STUPID HEADLINES 111217
It’s time again for
I'll pass thank you
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider,
sometimes sophomoric comments.
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Students get first
hand job experience – Either there is a hyphen missing or this school is prepping for Predatory
Teacher High. (Headline thanks to Rick W.)
Delta passengers busted having oral
sex after meeting on plane – Clearly graduates of Predatory Teacher High. (Headline thanks to Captain Don)
Self-driving shuttle crashes in Las
Vegas hours after launch – Hopefully, what crashes in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Gigantic dinosaur-eating plane-size
reptile discovered in Mongolia – Was it found eating a plane, or a plane-size reptile…how big
a plane? I’m confused.
Harvey Weinstein spotted in disguise
at Phoenix restaurant – Proof that you can put lipstick on a pig and it is still a pig.
Illinois man reportedly shoots his
own penis after stealing from a hot dog stand – Steal a wiener, lose a wiener.
Mariah Carey's ex-security guard
claims singer sexually harassed him – A 60-year-old fat disgusting pock-faced pig producer might
sexually harass a young starlet, Mariah Carey on her worst day cannot sexually
harass anyone.
A strawberry-topped pizza is the
newest target of the Internet's ire – Umm, here is the thing, if you don’t like the idea…DON’T FECKING EAT IT!!
iPhone bug frustrates users typing
'i' – A must admAt,
A fAnd thAs to be partAculrly frustratAng!
Matthew McConaughey Spent His
Birthday Delivering 4,500 Free Thanksgiving Turkeys – And he heard 4372 bad “All right,
all right, all right” imitations.
Mom, 98, Moves Into Retirement Home
To Care For Her Son, 80, Because 'You Never Stop Being A Mom' – Oh great, now the son needs to find a
place to hide his Playboys.
FEEL-GOOD NEWS OF THE
WEEK:
Their Dog Was Missing All Day. He
Finally Hobbled Home With A Hero's Note Around His Collar – I am a sucker for a hero dog story.
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Come back again next
week for more
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
Hand jobs and oral sex and a penis-wiener accident! My 13-year-old self has a newfound interest in reading the headlines!
ReplyDeleteThat mom moving into the retirement home story is both sweet and scary, it sounds like something i'd do for my kids.
ReplyDeleteGreat dog story!
Yeah, the dinosaur-eating plane thing needed a comma or something.
ReplyDeleteI stopped feeding my plane dinosaurs years ago. They give the poor thing an upset stomach, and who wants to fly in THAT?
Louie the dog is a great story, I enjoyed that one a lot.
ReplyDeleteI love the idiot that shot his wiener off. That's poetic justice right there. I linked you to Silly Sunday.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. ☺
OMG some LOL there, for sure!
ReplyDeleteIllinois man reportedly shoots his own penis after stealing from a hot dog stand – Steal a wiener, lose a wiener.
ReplyDeleteGotta love that Old Testament style justice!
LOVED your feel good story (I was able to open it this week)!!
ReplyDeletePoor Matthew. I'll bet you are right. Loved the dog story.
ReplyDeleteFirst hand job experience? Ha! Love your comment.
ReplyDeleteLove the dog story..dogs are the best people I know! (you know what I mean..I hope) The 98yr old Mom headline reminded me of my dear Mom who wanted to come and be with me when I had my bilateral total knee replacement surgery. I said absolutely not..I didn't want my (at the time) 88yr old Mom sitting in the waiting room while I had that done...seriously, how embarrassing. Her knees are good and she's 91 now..show off.
ReplyDeleteSteal a wiener, lose a wiener. <-- Proof that your comments are sometimes funnier than the headline!
ReplyDelete