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Monday, May 23, 2016

I Screwed Up Again


I Screwed Up Again


Mrs. C got home from work early tonight.  She came in the door and then hollered up the stairs.

“JOSEPH!”

Full name…not good.

Immediately my mind started whirling, what did I do?

Inside the balloon over my head

Hmm…I did have a cigar and a glass of wine before dinner, but I smoked outside, sprayed Febreze around the deck and put the wine bottle away.  I know I closed and locked the patio door.  I was in the basement, but am positive I turned off the gas heater and shut out all the lights.  I did a load of laundry and have not yet put it in the dryer…no, that can’t be it.  I unloaded the dishwasher, loaded it with my dinner dish, and cleaned the sink.  I have no idea.

OK, here goes.

“WHAT?”

“WHY DID YOU PUT AWAY MY DISH AND FORK AND THROW AWAY THE ALUMINUM FOIL!!?”

Mrs. Cranky had a slice of pizza before work and was going to have the last slice of yesterday’s pie when she came home from work.

“BECAUSE IT WAS DIRTY AND USED!”

“WELL I WAS NOT THROUGH WITH THEM!!”

“SORRY, USE A NEW DISH AND A NEW PIECE OF FOIL; I’LL PAY FOR IT OUT OF MY OWN MONEY!”

You’ll never guess what she called me.

19 comments:

  1. Thinking...thinking....ummm..Jerk? :)

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  2. Thinking starts with a "j" and ends with rhyming to work?

    betty

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  3. Thoughtful - yep, I'm almost sure she called you thoughtful ...

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  4. Gosh, my brain can't cope with such posers. Maybe the answer will come to me when I've had a nap.

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  5. You can't make this stuff up--can you?

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  6. You win a few and you seem to lose a lot.

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  7. You two are so funny. Surely "Jerk" is on your driver's license. Maybe as a middle name?

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  8. She called you a jerk didn't she. I knew it. You get in trouble for doing good? I don't get that and I'm guessing you don't either.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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    Replies
    1. Yes, JERK is correct, and it is so much better than the previous wife who would call me a "Dumb Fucking jerk-off asshole!!" Whenever her mental disability decided to kick in...which was at least three times a month. Once a month was a guarantee.

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  9. Damned if you do , damned if you don't.

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  10. Maybe the underlying problem was that cigar. :D Well at least you get a fresh blog post out of the situation!

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  11. May be if she sees a bug, she will not leave the used plates and the fork and or knife out. LOL

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  12. Maybe you need to set up a "wash it now" pile and a "don't touch it" pile.

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  13. I guess the secret is to never touch anything that is hers.

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  14. She should have put a towel over it so you wouldn't look.

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  15. oh God what i should say about it ? let me think,

    in here wives don't usually express their feelings so openly Joe

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