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Friday, July 3, 2015

THE CHAMPAGNE OF BOTTLED BEER


THE CHAMPAGNE OF BOTTLED BEER
 

I am not a beer lover, so I am clearly not qualified to discuss the subject of beer.  Still, I have never let lack of expertise get in the way of my opinions.  I do enjoy an occasional beer especially on a very hot day after working in the yard…ok, playing a round of golf.

My beer of choice?  Miller High Life, because it is the champagne of bottled beer.  Also because as a young lad my mom had one beer every day.  Every day at five o’clock she had a can of Miller High Life.  She referred to it surprisingly enough as her Five o’clock beer.  When five o’clock rolled around, it was a young Cranky who was asked to fetch the High Life.  As payment for the beer fetching, I was allowed one sip (gulp) of the five o’clock beer.  Anyone will tell you, the best part of any beer is always that first sip and so it is that taste, the first sip taste of Miller High Life that was seared into my taste bud memory.  Any other beer is just not the same.

What has inspired this beer post?  They do not serve Miller High Life in most bars and restaurants. 

Oh no they do not!  They all serve Miller Lite…eeech.  Light beers are like water.  They serve fifteen zillion imported beers, including several from Mexico.  Mexico!  Famous for water that makes you shit for days.  It is easy to find Mexican beer, Mexican beer that is brewed with Mexican water that will make you shit for days is served in every bar and restaurant in the country, but no Miller High Life.

There are craft beers sold all over, pumpkin beer, lime beer, wheat beer, beer with cute names like “Old Rotten Turtle Beer,” and “Shark’s Tooth Ale.”  There must be over 1000 different beers sold in this country, most sold in every bar and restaurant, but you cannot buy Miller High Life.

At one time this country had a brewery in almost every town and three or four beers sold nationwide.   There was Budweiser, Miller, Schlitz…and maybe Pabst Blue ribbon.  If you went to any bar or restaurant in the nation and ordered beer your choice was the local brewery beer, Bud, Miller, Schlitz or Pabst.

Now you cannot buy Miller High Life at any bar or restaurant.

You can buy Stella Artois which I found tastes exactly like Miller High Life, but it costs almost twice as much.  

There are a multitude of problems in this country; immigration, taxes, terrorism, crime, prejudice, the economy…

If you want my vote for President, promise me Miller High Life in every bar and restaurant.

I want a burger, fries, and “The Champaign of Bottled Beer!”
 
Cranky Old Man was not compensated in any way for this post...I will re-run it for a case if Miller's is interested.

17 comments:

  1. See, we here in England are real beer snobs and we would consider that to be a lager - it's not beer unless it turns your hair green and its been fermented through the stomach of a rancid old rat or something ...

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  2. Hubby will agree with you on this beer. It's his favorite beer. He rarely has one anymore, but that's his first choice.

    Have a fabulous day Joe. ☺

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  3. The Miller Brewing folks kinda let that one fall by the wayside.
    But then that's what happens when a company from South Africa controls things.

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  4. My Dad did not drink a lot of beer, but when he did drink it was Schaeffer. It is sadly no longer available. I had a somewhat similar reason for liking it as you do Miller High Life. It was the first beer I snuck. I stole one from a six-pack sitting on our basement stairs (for some reason, that's where My Dad stored it - perhaps because it was cooler than the rest of the house?) Anyway, I drank it - warm... And, of course, My Dad asked me why there were only five beers in his six-pack. D'Oh! What could have possessed me to think he wouldn't notice it missing? But it is still a taste I would like to once again taste, but probably never will.

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    1. Heh, my dad used to keep about a case-worth of beer on the bottom shelf of the fridge, so I thought he'd never miss one when I swiped it. Sure enough, when he came home that night, he counted 'em - twice - then asked my mom if she'd had a beer that day. She said she hadn't, she didn't even like beer. Then he turned to my brother, who was more, uh, rebellious than I was and asked him if he'd swiped one of his beers. My brother said no, he knew he had 'em counted, and if he really wanted a beer, he had other ways to get one. I was sweating that he was gonna ask me next, but he just looked at me kinda funny, and let it pass. Such is the power of a well-crafted filial reputation, I suppose. . .

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  5. How cute you were able to get a sip of the beer you brought your mom. I didn't realize you couldn't find it any more at the store. I'm not a beer drinker, but son is; I would enjoy a sip of the ones he brought home; you are right, wide variety of them out there to choose from. I do like a cold beer on a hot day though.

    betty

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  6. I don't like American beers--they leave a bad taste in my mouth, but I loved the beer in Germany!!

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  7. A bit of a defense of Mexican beer. The recipes and techniques were brought to Mexico by German immigrants and some of the best beers in the world are now Mexican beers. "I don't drink beer often but when I do . . . I drink Dos Equis." Until craft beers became widely brewed in America, most beers from the U.S.A. were simply badly tainted water, including my old favorite Budweiser.

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  8. I don't think I've had a Miller anything since college. I admit to loving those pumpkin ales and grapefruit shandys now.

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  9. What about Blatz or (Carling) Black Label, or Goebel (does anyone else remember Brewster, the Goebel Rooster?) Around these parts, we used to have Stroh's, but that's gone now. . .

    Lately, I'm enjoying some of the many fine micro-brews available in Michigan (I lean toward the pale ales), and some of the hard ciders. . .

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  10. I suppose your sweet, sweet nectar, Miller High Life, has been replaced by that other Miller staple, Milwaukee's Best, aka "The Beast."

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  11. My last beer was too long ago to remember but I am almost sorry I don't drink today for I would like to try the novel beers and micro-brews out there.

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  12. As you know I don't drink beer, but my dad loved Hamms and I get nostalgic when I think of him with an ice cold can of the suds in his hand. Happy 4th to you and your family.

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  13. Beer is not my thing, and Sweetie drinks one glass of red wine with dinner every night on doctor's orders. If you say Miller High Life is a good beer, i'll believe you!

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  14. I hope Miller reads this and sends you a beer. Or a dozen.
    How many is in a case?

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  15. I don't drink beer and I'm gradually going off wine but neither has a taste I'd jump through hoops for. It must be my age!

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