THIS CORPORATION HAS
GONE TOO FAR
I am not
generally an angry person. I may be
cranky about a lot of things, but I am not often driven off the edge and into
the abyss of disgust and rage. But I can
only be pushed so far. A corporation has
done it and I am angry.
Is it Monsanto
and their Frankenfoods that threaten the very existence of the human race? Naw, I’m OK with them. Is it the oil industry and their control of
oil prices that destroy our economy?
Does fracking and the potential of a contaminated water table and destructive
earthquakes get my lather up? No, I
believe the experts, it’s all fine. Does
the war mongering defense industry and their made up global threats for the
sake of profit set me off. Not
really.
But one
company has finally done it and I am angry.
What kind of
corporation would turn husband against wife?
Why would any organization purposefully deceive people and ruin
relationships for their own amusement?
What has got
Cranky incensed?
In a recent
post I spoke of my difficulty opening packages and the resultant argument it
started with Mrs. Cranky:
You don’t
have to read it, in summary, I opened a package of Little Bites Muffins with
scissors because I could not open them by tearing where the package says to
tear them. Mrs. Cranky thought using
scissors was wrong and that I should follow the directions. We spent fifteen minutes of marital discord
all because of the Little Bites package deception. I now find out the reason for my problem. Apparently women know the secret but will not
share it. They prefer to mock husbands,
and the corporation that packages Little Bites is only too happy to continue
the charade.
DAMN YOU Entenmann’s!
Look at the
package. See where their instructions
tell you to tear? Try as hard as you
want, the package will not open if ripped on the arrows. The correct spot to tear the Little Bites is
three quarters of an inch to the right. My wife knows
this, but she wouldn’t tell me. I
discovered the secret by accident.
I plan to
expose all these man hating corporations.
Grrrrrr.
I appreciate your sacrifice, Joe! And, I hope to learn and not repeat your mistake. Haha. Enjoy your Tuesday.
ReplyDeleteAha! Now we know. But I'll stick with using scissors. I like a nice clean cut.
ReplyDeleteArrowroot Biscuits employ the same deception as well as many other products I come across on a weekly basis. Yes, stick to scissors.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know that. Thanks. Why not just open them any way you want and eat them all? Then destroy the evidence...er...package, so she doesn't know. Screw your waistline. :)
ReplyDeleteOh, and I call that my "Packaging Hall of Shame". I also have a "Packaging Hall of Fame".
ReplyDeleteAnd if you naively hand these bags out to grandkids like I once did, one hearty yank will send dozens of "little bites" flying all over the place - much to the delight of the dog! Decided right then it is easier, healthier, and less expensive to make mini muffins ourselves - and I've never looked back!
ReplyDeleteBut I do admire your unselfish tenacity in pursuit of making this a better world for other hapless husbands!
I believe the packaging is made inaccessible on purpose. As there is no food value in the contents, the corporation is salving their conscience by making it inaccessible.
ReplyDeletehaha.
ReplyDeleteYou could be a hero for lots of men as you uncover the deep dark secrets of package opening :)
ReplyDeleteNo matter how easy it might be to open, I still prefer scissors myself :)
betty
Bwahahahahahahaha. Hubby and I just laugh about this anymore. We think it has more to do with age than anything else, but that's an entirely different post.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. ☺
I'm a scissors person myself. I really don't want to waste any energy, you know.
ReplyDeleteThe list of packages I can't open is a long one.
ReplyDeleteYou could resurrect that 1980s rumor that Entenmanns is run by Mormons!
Speaking as a woman, I think they are not just man-hating corporations, they are people-hating. My eyesight isn't what it used to be, especially in the evenings when I have these nosh attacks, and I can't figure out half of the packaging. Don't even get me started on the cellophane wrappers around gum. Finding the end of that tear strip is sooo frustrating.
ReplyDeleteGrrr, indeed. One thing i haven't been able to convince the men at church of is that the packets of ground coffee can be opened without using their teeth to do it. No amount of showing them the right spot at which to tear helps. That's why i get there early on Friday and make the coffee myself!
ReplyDeleteI've found that using a clothespin and folding over the top of the opened package covers a multitude of transgressions.
ReplyDeleteThose stupid yogurt tubes are the worst!!!
ReplyDeleteWe use scissors in the school cafe. They probably have botulism on them.
Not all packages are created equal. Some I wiz open with not problem and a simple tear, others flat out require scissors. Probably ought to go with the scissors in the first place. At least you solved the puzzle.
ReplyDeleteI cannot believe the stunning amount of people who can find the scissors with such ease, right where they left them! Must not have a college boy living in your house.
ReplyDeleteSadly, your lesson is lost on me. I don't bother with little bites. Everything I eat is extra large, full serving, big bites. Larger packages are easier than those little things of little bites!
ReplyDelete