THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe)and satire, mostly stuff from a confused head.
I intend for this blog to be non-political. If I offer a political statement, rebuttals are permitted, however this blog is not for the unsolicited political opinions of others and as such those comments will be deleted and not published.
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Sunday, August 10, 2014
STUPID HEADLINES 081014
STUPID HEADLINES 081014
It is time once again for
Umm...cause you're dudes?
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid
headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.
One headline may be
completely made up, guess the fake and win a mention and a
Whoop-tee-doo. 'None of the above' may be a correct answer.
Police firearms instructor shoots himself
in hand during lesson – “And that is how you get off duty with pay for six weeks…any questions?”
Government paralegals ‘paid to do nothing’
rewarded with bonuses – Senators in training.
Women ordered to stop praying inside mall –
Church/ discount shoe store…kinda
the same thing.
Diaper duty for Calif. taxpayers? – Hehehehe they said diaper doody! (Sorry
Hundreds of cats take over island – Crazy man crazy!
Dean rips university professor for inviting
Costa Concordia captain to host safety seminar – His first choice couldn’t make it because
he shot himself in the hand.
suspect taunts police on Facebook, gets arrested –
“Na na na na nana you can’t catch…oops.”
Somerville man hit by car is in grave
condition – Well not
yet, but if he stops breathing then yes.
Kentucky Floating Restaurant Sinks
Into River – In my
opinion, a floating restaurant ought to…you know…FLOAT!
Obama With Racist Laser Projection On U.S. Embassy In Moscow – Hey
Russia, go smoke a pack of cigarettes, drink a quart of vodka, wear your funny
hat, do that stupid Russian kick dance, and go F yourself!*
Man buys 23 Burger King pies to spite a
small child – Brat was
screaming “I want a f***ing pie!” Man in front of the line asked mom to quiet
child.Mom told man to F-off.Man bought all the remaining pies.
Texas may start allowing alcohol sales at
some gun shows – I’d
think twice before ordering a shot and a beer.
*Mrs. C works for Russians (now US citizens), and they
are wonderful people, just don’t mess with our President, we do enough of that
ourselves.Oh yeah, Putin sucks!
week’s stupid headline was:
Miami hooker assaults john she claims stiffed her – Isn’t that what he paid for?
While these are all
funny and silly .... they're also sadly possible for one reason or another
(none of them good reasons, mind you) .... so I'm going to go out on a limb
this week and guess that none of them are fake. Thanks Cranky - hope you have a