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Sunday, June 14, 2015

STUPID HEADLINES 061415


STUPID HEADLINES 061415
It’s time again for
You might want to filter it first.
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY*
Whoops, skipped a week…Gone Fishing

 
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.

One headline may be fake.  Guess the fake and win a mention and a WHOOP-TEE-DOO.  None of the above may be a correct answer.

 
Comment moderation is on for one day.

 
_______________________________

 Nicki Minaj Says Women Deserve Better Orgasms and Better Pay – Why should they have to pay for better orgasms…that’s just wrong.

German police alerted to armed mob, find asparagus pickers – Turns out you need arms to pick asparagus.

Driver cited after being stopped with car full of honeybees – I guess he was charged with “Buzzed Driving.”

Spanish Police Seize Hundreds Of Pounds Of Cocaine Hidden In Pineapples – Now that is a “Pineapple Express.”

Inventor Gets Shot In Groin To Test Bulletproof Jockstrap – That is the very definition of a pass/fail test.

NRA unhappy with Obama over new rules to keep guns out of hands of mentally ill, domestic abusers – The President needs to think twice or the Democrats are going to lose the votes of all those mentally ill domestic abusers.

Google and Levi’s are teaming up to make computerized pants – Control+Alt+Delete…Whoops!

New York man says fortune teller scammed him out of a fortune, paid her more than $700G – My crystal ball says you’re an idiot…give me money.

Malaysian official blames deadly earthquake on mountain climbers who posed naked – Imagine the devastation if they were naked and mounting on the mountain.

New York man arrested for shooting bald eagle claims he thought it was a turkey – Well there may have been some Wild Turkey involved.

Woman claims she owns the sun – Talk about your hot properties!

Hillary embraces union that spurned her in ’08- Bill didn’t…never mind, too easy.

Man sues Chinese actress over her intense stare in TV show – If no like looky, why you watchy?

Alaskan senator wants to rename America's tallest mountain – I think the Senator should mind his own business and leave Shaquille alone.

Man arrested after using pizza as a weapon – “Give me all your money unless you want to be sliced.”

Amphibious pitcher makes debut – Amazing. Yogi Berra working as a newspaper editor at age 90.

Scientists find a whale inside a whale that was eaten by a shark – Were these scientists Russian?

Last week’s fake was:

Airline experimenting with reduced rate cramped seating for small passengers – Will we be flying coach, first class, or little ass today?

AND THE WINNERS:


The airline discounting small passengers must be fake.
Isn't it the opposite? Seats are getting bigger since we're a bunch of fatties?

Visit Susie @ http://peakedinjuniorhigh.blogspot.com/ if she peaked in Jr. High she must have been really special!

Val

Wait. I'm thinking about last week. Nine brains found beside New York train tracks? I guess somebody at the Nigerian restaurant is going hungry!

THAT'S NOT MY PICK!

I'm taking the Airlines Reduced Rates For Cramped Seating as fake. I can't imagine an airline reducing rates. Charging extra for fatasses, yes, but not charging less for flatasses.

Why can’t teachers every give short answers?  Visit Val @ http://unbaggingthecats.blogspot.com/ for a unique slant on everything.

J

I'll say the skinny airline seats - and it just occurred to me that since I'm (once again) a loser - that last week's "human flesh" guess was actually true - omg I want to throw up!

Always good Grandma stuff @ http://www.whathappensatgrandmas.com/ Is it just me getting old, or are Grandmas getting hotter?


Airline experimenting with reduced rate cramped seating for small passengers is my pick. They will charge more for obese folks, but they will never drop the rate for everyone else. Never.

For a daily laugh go to @ http://comedyplus.blogspot.com/ always good stuff.
*Thanks to TexWisGrl @ http://run-a-roundranch.blogspot.com/ for a stupid headline submission

Go congratulate all the winners, and come back next week for more

 

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!

11 comments:

  1. I was hoping it would be the whale/whale/shark one so I could make a turducken joke but I think it's the bald eagle. Did you know they taste like chicken?

    ReplyDelete
  2. gonna pick 'smart pants' please.

    i thought the whale/shark turducken was pretty awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am voting that: 'Inventor Gets Shot In Groin To Test Bulletproof Jockstrap – That is the very definition of a pass/fail test' is a fake. I can't imagine that anyone would volunteer to be shot in the groin for any reason.

    But then -- I am assuming a reasonable, rational person. Hmmm -- aw hell, I'll stick with my pick.

    ReplyDelete
  4. If the water can kill the fish, how can one drink it?
    Probably this is a stupid comment too.....

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ambidextrous pitcher, perhaps?

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am going with none of the above this week.

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  7. My pick this week is the test for the bulletproof jockstrap...who would want to take this kind of chance?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Computerized pants? You're pulling my leg, or will the computer do tat for me, too?

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'll take the Fortune Teller as fake. $700G is a lot of money to throw away on a fortune teller, when you could be spending it on scratch-off tickets and gas station chicken.

    Those crazy Russians! Is a Turducken not good enough for them?

    ReplyDelete
  10. New York man arrested for shooting bald eagle claims he thought it was a turkey is my pick. That would be all over the news if true. Well maybe.

    Have a fabulous day Cranky. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  11. How about the woman who claims she owns the sun? I'll take that one - and omg, the funnies attached just get better and better every week!

    ReplyDelete

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