancient manuscripts in Jerusalem prove that the Jews were in fact the chosen people, but Moses asked to make it the best 2 out of 3.
7. The UK sues the states of Connecticut, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont, Maine and Rhode Island claiming copyright to the name “England.”
8. The ACLU sues the US Department of Education claiming the teaching of mathematics is a violation of the Church and State doctrine. ACLU attorney Noah Temple argues “Go forth and multiply?” are you kidding me?
9. Memphis is overrun by religious zealots when Bubba Jones claims his backyard statue of the Virgin Mary has developed a water stain that looks exactly like Elvis.
10. Madonna is severely injured on stage when while dancing she is stabbed in the thigh by her cone bra.
Cranky Old Man appologizes for the above, but it does feel good to get it out of my head.