TRAP SET, She’s A waitin, because I’m Old, Bait not Taken*
I almost always know where my cell phone is. There are two exceptions. One is when the phone is being charged. I will pat every pocket and look in every place I have recently been, looking for the damn thing.
Mrs. C has to prod me.
“Did you look in the charging area?”
“Oh Yeah, thanks.”
The other place is at the bowling lanes. For some reason, perhaps I’m too upset at not hitting a ten pin spare, I often forget my phone which is always in view on the table.
In past years, bowling team partner, Sue, volunteered to remind me about my phone after the match was over.
“Oh crap, my phone, thanks.”
This year Mrs. C joined the team and it is her job to remind me to take my cell phone at the end of the night.
Mrs. C is not as nice about it as Sue.
The other night, as usual, I forgot my phone. Did Mrs. C remind me? No she did not.
Instead she put it in her pocket, thereby setting a wife like trap.
She was just waiting for me to suddenly remember my phone. She would watch me panic. She would hear me curse. Finally she would hear me complain that she didn’t remember to remind me to take my phone.
In her head:
“Oh crap, I left my phone at the alleys!”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, it is not on me and I always forget the damn thing after bowling…you know that! Why didn’t you remember to remind me? Sue always did!”
“So did I you big jerk, I have the phone right here, now apologize!”
All the way home just talk about the bowling. At home just talk about snacks and what is on TV. In bed watching TV. Finally starting to fall asleep.
“Aren’t you missing something?”
“I am? What?”
“Your cell phone you jerk! You forgot it at the lanes again, I had to remember it, put it in my pocket and bring it home and you didn’t even miss it! HERE!!”
“Oh yeah. Thanks.”
“You’re no fun at all, you are too oblivious to even remember you did not remember your phone.”
“Well you shouldn’t try and set me up to be a jerk.”
“Doesn’t matter, you’re a jerk for not being a jerk!”
If marriage was a game, Mrs. C would be undefeated.
*No valedictorian was consulted in this title.