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Saturday, May 28, 2016

STUPID HEADLINES 052916


STUPID HEADLINES 052916

It is time again for
Please keep Anthony Weiner off the controls!
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY


This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.  

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The Fed has a chatterbox problem – So this is why Stephen Hayes suddenly went on a trip.

West Virginia officer arrested after having sex with a woman – I’ve heard some strange things about West Virginia, but I cannot believe it is illegal to have sex with a woman.

Medical experts warn of ‘dormant butt syndrome’ – Especially dangerous when it begins to rumble.
Pennsylvania man poured gasoline on smoking girlfriend – It is unclear if she was smoking, or smoking-hot, if she was smoking then she was both.
Living in a Town of Two – Two residents in Minowi Nebraska, town is facing it’s 27th run-off in the last mayoral election.  

Ironman sets world record after pulling double-decker bus with his hair – I got nothing.
Man attacked by snake that slithered up through his toilet – Go ahead, admit it, don't you look first for just this reason?

As Oberlin College activism flared, students pushed to banish grades below 'C' – Dang, if they did this when I was in school would have no grades at all.
Why Did Woman With The Giant Inflatable Penis Cross The Road? – Her friend Alice was on the other side and she wanted to see Alice.

96-year-old Heimlich uses namesake maneuver on choking woman – Woman was glad 96 year old was not named Naval.

Pakistani men can beat wives 'lightly,' Islamic council says - "A husband should be allowed to lightly beat his wife if she defies his commands and refuses to dress up as per his desires; turns down demand of intercourse without any religious excuse or does not take bath after intercourse or menstrual periods,"

I wonder what they consider “Lightly.”

Holy Cow! Runaway Bovine Drops From Sky, Damages House – After this, the homeowner says they plan…(should I? I’m sorry, I have to do it) to moo-ve.

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Come back next week for more

STUPID HEADLINES

Follow up to Ralph the Tomato…RIP Ralph
Mrs. C claims I didn’t follow directions, she will be trying a do over with Ralph II…stay tuned.

14 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. He said something about going to look for his keys

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  2. have a pleasant fine day Joe

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am now goiong to google "dormant butt syndrome." I'm willing to bet you have just created yet another worry for me.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Now i want to waste some time looking up small towns and what's going on in them. Good luck with the new tomato plant.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I can see why the cop got arrested. You can't do bribes. You just can't.

    I linked you to Silly Sunday as always.

    Poor Ralph. He didn't last long at all. Let's see if your wife can to better.

    Have a fabulous day Cranky. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  6. I can maim that plant in three days. Joe can maim it in two. OK Joe, Maim That Plant!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'll probably run into Nasreen over at Google. Dormant butt syndrome really has me curious too.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I want to see the insurance adjuster's report on that last headline!

    Good luck to Mrs. C with Ralph II!

    ReplyDelete
  9. That Mars Rover is not a very good penis-drawer! I've got a better likeness from the road peen that's been on the county highway down by my mailbox for three months.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not that I'm an authority on penis art, of course...

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  10. I'm responsible for many things, but I'm not responsible for the Fed's chatterbox problem. I've enjoyed your posts while on vacation. Mrs. C. and I began our mornings with coffee and your blog.

    ReplyDelete

I love comments, especially some of my commenters are funny as heck!

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