Stupid Headlines 112617
It’s time again
for
The animals may want a second opinion
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider,
sometimes sophomoric comments.
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North Korea bans drinking, singing,
punishes officials for 'impure attitude' – Sound like a fun place. I’m pretty sure half the country is starving,
is not thinking about booze, and there is nothing to sing about. I really feel sorry for the officials, I
think ‘impure attitude’ means “Don’t ever
think about drinking or singing.”
Trump pardons Thanksgiving turkeys
Drumstick and Wishbone – This Fox News headline left out the full names of Boris Drumstick
Rustakov and Nikita Wishbone Yeltsanetskya.
Woman jailed after inmate boyfriend
dies of meth-laden kiss – Literally “The Kiss of Death.”
300 gallons of Vermont maple syrup
reportedly ruined by ‘disturbed individual’ with an ax – What ever they charge this guy with,
I’m sure it will stick!
Olive Garden fans to name baby after
the restaurant – Baby
will be called “ImitationItalianfood.”
Angry 'McDonald's nuggets' man
charged with DUI after ordering 200 hash browns – Who knew you couldn’t drive after
eating Mc D’s hash browns…what the hell kind of hash does Mc D’s use?
Rocket launch will prove Earth is
flat, California man says – Let’s see, you can fly east from New York and go to Tokyo, or
you can fly west from New York and go to Tokyo…Dude, it is not flat!
Philadelphia woman, 86, charged in
armed bank robbery – Woman
was caught fleeing 20 yards from the bank when a quick-thinking teller was able
to identify her walker.
Florida man tried to break into car filled
with cops – And this
is the State that determined our 43 President!
Budweiser sending barley to space in
hopes of learning how to brew beer on Mars – And I thought the flat Earth dude was nuts!
Battle erupts over control of Charles
Manson estate – What
kind of world do we live in that this piece of crap has anything to leave
anyone?
The Feel-good Story of
the week:
Man who saved 669 kids from Death
Gets a Tearful Surprise on TV. – I Facebook stumbled on this, it is an old story, but a good
one.
Come back again next week for more
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
You do realize that Yeltsanetski is Polish not Russian with that name, right? Polish names end with "ski" and Russian names end with "sky." A Polish friend once told me that Poles end their names with "ski" because it is faster to write out than "toboggan". (His joke, not mine.)
ReplyDeleteThat feel good story is wonderful, thank you.
The Charles Manson story really made my jaws clench. He should not have anything left. It makes you believe in karma when he tried to break into the cop's car.
ReplyDeleteIf the flat Earth guy happens to be from Houston, then his misunderstanding is, well, understandable. If I stay in the city for another year, I could very well stop believing in hills.
ReplyDeleteSaw on the news this morning that Manson's estate is worth about a quarter of a million...
ReplyDeleteMy estate is worth about a quarter, what's wrong with this picture?
I would have put Manson in the feel good column just because he died. Just saying.
ReplyDeleteI linked this post to Silly Sunday, as always.
Have a fabulous day. ☺
That's where the Philadelphia bank robber lady went wrong. She should have used a Rascal for her low-speed getaway instead of the walker.
ReplyDeleteEighty six year old bank robber? Hum, guess it is never too late for me to think about a career change.
ReplyDeleteObviously, McD's is using Turkish hash. . .
ReplyDeleteAnd. . . passing meth to your boyfriend in a kiss. . . you can't make this stuff up. . .
Love the headlines post every week, but this was one of your best!!
ReplyDeleteFeel good headline indeed.
ReplyDeleteI try to steer clear of Micky "D's" if at all possible.
ReplyDeleteR
I love my Florida time so I always wish I wouldn't laugh at your comments. It's a sad laugh though because I know you din't make those headlines up.
ReplyDelete"Rocket launch will prove Earth is flat" So maybe the world is both flat and round, like a dinner plate. Think about it. Hahaha!
ReplyDeleteOlive Garden fans to name baby after the restaurant... that is an old story, Joe. My granddaughter is five years old!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sayin' nuth'n about Florida...
Fun post Joe!
ReplyDeleteImpure or any kind of attitude cannot be banned like air , no matter how tight the doors and windows are closed it makes it's way to the room