STUPID HEADLINES 040719
Bikini-clad bride weds groom in overalls, caps off wedding with roll in the mud – Why, yes, this was in Florida, why do you ask?
Walmart partners with Google for voice-assisted grocery shopping – Yeah, like any man will ask for help at a supermarket.
4th grader’s two-year plan: I want to make $3 million – I have a similar plan, only not quite $3 million, and I still have 50 years to get there.
Jussie Smollett's lawyer threatens Chicago, Rahm Emanuel if they go after 'Empire' star for cash – And the winner of this years “Nervy” goes to the nerviest* MF ever, Jussie Smollett! Come on up Jussie, oh, and don’t trip in your noose.
Elon Musk explains reason for Tesla Model 3's mysterious cockpit camera – “Hey, I just like to look up rich women’s skirts!”
Study challenges health benefits of moderate drinking – Coffee good…coffee bad, carbs good…carbs bad, alcohol good…alcohol bad. It’s enough to drive me to drink!
Confirmed: This Is How You Should Hang Your Toilet Paper – Original patent shows paper hangs over…apparently the inventor did not own a cat.
Video shows man allegedly stealing chainsaw, hiding it in his pants – Seemed like a good idea until a hot young lady walked by…now he won’t be needing a vasectomy.
Family finds hidden camera in Airbnb's smoke alarm – Probably in case there was a fire they would have it on tape…or…
Florida Man driving stolen Jeep returns to scene looking for lost cellphone – Good chance there was alcohol involved…alcohol and Florida, perfect together.
FEEL-GOOD STORY of the WEEK:
Nurse adopts girl who had no visitors during hospital stay – From really sad to FEEL-GOOD!
*Why I love spell check…as you may know I am a terrible speller. I originally misspelled “nerviest” so badly that spellcheck could not offer me a correction. I changed it to “most nervy” and spell check suggested “nerviest.”
We had some traveling nurses for 3 months to fill in a staff shortage. One of the nurses stayed at an Airbnb here in Ashland. At the end of his contract the hosts at the bnb had a little party for him. They drank all night long. The hosts were ministers and had invited their minister friends over too. Maybe it was caught on a hidden camera? Or maybe they were just trying to show how healthy they could be after drinking all night....oh, that nurse was late for his last day of work...and was sick all day too. I guess they forgot about the "moderate drinking" part.ReplyDelete
Of course my 13-year-old self loves a headline about a "happy ending." Plus the judged sex, and the chainsaw vasectomy.ReplyDelete
That 4th grader, i want to interview him in 20 years.ReplyDelete
OK, so my inner 13-year-old is wondering if a 'roll in the mud' is just a beach-y version of a 'roll in the hay'. . .ReplyDelete
The UK judge just pisses me off. . .
The headlines made me laugh and the adoption story made me cry.ReplyDelete
Around My Kitchen Table
And the world goes round and round .........ReplyDelete
A new use for a chainsaw! Well, who would have thought.ReplyDelete
And I just keep shaking my head over Florida.ReplyDelete