NEW AND IMPROVED

This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Monday, May 8, 2017

Mothballs


Mothballs

The cranky old man who writes this blog often complains a lot.  He complains about his dessert hiding wife, he complains about TV low talkers, he complains about women in the supermarket, he even complains about natures creations like crap bombing birds and eave squatting squirrels.  Today, he…oh hell with this third person stuff; I have something nice to say.

I have to give a shout-out to workers at Lowes.  Lowes is a gigantic chain of hardware, paint, landscaping…pretty much anything to do with your home, retail store. 

Lowes is huge.  If an item is in your home or you wish it was in your home, Lowes has it.  There are at least 100 aisles in the store that are 25 yards long or longer lined with 10 foot high shelves.  I will guess Lowes sells approximately 27 bazillion different products. 

Often when I shop at Lowes I am in no hurry.  I like to browse every aisle looking for neat new gadgets or drooling over stuff I wish I could afford or have a house or yard big enough to justify purchasing one of their many “toys.”  A man shopping at Lowes is much like a woman shopping in Nordstrom’s.  There are times, however when I just want to get in and out quickly. 

The workers at Lowes somehow know where every one of the 27 bazillion products can be found.  It is uncanny.  If I were to work in this store for ten years, and go home every night to study where their inventory is located, I probably would not know where to find more than 11 bazillion items.

Some items are reasonably easy to find.  There is a paint section, a tool section, lumber, appliances, garden and so on.  Finding the section is not too hard, but the specific aisle in a section?

The other day I needed mothballs as a squirrel deterrent*.  I did not have time to browse and search.  Mothballs could be in a housewares section  or the garden section or even a miscellaneous section.  To save time I asked a Lowes worker.

Not to be mean, but I am assuming Lowes workers are not highly paid.    I believe most positions have full benefits and are above minimum wage, but point being, I would not expect a lot of their workers to have the same incentive, work ethic, or degree of professionalism as say a lawyer, or teacher, or trades person. 

The Lowes professional I approached was elderly, short, and did not have a full set of teeth; to be totally cruel, at first glance he appeared a bit dimwitted.

“Excuse me sir, do you have mothballs?”

“I may be old and short, but my nuts are normal sized! However if you want a critter deterrent try garden section, aisle 44 bin EE.”

I near wet my pants.  We both had a good laugh. 

Dude knew his stuff and had a quick wit to boot.

I found mothballs in the garden section, aisle 44 bin EE and was out of this giant store in under five minutes.

This is not the first time for me at Lowes, their workers are always helpful in what to buy, where to find it, how to solve a problem, or how to best use one of their products.

So, a big shout-out to the workers at Lowes, I don’t know what they pay you or what benefits you get, but it should be more. 

*As several readers suggested, Meryl the squirrel did return.  He ripped away the metal blockade, but the mothballs were not to his liking and he did not take up residence.  I have since thrown in more mothballs and sealed the hole a bit more securely.   I think he has finally given up. 

26 comments:

  1. Home Depot, just like Lowes, is where we usually shop. I make it a point to ask the greeter at the door where an item is that we are looking for (even if I know where it is at) just to "test" them and also to make them feel like they are providing a much needed service. Here minimum wage is now $10 an hour. I would bet a lot of the employees are at that, at least to start out.

    betty

    ReplyDelete
  2. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Omgosh, my non-fancy black coffee almost shot out of my nose! "Do you have mothballs??" I am SO asking a Lowe's employee that one day. Hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Maybe on your next visit, you can find that same guy, and ask him if his refrigerator is running.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I do love an assistant with a sense of humor. Of course the customer needs one too or the jokes just fall flat and everyone is uncomfortable.

    ReplyDelete
  5. There is a store like that where I live. What I can't understand is: how many customers can reach the top shelf or even see what;s up there?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. top shelves usually carry extra stock to refill empty spaces on lower shelves, same as in supermarkets. Stock boys do the refilling from one of those tall ladders on wheels. Well, that's here in Australia, I don't know about America.

      Delete
  6. That is funny. Did the mothballs work to keepo squirrels away?
    But that store creeps me out. I feel like I'm lost in a corn maze is
    Iowa.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lost in a maze is how I feel in an Ikea store.

      Delete
  7. Heeheehee! That guy should do stand up comedy.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I think you need to know your audience as I don't see that joke going over well with some women! Lol

    ReplyDelete
  9. Wish I could find some mothballs. I want them to keep the mice out of the kitchen in France but no shop sells them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. perhaps they're called something else, look for camphor or similar.

      Delete
  10. I use a small hardware store where they seem to understand the hand signals and non-specific vocabulary I am forced to use regarding all things hardware even though they seem to think it is "cute" that a little old lady walks into a hardware store.

    ReplyDelete
  11. It seems to me that most hardware stores have a logical system for stocking and displaying their wares. The only reason I would wander around, was to see the new gadgets. I like the big, big stores like Lowe's.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Gotta love Lowes and old people.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I must look incredibly lost and confused every time I walk into Lowes or Home Cheapo because the second I enter the store, at least two employees come running over to help me...

    ReplyDelete
  14. I don't have a Lowe's nearby and usually go to Home Depot, where I'm always ignored when trying to find help. An Orchard Supply Center just opened near us and they offer much better customer service.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Lowe's is hit and miss here as far as customer service. Sometimes it's good and sometimes it's non-existent. Oh well. I'm glad you had a good experience. I'm also glad the mothballs are working on that squirrel. He'll probably find a home next door and that's probably okay with you.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  16. Well, I laughed out before 10 a.m. That means this was a funny, I-can-relate post! Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Home Depot is a lot like your Lowes and I've had folks there go out of their way to help an old lady with whire hair......never had oee with quite that sense of humour though. You found a gem.

    ReplyDelete
  18. reminds me of a joke my mom used to tell when she was drunk at parties:

    Man walks into a pharmacy and asks, "Do you have cotton balls?" and clerk said, "What do you think I am, a teddy bear?"

    I know I know, corny but it was always funny when my mom told it. (Of course this was back when we all were not as sophisticated in our joke-telling)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Now that was funny. I probably wouldn't get the same response though I may just try and I don't even need them.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Love that old geezer at Lowe's!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Congrats on finding someone who knows their stuff and has a sense of humor too, we need more folks like this.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I snorted coffee out my nose when I read this one. I LOVE Lowe's. In fact I have a Lowe's card and they give veteran
    S a discount.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Yeay for employees with a sense of humor!

    ReplyDelete

I love comments, especially some of my commenters are funny as heck!

Oh, and don't be shy, Never miss a Cranky Post.

Sign up for an email of every post...over there...on your right...go on!