THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe)and satire, mostly stuff from a confused head.
I intend for this blog to be non-political. If I offer a political statement, rebuttals are permitted, however this blog is not for the unsolicited political opinions of others and as such those comments will be deleted and not published.
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Monday, August 7, 2017
This Cranky re-run is from August 2013
I don’t believe in profiling, but:
If you have one eyebrow and your name is Habib, I might distance myself from your backpack.
If you wear your pants below your ass and say “yo, yo, yo” mother-f-er, I might reach for my can of mace.
If you have a Mohawk haircut and wear a shirt that says, “What the F*ck are you looking at” I might wait for the next train.
If your bumper sticker say’s “America, love it or get the frig out!” I’ll probably just let you cut me off and not honk my horn.
If your car has all tinted windows and a chrome chain around your license plate, I will probably not stop to help you fix a flat tire.
If you have giant plates in your earlobes, I probably won’t ask you for directions. With no other information to go by, I am choosing LaQuando Mustaffa over Herb Jacobs for my fantasy basketball team.
If you are whacking away on a pound of chewing gum and ask me if I have any spare change, my pockets will most likely be empty.
If you smell, I may not sit next to you.
If you have an arm sleeve with tattooed satanic images, I might just hire a different babysitter.
If you have really wide open eyes and a goofy smile, I think I might try the movie in theater #7.
If you have sores on your lip, I’m going across the street to Burger King.
If you roll down the windows in your BMW and turn your rap music to “Reverberate all of Main Street,” I'm going to assume you're an idiot.
If your bumper sticker says, “Impeach Obama” or “Kill Bush” my conversation with you will be limited to the weather.
If your name is Bubba, I might wait for Lance to cut my hair.
If you have a big smile, I might say “hello,” If you have a scowl, I’ll probably look away.
I don’t believe in profiling, but I profile every day.
It is called learning through experience. Sometimes it’s wrong…