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Friday, August 29, 2014


I played golf yesterday with Captain Don, formally known as Squeak.  I no longer call him Squeak as I found out he never liked that name.  He is Captain Don as he used to fly a single engine plane. 

Captain Don and I have played golf at “His Course” several times.  Actually it was not “His Course” but was a small public course in the middle of Pennsylvania.  We only played there because they had a landing strip.  Captain Don liked flying more than golf. 

He recently stopped flying and sold his plane.

Quick Captain Don story:

One day Don and I flew to “His Course.” Don paid the green and cart fees (I did buy hotdogs for lunch) along with fuel for the trip.  On the sixteenth hole, I had run out of tees.  I asked Captain Don for a tee.

“OK, but these are extra-long tees, I only have a few, don’t break it.”

(You generally break a tee on at least half of your drives.)

“You spent $100+ for fuel, $60 for green and cart fees, and you’re worried about a tee that comes 50 for a buck?”

“I like these tees!”

Anyway, I thought it was funny.  And yes, I did break the fucking tee!

Back on track:

Yesterday we played at a course local to Captain Don, about an hour from me.  I have gotten lost twice going to Don’s house, once more going to his airport, and once from the sixth hole to the seventh hole at my own local course.  Acutely aware of my inability to make it from point A to point B, Don suggested I meet him at a gas station just off the main road and I could follow him to the golf course.

I managed to find my way off the main highway to the gas station which was right off the exit, ten minutes early.  I called Don to let him know I made it.

He tells me,

“Look if you’re already there, make a left out of the station, go four lights after you go over the highway, make a right on Valley Rd. go up a mile and bear left at the fork to Tulip drive, make your third right on Fairway Lane and meet me by the ball field.  You can follow me from there.”

“Squeak (I was pissed) I could have gotten directions off the internet and programmed it into my i-phone and made it all by my big boy self, now I have to follow your cockamamie verbal directions?  Do you even know who you are dealing with?”  

“You’ll be fine, meet you at the ball field.”

Somehow I did make it to the ball field. As I pulled in a car pulled out.  I called Squeak…er Captain Don.

“Don, was that you pulling out?”

“Yeah, why didn’t you follow?”

“How the hell would I know it was you, I’ve seen your car like once?”

“Just follow, I pulled off to wait for you.”

We did get there, and it was a good day of golf.

 We only played nine, because that is about all I can handle without an electric cart which they did not offer on this course.  Don’s friend Larry was a member and he paid the fees, so that makes it a good day right there.  (Thanks Larry!) We also played with Don’s Son-in-law.

If anyone is interested in my scores:

I counted 45 strokes. 

I had 48 actual strokes and my “Should Have Been” score was a very respectable 42.


  1. your friend was testing you. glad you didn't get lost. :)

  2. Love your scoring system. One time, I was playing at a course new to me, with a friend to whom the course was also new, and we finished up #4. We walked to what we assumed was the fifth tee - a startling lack of signage on that public course - and when we reached the green, we saw a flagstick sporting "7". We had lost two holes. We figured it wasn't worth backtracking, so we gave ourselves a par on each and played on. For my part, I was thrilled because par was an elusive thing in my game.

  3. Why is it that everyone tests you? I've noticed that.

    I'm glad you had a good golf game though. Well once you got there.

    Have a fabulous day and weekend Cranky. ☺

  4. My next golf outing will be to see if I actually move my clubs, from where I put them on Tuesday, to the trunk of my car.

  5. Your pal Don sounds like a hoot. I've known people like that. A gal will pay an outrageous price for a fancy designer dress (which she'll probably only wear once) and another outrageous amount for shoes and purse to match the dress, and then of course, she'll drop a boatload of money at an exclusive salon to get her hair done by her favorite stylist. (Great Clips isn't good enough for everyone, evidently.) Then she'll bitch about losing one of the bobby pins from her hair...

    It's a good thing none of my friends "test" me when it comes to directions. I'd still be out there wandering in the wilderness somewhere.

  6. Omg.. The whole don't break the golf tee thing! I have friends just like that. They'll drop a couple of hundred bucks on a handbag or a pair of ugly shoes, treat you to the all day outtings but don't touch the dollar store figurine on their coffee table because.. "It's pretty, I don't want it broke.." Seriously? I'm pretty sure you can go right back to Dollar General and get a case full so you'll have a few to spare.. Crazy.. I love your stories..

  7. While not a golfer myself, a can appreciate your modified scoring system! I know what you mean about the Tee's, and I have to admit I am sometimes like that...but it's more often with things I know I can't replace even though they are relatively cheap.

  8. I don't know much about Golf, but it looks like you did good.

  9. Golf is another of those sports I don't understand.
    Hit the ball, chase it, find it, smack it again. Continue.
    The only good thing about golf is all the walking exercise.

  10. Good for you with your strokes, especially when it came from the generosity of another paying the golf fees :)


  11. I would have blanked at "go four lights..."
    No verbal directions for me!
    Quite frankly, I get lost no matter what.

  12. I can no longer process verbal clues. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. And since I know nothing about golf I'll accept your word about how good you did. So congrats for a great score. (hahaha)

  13. Most of the people I know who play golf are so frustrated by the game that I can't help but wonder what the point of it all is. But I'm glad you had a good time with your friend, who obviously likes to rib you, and isn't that what friends are for?

  14. Kind of think he is making you pay for all those times he had to answer to. "Squeak". At least you know a cheap Christmas present to get him--long tees.


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