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Sunday, August 31, 2014

STUPID HEADLINES 083114


STUPID HEADLINES 083114

It is time once again for
Don't you just hate when that happens?
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

 
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.

 
One headline may be completely made up, guess the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-doo.  'None of the above' may be a correct answer.

 
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Lesbians Outdo Straight Women on Orgasms – Sure, but are they counting quantity, or speed?

Rare creature shocks neighbors – It was early morning, I didn’t think anyone was up yet.

United Airlines seat recliner scrum leads to early landing – That friggin guy sits in front of me on every flight!

Justin Bieber Under Investigation For Attempted Robbery – Concert goers file complaint after performance.

Southwest Airlines apologizes after losing elderly woman – Hey, it happens!

WHO shuts Sierra Leone lab after worker infected with Ebola – What? I don’t know.  Third base!

One in three Mexicans want to migrate to the US – The other two are already here.

Researchers tripping seniors on purpose to stop future falls – Sure, if you cripple them now they won’t be able to fall later.

Benihana sued by woman who claims improperly prepared fish made her ill – This is too easy… “She sues over sushi!”

Chelsea Clinton leaving NBC News role – This is the first I’ve heard that she had a role…Apparently $600,000 per year since 2011…pretty good gig I’d say.

Rep. Peter King slams Obama for tan suit. Hmmm the economy, Ukraine, Gaza, ISIS, Illegal immigration…fuck that, did you see what the President was wearing?

Woman Discovers Her Cat Is Cheating On HerAlso too easy and sadly groan worthy, but here it comes…you knew it would… “What, the cat is a Cheetah?”

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Last week’s fake headline was:

Man gives up smoking for a year to win $1000 bet, celebrates by buying a pack and lighting up – I’m guessing he may have cheated just a little.

And the winners are:


I thought about you when I read about the 101 year old man working in New Jersey.
Anyway, I'm going with the smoker who quit--not. I once quit smoking so my boss would give me a raise. Then I lit up again. No logical connection here,  I'm just guessing the bet had some built in's.

Joanne is almost as hard to fool as Sandee.  Visit Joanne for Photos, stories and just plain interesting stuff…no, really, check out her posts @ http://cuponthebus.blogspot.com/


There are two that could be wrong. The flying microwave and the stop smoking one. So, I'll guess the Man gives up smoking for a year to win $1000 bet, celebrates by buying a pack and lighting up.

Have a fabulous Silly Sunday. :)

This is getting ridiculous; I may have to suspend Sandee for winning too often and for accurately analyzing her answers in her comment. Oh well, she does have funny stuff @ http://comedyplus.blogspot.com/ and don’t miss her “Silly Sunday” blog hop.

 

VISIT AND CONGRATULATE THE WINNERS, AND COME BACK NEXT WEEK FOR MORE

 

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!

18 comments:

  1. Would you like me to pass this week? Not going to happen.

    My pick this week is...Benihana sued by woman who claims improperly prepared fish made her ill.

    Have a fabulous Silly Sunday Joe. ☺

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  2. going for cheating cat. it was a toss-up between first and last, i have to tell you... and i won't go there about the connection.

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  3. I dread to think where the dildo came from LOL

    I am also gonna go for Benihana sued by woman who claims improperly prepared fish made her ill

    I can see that happening heheh!

    Have a sextoytastic week ;-)

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  4. Researchers tripping seniors? Sounds bogus to me.

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  5. I know the tripping one is true because they asked me to volunteer for the test group.
    It's gotta be the cat one. The cheating would eat it first...:)

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  6. Even for $1,000, my husband wouldn't give up smoking!

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  7. They all sound like something I might have come across in the past couple of weeks. I don't know. This is a guess. I'm guessing you made an amazing pun with sues and sushi in it...but I may be wrong...I would have given her the name "Sue" if I were doing that...so...that thing about lesbians...really? hmmmmmm. No, I'm going with the sushi. Yeah.

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  8. I am joining the crowd and go with "Woman Discovers Her Cat Is Cheating On Her, " Cats cheat on everyone.

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  9. Hey, darling....I still manage to read you with my one working eye and love you as much as ever even if I don't comment and rrely play the Sunday game.. You can be sure I will be near the head of the line on Tuesday .....you have threatened to say nice things about me and I am not sure I deserve them, but I will gladly lap them up.
    Incidentally, I hd a friend whose cat used to come home smelling of someone else's perfume......talk about cats that cheat on you.........

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  10. How would I kinow Who's on first? If they are, what's on second?? I don't know who's on third....
    Geez......

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  11. I vote for the cheating cat that was turned into bad sushi that the lesbian hocked up. :)

    S

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  12. I'm going with little robber Bieber. I think he's too busy egging houses, indulging in illicit pharmaceuticals, speeding around in his fancy-schmancy car, and parading shirtless in public to have time left over for robbing.

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  13. The first one left me laughing and bewildered. I didn't know dildos had wings.

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  14. I'm guessing Justin Bieber. He's done a lot of dumb things, but I kinda hope robbery isn't one of them.

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  15. I think it's Justin B - he's always in trouble but I don't think he'd bother with robbery.
    In any event, this week's commentary by YOU on each item is exceptionally hilarious!

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  16. I'll go with none of the above for the sole reason that no-one else seems to have!

    And NT News is gold for ridiculous headlines. You could feature them every week.

    ReplyDelete

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