NEW AND IMPROVED

This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Sunday, September 8, 2019

Scissors

Scissors
My wife is not difficult to live with, but she does require some adjustments.  She can be a bit quirky. 
For instance; scissors.
We have a pair of scissors in every room of the house.  Apparently you never know when you might need scissors RIGHT AWAY!
In the kitchen we have two pairs of scissors.  One pair is only for cutting poultry, one pair is for paper and stuff.  When I needed scissors to cut suckers out of my tomato plants, I quickly found out that vegetation does not count as stuff.
“Don’t use those scissors for yard work!  We have a pair in the garage for yard work.”
I used the garage scissors for my tomatoes, and then put those scissors away in MY barbeque stuff kitchen drawer instead of putting them back in the garage.  I was going to use these scissors often and the garage is a long way from my tomato plants.
The other day Mrs. C asks, “Where are the garage scissors?”
“In my BBQ drawer, I use them all the time.”
“They belong in the garage; I need them there.”
So now the scissors I use almost every day for plants right outside our back door reside in the garage 20 yards away, through two doors and I have to first go outside to get to them.
The other day while searching frantically through every drawer in the house looking for my lost golf GPS thingy, I found a third pair of scissors in the kitchen.  These scissors were buried underneath assorted stuff.   I unburied them and thought great, now there are three scissors in the kitchen.  One for poultry, one for paper and stuff, and a third pair for cutting the suckers out of my tomato plants.
Maybe not.
Mrs. C just opened that drawer today.
“What are these scissors doing out in the open?”
“I found them the other day, I unburied them so I can use them on the tomatoes.”
“Not these scissors, they are good scissors, you’ll ruin them…that’s why I hid them!”
“Well what are they for then?  You already have two pairs of scissors in the kitchen and a pair in every other room in the house?”
“Never mind.  They are the good scissors and not for you to use.”
“So along with the “Good Towels” that we are not allowed to use and the “Sea Shell” soap the we are not allowed to use; we now have the “Good Scissors?”
“Yes! Don’t be a jerk.  Leave them alone.”
I’m going to buy my own pair of scissors and put them in the BBQ drawer, and no one else better use them! 
It is easier to adjust than to figure her out.
Re-run from September 2016

17 comments:

  1. Its like a library. You need to go to Mrs. Cranky and see which scissors you can check out depending on their use.

    betty

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm sure the store would sell scissors to you. But you'd better scratch your name into the metal where it can't be filed down, and hide them really well, with a copy of the receipt laminated and attached. Keep the original receipt in the safety deposit box in case there's an issue.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh dear ... we are so alike. We have many scissors for different uses too. And towels never to be used and sea shell soaps. What's happening here?

    God bless.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Nice to know you're going to do exactly what I was about to suggest. Might I add also put your name on the handle along with 'tomatoes'.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I use pruning shears of various sizes in the garden...never to be confused with our three sets of scissors in the kitchen.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Whoops, sounds very much like me..... I have scissors all over the place!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Lol, I like to have a lot of scissors, too. I suggest putting your name on your tomato scissors so that there's no confusion.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm afraid I am a lot like Mrs. C. I have scissors in every room, one hanging on the porch for deadheading and also in the garage for "what ever". Like the idea of labeling the one you plan to keep for yourself. BTW. I also have small flashlights in every room. So things could be worse.

    ReplyDelete
  9. If you'd just use the not good scissors all would be well. You're trying to use the good scissors and that's the problem. Perhaps she should mark them for you so you'll know what to use and on what.

    Have a fabulous day and week, Joe. 😎

    ReplyDelete
  10. I like to sew and do crafts so I have a lot of scissors as well. I even have my mom and my grandma's old scissors as well as kid-sized scissors. Kitchen scissors I buy from the dollar tree and then hair scissors and paper scissors. My husband gets confused, too. He's ruined many a good hair or paper scissors on some quick gardening job. Also he uses my large measuring cup to water outside and then leaves them outside - Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

    ReplyDelete
  11. Lol, I wondered how long it would take you to buy your own pair. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  12. I don't have towels that are off limits. I don't have seashell soap. I do have soap in pump containers for all seasons. White soap in pump container for winter, soap in Christmas pump containers, soap in witch containers, orange soap called pumpkin spice for Fall, blue soap called Lake House..and we don't even have a lake house. I guess what I'm trying to say is: We all have issues. Thankfully I have a hubby who, like you, figures it's better just to buy his own stinkn' soap.

    ReplyDelete
  13. We solved the problem by buying one pair and using them for everything. Our only problem is getting the kids to bring them back.

    ReplyDelete
  14. You have found the right solution. Now, don’t go running with them.

    ReplyDelete
  15. i am glad you do gardening dear Joe :)

    i can;t blame mrs C ,she is doing what women mostly born to do "management"
    story is so amusing through your way of sharing!
    like us THINGS have home either and they should be where they belong to :)
    i hope she will not object on extra pair in your bbq dryer ,best of luck

    ReplyDelete
  16. As someone who sews and does crafts and at one time had a house full of kids - Mrs. C for the win on this one! Don't argue. Just nod and back away... I too have scissors in every room of the house and in my purse and in my car. They make sense. Mrs. C makes sense. :)

    ReplyDelete