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Tuesday, November 7, 2017



Where has Cranky been these last several days?  What, no Stupid Headline Sunday? No Cranky Opinion Saturday?  Is everything all right you wonder?

Do not despair, I have been away with Mrs. C to my annual college fraternity reunion, this year in Daytona Beach Florida, hosted by Fast Freddie and the lovely Jazzy Janet.

Fast Freddie got his name because he drove 8 “brothers” home one night from the local watering hole in his fastback Corvette at about 70 MPH which, when half-in-the-bag on a country road, felt like 110 mph, all the while several fools under a pile of frightened fools kept yelling “Faster, Faster!”

Not our finest hour or Freddie’s most intelligent moment.  We only celebrate it today because we lived to meet every year, and not become an unfortunate statistic of exuberant college ignorance.  Freddie later became a dentist, where I assume he was “Steady Freddie” as his practice did quite well.

This is, I believe the 21st annual event, missing only 2001 because of the terrorist attack.  The first few events were mostly getting to know the other “Brother’s” wives and reliving those crazy days of college. Memories, which have become extra crazy, after fermenting in our brains for almost fifty years.* 

The early reunions had cases of beer to accommodate our college day preference.  Those cases went mostly untouched and reunions since have concentrated on various varieties of wine and soft drinks.

The crazy stories of old college days have slowly been replaced by crazy stories of past reunions.  These crazy stories are a bit more mellow than the college stories.

“Remember when Wally almost got drunk?  I swear I saw him stumble coming out of the restaurant after dinner at six o’clock.  He claims to this day he is just not used to having dinner at such a late hour.”

“Joe B went on a mud slide binge one year.  Frog gave a twenty-minute dissertation on the importance of the medieval plow, and Marty fell asleep during the Miami-Virginia Tech game.”

“How about when Gawk thought his wallet was in his back pocket when it was really in his front pocket?”

“What about when Squeak got pulled over by a cop for driving too slow in the left-hand lane?  He beat the ticket by showing the officer his Medicare card and asking, ‘Does this mean anything’?  Cop said. ‘It means go home old man and stay off my road!’

Oh, those crazy times.  Well, one-time Catfish lost a keeper bass, and Obner spilled wine on someone’s wife and did not even know it, or Buddy forgot his cell phone for five minutes, Vinnie almost raised his voice or…I could go on and on.  All these stories are pretty bland, but give them a few years and they will be outrageous legends.

Perhaps the best was being pulled over by the Coast Guard on Balla’s 26-foot craft on one of Pittsburg’s three rivers.  We had twelve people on board and only ten life jackets.   Balla hid Stanly behind a seat cushion and somehow managed to have the Coasties count one jacket twice.

One way or another these events are always great fun, even if they become a bit bland compared to the fermented stories of old.

Who knows what will become legan…wait for it…dary this year.  I heard a rumor that someone’s wife put butter in her coffee. 

Now, there is a story!

Next year, look out Virginia.

*Any story that starts, “We used to” maybe happened once.  


  1. I guess the days of swallowing goldfish and piling into a phone booth have to end sometime. Especially now that it's hard to find a phone booth, and the fish would probably exceed the recommended daily allowance of mercury or Fukushima radiation.

    Be sure to investigate that coffee butter rumor! Did she think it was something else? Did someone pull the old switcheroo on her? Did it start a fad like eating a Snickers with a knife and fork?

  2. Ahhh, reunions..the place where everyone says: "It's great to see you!" and my hubby always says: "It's better to be seen than viewed!"...yep, love reunions and love seeing all the folks that know the other side of you that others will never know or even understand! Hope it was fun!

  3. I think it's cool that you guys have done this for over 20 yrs. Here's to another 20+! :) - And yeah.. About that butter in the coffee thing.. I've heard of that butter coffee. Haven't tried it yet so I won't be too grossed out but it is supposed to be a healthy version of the "foo foo" coffees. I'll have to give it a try. - And yes. You were missed. :)

  4. Reunions are worth it, i'm glad you all lived to go to several and hope you will have several more.

  5. I LOVE your end note . . . pretty much the story of any reunion.

  6. We are planning our high school 50th reunion. Dang, there seems there were a bunch of old farts in my class :)

  7. Lol on the "We used to . . ."

    Sounds like fun!

  8. Your post reminds me that my fiftieth high school reunion is coming up in a few years. I've never been to one of my reunions and probably should consider attending.

  9. Goodness, I was just getting ready to start a "go fund me" for the ransom and here you were have a blast rehashing history. So glad you had such a fun time and hope next year will be just as fun.

  10. You also have a Fast Freddie"? All the best people do. Mine is an old friend (almost 30 years) from an old job and old softball teams.


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