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Wednesday, November 22, 2017

A Thanksgiving Tradition

A Thanksgiving Tradition

In 1963, my senior year in high school we played a football game on Thanksgiving.  Westfield, NJ vs. Plainfield, NJ; the Blue Devils against the Cardinals.  Plainfield was favored by 13 points.  If I was not playing and was a betting man, I would have taken Plainfield and given the points as a lock.
The game took place only a few days after President Kennedy was murdered.  There was thought of postponement, but it went on, one small example of the country moving on after that awful blow to our leadership.
Westfield won in an upset 14 to 12.  My pops filmed this game along with all our games that year on 8mm.  Years after, a Thanksgiving tradition became watching this film with my friend Charley “Ditmus” Widmer.  I have since copied it to DVD.  Charley put it on youtube. 
The tradition continues after 54 years, confirming that we actually won that game.
Happy Thanksgiving!

Monday, November 20, 2017

So, Pee Already

So, Pee Already



Big doings around the Cranky home this past Sunday.  We do Thanksgiving for family and friends Sunday before the real day.  This means we start cleaning and putting stuff away around Wednesday.  Come Friday, I clean up the bathrooms and save downstairs and kitchen clean-up for after most of the food prep is finished.
On Friday I was almost done with the master bath when Mrs. C came upstairs.
“Are you almost done?”
“Soon, why.”
“I need to pee.”
“Use the down stairs bathroom, I’m saving cleaning that until tomorrow.”
“I’m already upstairs, what is the big deal?”
“I just finished with the toilet.”
“So, what? I can’t use the upstairs toilets until after Sunday?  What about tomorrow when you clean downstairs, do I have to hold it in for a day?”
“No, but I just cleaned this toilet.  I like to let the blue stuff sit for an hour or so before flushing.”
“Well I don’t feel like going downstairs to pee, and then climbing back upstairs again because I have to change to go to the store.”
“OK…So pee already! I’ll clean it again and add more blue stuff!”
“Thank you…JERK!”
Women, they just don’t understand toilet cleanliness.

The Deadliest Jobs

 

The Deadliest Jobs

This re-run is from October 2011

One of my favorite TV shows is “The Deadliest Catch” on the Discovery channel.  This show, which is about crab fishing in the Alaska Bering Sea, claims that working on a crab boat out of Alaska is the world’s most dangerous job.  While it is indeed a very dangerous occupation, I’m not sure how they determine it is the MOST dangerous.  Certainly a combat soldier is more dangerous; policemen could make a case that their job is more dangerous, firefighters risk their lives on a regular basis, and miners are lost to cave-ins every year.

All these careers can be treacherous, but there are other ways to make a living that might be even more dangerous than these accepted dangerous jobs.  Listed below in order of their potential peril are the 10 most unappreciated dangerous jobs in the world:   

1.      A manager of McDonalds in New Delhi, India

2.     A redheaded freckle faced drug dealer in the South Bronx, NYC

3.     A dradle salesman in Iran

4.     An underwater electrician

5.     Any Al Qaeda leader

6.     A supervisor in the US Postal Service

7.     A bullet-proof vest tester

8.     The quarterback for the Chicago Bears

9.     A sky writer in China… (Think about it!)*

                                                 
And #10, the most dangerous job in the world


A Danish artist with a syndicated cartoon strip “Oh That Mohammad!”


*Last time around people did not get this, which probably means it is only funny to me.  The Chinese write from Top to bottom, not right to left.  Seems to me this would make sky writing dangerous.  Maybe it's just me.

Sunday, November 19, 2017

STUPID HEADLINES 111917


STUPID HEADLINES 111917


I find this difficult to believe
It’s time again for
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments. 

______________________________

Drunk Florida man arrested for driving lawn mower on highway – The road had been just mowed the day before!

Florida family awakens to man stomping on their roof – Apparently there was some Meth to his madness.

Florida man fights eviction over 'emotional support squirrel' – Florida…the stupid headline gift that just keeps giving!

Rare Leonardo da Vinci painting may sell for at least $100M in New York – I’m gonna take a pass. It is a very nice painting, but I just don’t have a place for it in my house.

Charles Manson in grave condition at California hospital – This is almost the Feel-Good headline of the week!

Professor draws ire for saying students will have to work hard and avoid drinking - A mental health campaign at the university said the message sent by the professor “could be extremely damaging to the mental well-being of the students concerned, and potentially others as well,” OMG!

McDonald's reveals plans to sell only humanely raised and slaughtered chickens by 2024 – It must be a difficult process to humanely slaughter a chicken as it apparently takes 5 years to figure out how to do it.

Airline apologizes after crew is filmed beating passenger on a tarmac – FU Air sincerely apologizes for filming the severe beat down we gave you last week.  We understand the lighting was bad and intend to have the crew take film sensitivity classes.

GOP State Legislator Quits After Having Sex With a Man – What’s the big deal?  He tried it and didn’t like it so he quit.

Germany supplants US as the country with the best global reputation – Just the friggin BMW drivers alone ruins the reputation with me.

30 Ugliest Sports Uniforms Ever Designed – Without a doubt, Seattle Seahawks has to be #1!


Feel-Good Story of the week:

If this doesn’t make you feel all warm and fuzzy, you have no heart:

4-year-old friends think they're twins because they 'have the same birthday'


_________________________________________

Come back again next week for more

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

Saturday, November 18, 2017

A Cranky Announcement


A Cranky Announcement

For the last year or so, I have tried very hard to keep political commentary out of this blog.  I may have failed from time to time, some issues are difficult to discuss without some political views slipping in, but it is my intent for this to be a political opinion free zone.  If I slip and offer a political position, respectful rebuttals will be published, however unsolicited opinions will be deleted as I do not wish to be a forum for political venom and rhetoric.

There are a million political blogs in this here internet, if you wish to express a political view or pick a political battle, please choose one of those and not “The Cranky Old Man.”

If I have offended anyone with my opinions, political or otherwise, I am sorry, and if you choose to not follow my blog, I understand.

Thank you.

Friday, November 17, 2017

Bring Back The Slap

Bring Back The Slap
A cranky opinion for
CRANKY OPINION SATURDAY
The following is the opinion of an insensitive, cranky old man, with practically no social skills.  Opposing opinions are welcome and probably make a lot of sense.  As always, please, no name calling and that means you, you big stupid- head!
What happened to the slap?  I recall as a young man, we watched not only our hands around young women, we watched our mouth and our eyes.  Get caught stealing a peek…SLAP!  Curse in front of a young lady…SLAP!  Inappropriately touch a young lady…DOUBLE SLAP!!
We opened doors for ladies, we respected ladies.  Oh, we leered when we could, and we spoke of sexual wants, but not in the presence of ladies.  We respected ladies, and if we didn’t…SLAP!
 
In our 1960's college fraternity, when a brother's date entered the house, everyone was admonished, "Watch your mouth, a lady is in the house." 
I know it is not my faulty memory.   Watch any old movie from the forties or fifties.  If a man gets out of line in these movies, if he steals a kiss, takes a peek or disrespects a lady…SLAP!
Somewhere along the way to women demanding equal rights with men, and with the dropping of many sexual walls, respect for women has changed and for some reason the “Don’t disrespect me” SLAP has been discarded. 
I am certain that sexual abuse toward women has always been around, but it seems to be almost casual these days.  Politicians, teachers, entertainers, every man in power seems to think it is OK to be sexually aggressive to women, and I’m pretty sure it is not just men in positions of power, they are just the ones who make the news.
In the olden days, much of this aggressive behavior would be returned with a hard SLAP.  Men can be pigs, sometimes they need to be told in no uncertain terms where the line is, and words don’t always work.  "No" does not always mean "no" to a clueless man.  We do understand a SLAP.
Yes, times have changed, and men get mixed signals that they did not use to get.  Women want to be treated as equals in all ways.  Women compete with men in areas they did not compete before, and this is a good thing. 
Women may not act as demurely as in days gone by.  Women no longer “get the vapors” women do not use fake tears to get their way, they want to compete on an even footing with men.  Perhaps that is why they no longer slap.  Do today’s women feel above the need to slap? Do they feel the slap is demeaning?  Do they feel that when a man gets out of line simply telling him is enough?  It should be, but sadly it sometimes is not.
I do not mean in any way to put the blame for aggressive male behavior on ladies.  There is no excuse for men crossing the line.  We need to do a better job of teaching our boys how to behave as men, how to respect women.
But ladies, to help deliver the message of respect, bring back the SLAP.  Some of us deserve it.  Some of us need it, and not just a pity-pat; leave a hand print.  Make it hurt!
Men, shape up.  You need to stop the aggression, you need to respect women…all women.  No means no, and a SLAP means HELL NO!!
Ladies, I apologize for all the pigs of my gender.  You shouldn’t be put in uncomfortable positions, you deserve respect, but in the meantime…
BRING BACK THE SLAP!!
The preceding was the opinion of a cranky old man and not necessarily that of management…Mrs. Cranky.
OUCH!!   

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Cooking Cranky Style part II


Cooking Cranky Style part II

The world needs a book of Cranky recipes.  Meals that are quick, easy, need no special ingredients and are tasty.  Food that is not special, but that anyone can make. Simple stuff that can be whipped together without extensive shopping, planning and measuring.  Meals that are easy clean ups.


Grilled Cheese-Like-Product Sandwich Cranky Style
 


This is the second recipe of a work in progress “The Cranky Cook Book”.

Ingredients:

Two slices of rye bread (can you substitute another bread if you want? NO!)

Velveeta a cheese-like-product (no one really knows what this cheese-like product is, but it MUST be Velveeta from a brick, not presliced.  (Can you substitute with real cheese?  NO!)

Butter – one glob plus one pat

Bacon – Three slices

Tomato - one


Fry three slices of bacon till crispy

Layer ¼ inch of Velveeta on each slice of rye bread

Add two slices of crispy bacon and several slices of tomato

Throw away the rest of the tomato, it just goes bad in the fridge

Close the sandwich such that  melted cheese will encapsulate the tomato and bacon

Wipe down bacon fry pan leaving some grease and add glob of butter

Place sandwich in pan at low temperature with another pan on top to press sandwich and keep in heat

Ignore smoke alarm

Open a window, turn on fan, and yell to wife that everything is ok

When first side is golden brown, add one pat of butter on top slice of bread and turn in pan, cover until Velveeta melts and oozes out encapsulating the bacon and tomato

Eat the third slice of bacon

Cut sandwich on a diagonal and plate

Serve with potato chips and bottle of beer

Burp

Nap

Easy and delicious!

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

I gotta Get Out More


I gotta Get Out More
I need to get out more.  The last few days I’ve been a shut in.  Too cold for golf.  Too lazy for the gym.  We’ve done most of our shopping for Thanksgiving.  I’ve been a slug.
Watch TV, play guitar, surf the net, nap, watch TV, go to sleep.
Repeat.
It’s not so bed, I like watching TV, playing guitar, surfing the net and napping.  Problem is I’ve got nothing to post.  I’m pretty sure no one wants to read about watching TV, playing guitar, surfing the net and napping.  I need to get out of the house to get new material.
I did find a penny this afternoon when I took out the garbage.  Who wants to read about finding a penny?  There is no way I could make a post out of finding a penny.   
I could post about the Dr. Phil re-run I watched.  Dr. Phil counseled a couple that argued constantly.  The husband was 120 pounds overweight and was not interested in sex.  The wife was having an affair, her second.  Dr. Phil tried to teach them how to effectively communicate and offered them a get-a-way to a special “save your marriage” counseling house.  After only five minutes I was screaming at the TV, “Get a friggin divorce… you two hate each other.” I could not figure out why anyone would want to save this marriage, they obviously despised each other.  At the end of the show Dr. Phil let us know that the counseling house did not work and the couple was separating…DUH!!  But who would want to read about that?
After about 10,000 hours of practice, I can almost comfortably play the open C cord in the Bar Cord position.  Want me to explain that?  I didn’t think so.
Lately when surfing the net, Chrome keeps crapping out on me and I have to use Explorer which I don’t like as much.  What’s that?  Not interested?  I agree.
I got nothing.  I gotta get out more.
Wanna hear about my nap?
ZZZZZZZ.

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Closet War

Closet War
 
Mrs. C and I live in a fairly small two-bedroom townhouse.  It is big enough for our needs.  It is probably bigger than we need, except for the master closet. 
 
For the size of our townhouse, the master bedroom is large.  We have a master bath that is quite large.  We have a walk-in closet that is very large.  The very large closet is not large enough.  I think if we doubled it in size it would not be large enough.  The size of the closet is the only thing that restricts Mrs. C’s wardrobe.  If the closet enlarged, her wardrobe would increase proportionately.
Where all her cloths comes from I have no idea, she only wears about 10% of what is in the closet. 
I don’t mind as long as I have some space of my own in the closet.  My suits and jackets and dress shirts are hung in the guest room closet.  I am allowed maybe 1/3 of that space, the rest is for Mrs. C.  In the master closet I am allowed maybe 2 feet of hanger space for my shirts and casual slacks.  Mrs. C has about 20 feet of hanger space.
My 2 feet is all I really need.  I’d like one more foot so the hangers were not crushed together.  When I take out a shirt, everything is so crushed together that invariably another shirt gets pulled off its hanger.  OK, that is a pain, but not so bad…except.
The other week I found three sweatshirts hung in my 2 feet of hanger space that were not mine.
“Did you know you have shirts hanging in my space?”
“I do?”
“Yes, and I barely have enough space for my stuff.”
          
“I’m moving the shirts to your space.”
            
I thought that was the end of the situation.  I thought wrong.  Tonight I went to pull out a shirt and I saw the same three shirts back in my 2-foot hanger space.
“How did these shirts get back into my 2 feet of hanger space.”
              
“You put them back didn’t you.”
“Maybe.”
“When you say maybe it means yes doesn’t it.”
“Maybe.”
I moved the shirts back into her space.  If I give up even an inch she will only take more, plus I think there is a law that if you allow someone to use your property after a period of time it becomes theirs. 
I will to allow that to happen.
“You’re not going to try and move any shirts back to my space, are you?”
“Maybe.” 

Monday, November 13, 2017

NAME THAT SPORT ANSWERS

NAME THAT SPORT ANSWERS
 
The following are the answers to last weeks (or so) quiz
1.    Last licks!                                       -Baseball
2.    Over and back                             -Basketball
3.    Bouy room!                                  -Sailboat Racing
4.    Bad Beat                                      -Poker
5.    Leaner                                          -Horseshoes
6.    False start                                    -Track  (also football)
7.    Palming                                       -Basketball
8.    Tie goes to the runner              -Baseball (Kids rule)
9.     Basement Dweller                  -Baseball
10.                       Take-down/ escape       -Wrestling
11.                       Spike                                 - Vollyball (accepted:baseball, football)
12.                       Kick or stick                      - Football (kids in the street)
13.                       Ten in the pit                  - Bowling
14.                       Hand Ball! (no, it is not “Hand Ball”)   -Soccer
15.                       Hail Mary                                                   -Football
16.                       Ace (two sports)                     - Golf, Tennis
17.                       Eye gouge  (Semi-sport)       -Wrestling WWE)
18.                       Geronimo                                -Ski diving
19.                       On your guard                       - Fencing
20.                       Icing                                     - Hockey
21.                       Let                                         - Tennis
22.                       Ringer                                    - Horseshoes (also in any sport an       expert hiding as an amateur)
23.                       Maiden                               - Horse racing
24.                       Hooey                                   - Rodeo
25.                       Hook (five sports) No, prostitution is a profession.  Golf, bowling, hockey, football (basketball, thanks Fran)
 
Bonus question, Division 1 (now called FBS) football teams with nick names that do not end I (s)
Fighting Irish                   - Notre Dame
Midshipmen                   - Navy
Crimson Tide                   - Alabama
Green Wave                       - Tulane
Thundering Herd               - Marshall
Cardinal                         - Stanford
Orange                           - Syracuse
Wolfpack                    - North Carolina State
Fighting Illini         - Illinois
Pride                      - Hofstra (Oops, disbanded in 2009 and not FBS)
Minuteman     - U Mass is division 1-A  but I wouldn’t quibble  
And the winners:
 
Best score:


Only 4 wrong But only 2 of the bonus (3 if I give her Notre Dame)  Congratulations and WHOOP-TEE-DOO!!

 



Best score for a man: (which was supposed to be just best score!!)



Only had 7 wrong, including ½ credits




And 7 out of 10 on the bonus (counting 2 Ivy League teams)
Congratulations and WHOOP-TEE-DOO!!
 
Top Score by a Lady: (Which was not supposed to be overall best score!!)
Congratulations and WHOOP-TEE-DOO!!
Best score by a Pakistani Lady: (Why not)
4 right, but not in order…but she was the only entrant in the category
Congratulations and WHOOP-TEE-DOO!!
 
Honorable Mention: (because she caught me on a few misses)
Congratulations and WHOOP-TEE-DOO!!
 
Thanks to all for participating
PS- I didn’t know Hooey either, I Googled Rodeo just to find a term