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Saturday, November 11, 2017

STUPID HEADLINES 111217

STUPID HEADLINES 111217
It’s time again for
I'll pass thank you
 
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments. 
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Students get first hand job experience – Either there is a hyphen missing or this school is prepping for Predatory Teacher High.   (Headline thanks to Rick W.)
Delta passengers busted having oral sex after meeting on plane – Clearly graduates of Predatory Teacher High.  (Headline thanks to Captain Don)
Self-driving shuttle crashes in Las Vegas hours after launch – Hopefully, what crashes in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Gigantic dinosaur-eating plane-size reptile discovered in Mongolia – Was it found eating a plane, or a plane-size reptile…how big a plane? I’m confused.
Harvey Weinstein spotted in disguise at Phoenix restaurant – Proof that you can put lipstick on a pig and it is still a pig.
Illinois man reportedly shoots his own penis after stealing from a hot dog stand – Steal a wiener, lose a wiener.
Mariah Carey's ex-security guard claims singer sexually harassed him – A 60-year-old fat disgusting pock-faced pig producer might sexually harass a young starlet, Mariah Carey on her worst day cannot sexually harass anyone.
A strawberry-topped pizza is the newest target of the Internet's ire – Umm, here is the thing, if you don’t like the idea…DON’T FECKING EAT IT!!
iPhone bug frustrates users typing 'i' – A must admAt, A fAnd thAs to be partAculrly frustratAng!
Matthew McConaughey Spent His Birthday Delivering 4,500 Free Thanksgiving Turkeys – And he heard 4372 bad “All right, all right, all right” imitations.
Mom, 98, Moves Into Retirement Home To Care For Her Son, 80, Because 'You Never Stop Being A Mom' – Oh great, now the son needs to find a place to hide his Playboys.
FEEL-GOOD NEWS OF THE WEEK:
Their Dog Was Missing All Day. He Finally Hobbled Home With A Hero's Note Around His Collar – I am a sucker for a hero dog story.
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Come back again next week for more
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

12 comments:

  1. Hand jobs and oral sex and a penis-wiener accident! My 13-year-old self has a newfound interest in reading the headlines!

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  2. That mom moving into the retirement home story is both sweet and scary, it sounds like something i'd do for my kids.

    Great dog story!

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  3. Yeah, the dinosaur-eating plane thing needed a comma or something.

    I stopped feeding my plane dinosaurs years ago. They give the poor thing an upset stomach, and who wants to fly in THAT?

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  4. Louie the dog is a great story, I enjoyed that one a lot.

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  5. I love the idiot that shot his wiener off. That's poetic justice right there. I linked you to Silly Sunday.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  6. Illinois man reportedly shoots his own penis after stealing from a hot dog stand – Steal a wiener, lose a wiener.

    Gotta love that Old Testament style justice!

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  7. LOVED your feel good story (I was able to open it this week)!!

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  8. Poor Matthew. I'll bet you are right. Loved the dog story.

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  9. First hand job experience? Ha! Love your comment.

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  10. Love the dog story..dogs are the best people I know! (you know what I mean..I hope) The 98yr old Mom headline reminded me of my dear Mom who wanted to come and be with me when I had my bilateral total knee replacement surgery. I said absolutely not..I didn't want my (at the time) 88yr old Mom sitting in the waiting room while I had that done...seriously, how embarrassing. Her knees are good and she's 91 now..show off.

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  11. Steal a wiener, lose a wiener. <-- Proof that your comments are sometimes funnier than the headline!

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