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Wednesday, February 13, 2013

I Hate Valentine’s Day


I Hate Valentine’s Day
 
I hate Valentine’s Day.

I do not look forward to Valentine’s Day.   Valentine’s Day is promoted by Hallmark, chocolate makers and florists all over the world. It has essentially become a woman’s competition.  It is a competition for who has the best husband/boyfriend.

Your significant other may tell you, “All I want is a card” but don’t believe it.  If all she gets is a card, you will hear that her friend Sally received a card and flowers from her boyfriend.

If you give her a card, buy flowers and a box of chocolate you will hear about how her friend Donna got a card, flowers, a box of chocolate and an interlocking heart pendant from her husband which was given to her as a surprise in a glass of Champaign.   

Give her a card, buy flowers, a box of chocolate and an expensive trinket delivered over a bottle of wine ordered at “Resturante Expensivo,” and you find out your brother-in-law gave his wife a card, flowers, a box of chocolate and a pair of diamond earrings which were hidden in an envelope containing two tickets to Hawaii which he slipped under her plate of Filet Mignon while dining at the most expensive restaurant in town.

After three years in a row of coming in last in the “who has the best boyfriend contest” that we know as Valentine’s Day, you decide to pull out all the stops.  You give her a sensitive Hallmark card, flowers and a box of chocolate.  You take her out to dinner at the best restaurant in the state.  The waiter delivers a bottle of her favorite wine which has an emerald ring (her favorite gem) around the bottles neck.  Dinner arrives with the tickets to a fabulous vacation under the plate and the waitress is wearing a beautiful mink coat which you explain, “She is only modeling, as it is for you my beautiful wife…HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!

“Are you kidding me?  How are we going to pay for all this you jerk?  I told you all I really wanted was a card!”

I hate Valentine’s Day.



Nevertheless, Happy Valentine's Day all you ladies!   

14 comments:

  1. Tell me about it! I once stuck one of those double-sided tape bows on my forehead and told my wife, "Happy Valentine's Day babe".

    Bad mistake.

    S

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  2. Of all the holidays I hate this one the most. So much pressure. After forty years what am I supposed to give her? Last year we were having a serious discussion about something and I told her she was right and I was wrong. You'd have thought I'd given her the Hope diamond. Maybe I'll try that again this year.

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  3. What I hate is that all the holidays have become about spending money

    Shouldn't be about spending time?

    I mean... like using our time wisely to show how we care

    It seems like we have developed a system for making a mad dash to the next holiday and going broke in the process

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  4. Not all of us are that way :) I think cards are most of the time a terrific waste of money. Don't buy me a card, just give me the $4.50 you would have spent on it!

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  5. This was the perfect description of why the "Valentine game" is so wrong... you really can't win now matter how you play it! I've already said my piece on it for my Two Shoes Tuesday post, but I might add that I believe the best way to get what you really want from someone in a relationship is to tell them straight out and straight up honestly, now games, no guessing, no "but I thought you knew I really didn't mean that" crap. I don't want or need to be wined and dined, I want to share all the stars in the sky with my husband, as we soak in the hot tub in the cold night air... maybe with a nice tumbler full of Wild Turkey American Honey to keep us warm on the inside! :-)

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  6. You can't give her a mink coat--what would the PETA people say??

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  7. Well, I pretty much agree with you, but add getting through it when your last name is Valentine...all that competition with lots of clever comments from strangers.

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  8. Yep it is one big ol Hallmark holiday of crap. Today I went to the grocery store and almost got side swiped with the 900 flower arrangements they decided to place around the registers. Oh Lord what every happened to treating your mate like gold everyday. Why do we need a holiday to say how much we love our spouses.

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  9. Wait a minute. You mean my husband is supposed to give me nice things on Valentine's Day?!!

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  10. Cranky hates Valentine's Day?! Pick me up off the floor!!

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  11. Hubby and I felt similar after about three Valentines together. It had stopped being fun.
    Then one of our cats died on Feb 14th, and since then he has never failed to send me a remembrance message for Fruitcake's passing.

    Much more personal!

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  12. My poor husband. This week we celebrate my birthday, Valentine's Day, and our son's birthday. It's worse than Christmas for him. Because at Christmas, I do all the gift-giving.

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  13. I was going to tell you what I did today but I think it deserves its own post - I can safely say it was a unique way to spend valentines day ...

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  14. you did fine. i loved the card but a new necklace would have been nice ... ; - )

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