STUPID HEADLINES 082414
It is time once again for
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid
headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.
One headline may be completely made up, guess
the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-doo. 'None of the above'
may be a correct answer.
________________________________
Senior surprised by $315 bill
for calling 911 – Well
actually she dialed 911-get-sexy and talked for 48 minutes.
New Jersey veteran, 101, still working same
job 73 years later – What does a guy have to do to get a promotion at this place?
Man gives up smoking for a year to win
$1000 bet, celebrates by buying a pack and lighting up – I’m guessing he may have cheated just a
little.
New Mexico robber caught after shower and
shave, police say – He just wanted to “come clean.” (Stop your groaning, I had to say it…blame it
on the Tourette’s)
North Korean statement insults Secretary of
State Kerry's 'hideous lantern jaw' -
This from a
man who always makes me think “Moe, Larry the cheese!” (I’ll bet Suldog is laughing)
Man Fakes Own Death to Call Off His
Upcoming Wedding – That
is almost as bad as leaving a sticky note saying, "I'm sorry,
I can't. Don't hate me."
Student punished for saying "bless
you" – She was
forced to genuflect in the corner.
Heavy pot use in teen years may predict
later-life disability - Yo, like that be rediculum!
Disbarred lawyer with no fingerprints faces
theft charge in Colorado – Can you steal fingerprints?
Man Has Kept All
His Nail Clippings In A Jar -- Since 1978! – And you thought
saving Beanie Babies was stupid.
Woman Allegedly
Beats Man Who Farted In Her Face – Shouldn’t that be “allegedly”
farted in her face?
Flying Microwave Narrowly Misses Bunch Of Idiots – its
true; God protects drunks, little children and idiots that fool around with
microwaves.
Last week’s fake headline was:
Penguin interrupts wedding on Virginia
Beach – I guess it was a formal wedding.
And the winners are:
I'll go with penguin interrupts wedding on
Virginia Beach. The rest of the stories are believable, but the penguin one
just doesn't sound believable.
Have a fabulous Silly Sunday Cranky. ☺
Have a fabulous Silly Sunday Cranky. ☺
For a dumb blonde,
this lady is awful hard to fool! Visit
Sandee @ http://comedyplus.blogspot.com/
for lots of good…you guessed it, COMEDY!
Penguin. It must have had quite a swim.
Also hard to fool a
Grandma…they’ve heard it all! Visit Blissed-out Grandma @ http://blissedoutgrandma.blogspot.com/
Grandma stories and Grandma wisdom.
The penguin seems like
a good choice, even though I have a record of making bad choices in the game. I
hope you have a great week.
Stephen is getting smarter; he used to be easy to fool.
Visit Stephen @ http://thechubbychatterbox.blogspot.com/
Stories, art history, oh hell, just go there.
Always great stuff!
Visit and congratulate all the winners, and
Come back next week for more:
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!
LMAO @ some of these are hilarious
ReplyDeleteThat poor cop that one cracked me up LOL
I got to go for this Woman Allegedly Beats Man Who Farted In Her Face
simply because it's blinking funny LOL
Have a headlinetastic Sunday ;-)
Flying microwave misses bunch of idiots.
ReplyDeleteNext time the microwave should try flying in/around Washington, DC. It's such a "target rich environment" it couldn't miss. :)
S
I thought about you when I read about the 101 year old man working in New Jersey.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I'm going with the smoker who quit--not. I once quit smoking so my boss would give me a raise. The I lit up again. No logical connection here, I'm just guessing the bet had some built in's.
i'm gonna say 'bless you!'
ReplyDeleteThere are two that could be wrong. The flying microwave and the stop smoking one. So, I'll guess the Man gives up smoking for a year to win $1000 bet, celebrates by buying a pack and lighting up.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous Silly Sunday. :)
I'm going with the flying microwave.
ReplyDeleteIf a microwave is smart enough to fly, it would be smart enough to hit the idiots!
Flying microwave? I don't think so. I hope you're having a great weekend.
ReplyDeleteAgainst my better judgment, I am forced to choose The Flying Microwave. Not because I think microwaves can't fly. I imagine it being hauled in the back of a truck, and continuing its journey when the truck comes to a sudden stop. The problem is the IDIOTS. I don't think the political correctness police would allow the word IDIOTS in the headline. Sticks and stones and flying microwaves can break your bones, but words like IDIOTS can make you want to leave this world.
ReplyDeleteI am secretly hoping that the fake is The Jar of Nail Clippings. I don't want my husband buying something like that at the auction.
I'm still laughing at the headline at the top of the page. Where are the editors? Your follow-up remarks are, as always, great. I'm not even going to try and guess which one is fake.
ReplyDeleteFlying Microwave Narrowly Misses Bunch Of Idiots sounds like the fake to me. The news only calls people idiots that would not be making microwaves fly.
ReplyDeleteYes, Suldog IS laughing. AND I choose that one as the fake (probably wrong, but I usually am, and anyway I'm laughing so I don't care.)
ReplyDeleteNail Clippings. Gross!
ReplyDeleteGawd! They all look fake to me. One of them I did hear but now I forget which one. I give up.
ReplyDeleteJust to be different I'll say the guy who faked his own death to avoid being hitched to Bridezilla. Lots of crazy people out here but this one's a bit much!
ReplyDelete