THE FOX SQUIRREL
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Monday, January 24, 2022
THE FOX SQUIRREL
A “Fishing with Frog” LEGEND
Outdoorsman Catfish let me know that Yesterday was National Fox Squirrel Day
In honor of Fox Squirrel Day I submit this two part rerun from 2012
Five years ago while fishing the West Virginia side of the upper Potomac; I spotted a huge squirrel like animal. I shouted out to Frog and Catfish:
“Holy Shit! Did you guys see that?”
“It was like a big squirrel only it was hopping through the woods on the other side of the river. It looked like a small deer with a huge squirrel body.”
Catfish who is the expert on all things that breathe with lungs or gills replied nonchalantly,
“Didn't see it, but it sounds like a Fox Squirrel.”
“Fox squirrel? I never heard of a fox squirrel.”
“They are very common in this area. They are very large squirrels.”
“Large!” Three foot large?”
“It was a fox squirrel.”
I am not an expert on animal life like the Catfish, but I am pretty sure I would have heard somewhere about a three foot high squirrel.
“Are you sure?…This thing was BIG!”
“A fox squirrel is a big squirrel.”
I let it be for the rest of the trip. We did meet some locals and I questioned them about really large squirrels in this area. They immediately responded, “Oh yeah, sounds like a fox squirrel. We see them in our yard all the time.”
When I returned home, the first thing I did was get on the internet and search for “fox squirrel.” I found that there is in fact such an animal. It is the largest of all squirrels growing to almost three pounds. The pictures I found looked exactly like every squirrel I have ever seen except…maybe…a little bigger than most.
The creature I saw was not just three pounds.
The next year I told Catfish this thing I saw was no fox squirrel. It was not three pounds; it was more like 40 pounds.
The Catfish laughed. Frog laughed. It was a big joke; a forty pound squirrel! It is a big joke every year.
“Hey Hagy, watch out for the killer fox squirrel!”
“Did you bring your elephant rifle? Its fox squirrel season you know.”
I say very freaking funny. Go ahead guys, make a joke. I know what I saw. Now I know how people feel when their spotting of a UFO or Bigfoot is put-down with derisive laughter.
I don’t care if Catfish, Frog or anyone else chooses to make fun of me.
Somewhere on the Maryland side of the upper Potomac River is an animal with a very large squirrel-like body, a squirrel-like fluffy tail, and the legs of a Great Dane. It hops like a rabbit....I seem to remember large fangs.
It is NOT a Fox Squirrel!
THE FOX SQUIRREL part II
Last week I posted the story of my sighting of a mythical beast while fly- fishing on the upper Potomac River with old College friends and fraternity brothers Frog and Catfish. Catfish assured me that the creature I spotted from the West Virginia side of the river to the Maryland side, over 200 yards was simply a Fox Squirrel.
The Fox Squirrel is a large (2-3 pounds) squirrel common to the area. The creature I saw was well over 30 pounds and fierce looking. I have been chided by Frog and Catfish ever since, the country rube getting excited about spotting a “fierce” squirrel.
Keep in mind that I was fishing with tri-focal lenses and I have a cataract in my right eye which makes everything a bit cloudy. I don’t believe that a three pound squirrel from over two-hundred yards across the river would have caught my attention. Nevertheless Frog and Catfish insist it had to be a Fox Squirrel. Frog is an avid outdoorsman; Catfish was a big shot with the Delaware Fish and Game Department. I never even stuck it out with the cub scouts. Who am I to argue?
Since my post, the blog community has sought to identify the mysterious creature that I saw on the Maryland side of the river:
Irene from "Irene’s world Travels" insists the creature sounds like the mythical Bulgarian “Wolpertinger.” I did some research on this and it seems unlikely a Wolpertinger would find its way from Europe to the woods of Western Maryland.
"The Broad" from "A Broad with a View" suggests the animal was a “Wild Easter Bunny.” I think The Broad is siding with Frog and Catfish in making fun of me.
Lou from "Sunny Side" (long since retired from posting) Suspects that I saw the elusive Chupacabra or the Mexican goat sucker. Lou is still a little Google-eyed over her recent marriage and as a UK transplant has trouble finding her way from the freeway to the airport. I really cannot give her much credibility. Besides everyone knows the Chupacabra are not found north of Texas.
JohnD, the Aussie outdoorsman from "Tok Tok" place (sadly passed away) Says it sounds like the Australian tourist killer the “Drop Bear.” Research shows that apparently the most poisonous snakes, spiders and toads in the world along with killer stingrays, crocodiles and great white sharks are not enough to scare the bejesus out of tourists; the Aussies have invented the killer “Drop Bear.” Nice try John, I’m not buying it.
Finally, my old College friend and fraternity brother, Fast Freddy the Dentist, alerted me to the possibility the creature is a Fisher Cat.
The Fisher Cat is a fierce 30 pound cat-like weasel which once roamed the north eastern United States until it was almost trapped into extinction for its pelt. The Fisher Cat is so fierce it is the only animal which is able to kill and eat a porcupine. The Fisher Cat is making an ecological comeback.
Now I ask you, whom should I believe?
The retired bigwig with the Delaware Fish and Game Department:
A Rhode Island Dentist:
I’m going with the Dentist!