NEW AND IMPROVED

This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Sunday, August 6, 2017

STUPID HEADLINES 080617

STUPID HEADLINES 080617
It’s time again for
They say size doesn't matter
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments. 
______________________
Ohio woman calls 911 saying, 'I have a boa constrictor stuck to my face' – No comment can top the operators response… “I’ve never heard of that before!”
MS-13 members: Trump makes the gang stronger – Well, we should definitely consult with the members of the gang as how to best destroy them.
Blowing out birthday candles increases cake bacteria by 1,400 percent, study reveals – Cake bacteria was the cause of flour children in the 70’s.
Naked illegal alien panhandlers turning Times Square into shocking anti-family zone – First it was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, now this!
Princeton asks students to pick from six 'genders' – Even multiple-choice questions are complicated at Princeton.
Pete Rose Accused of Minor Sex – Hell, my wife accuses me of this all the time!
Maine landlord runs over tenant for digging up plants – Might have been better to just withhold some of the security deposit.

Manhunt underway for man caught 'pleasuring himself' during 'The Emoji Movie' –
Vain fugitive turns himself in after spotting ‘unflattering’ mugshot on Facebook – He probably thinks that Carly’s song is about him.
Half the candidates in Detroit mayoral election are felons – My vote would go for someone in the half that didn’t get caught.
Danish queen's husband refuses to be buried with her – Well yeah; He’s still alive!
The feel-good story of the week:
Bride gets mistaken by little girl as a princess from her favorite book - so she acts the part beautifully – It was a slow feel-good news week, but I kinda liked this one.
__________________________________________
Come back again next week for more
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!  

18 comments:

  1. I've always suspected that about the filthy habit of blowing out birthday candles. Especially when the first set of pictures don't turn out right and they have to relight them and try again. Ugh.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That felon, if he's young enough to be that vain, i doubt the guy knows Carly's song.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I've eaten a lot of birthday cake in my life and it hasn't killed me yet, however, there are so many candles on it now I am a little concerned about the fire hazard.
    That is a sweet story about the bride and the little girl.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Cake bacteria was the cause of flour children in the 70s? Brilliant!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love these and most of the time your comments are even better. I linked this post to Silly Sunday as always.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  6. The "Little Wiener" wedding? I can only imagine what was listed on the bridal gift registry! *snort*

    ReplyDelete
  7. Birthday cake germs would worry me - especially one for little kids ...

    ReplyDelete
  8. If Emogies turned on that guy, what would he do at an R rated flick.

    ReplyDelete
  9. You have to love little kids, that feel good story was cute.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm a bit worried that frosting will now have to have an antibiotic in it. It was much better when the aliens were just kidnapping folks and taking them to the spaceship.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Good thing that 911 operator didn't tell the boa constrictor lady to "Stop having a hissy fit!"

    ReplyDelete
  12. Trying to mock Pete Rose is an exercise in futility; no matter how outrageously you try to mock him, his own reality just goes way past anything you could come up with on your own. . .

    And, I suppose, Detroit. . .

    ReplyDelete
  13. I wonder if Mrs. Little-Weiner will hyphenate her last name? I had a newly divorced best friend who was a wee bit naughty, but very funny. She made good use of her name, Rosie Weiner. Even pointing out the "guilty" man on occasion.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Flour children....Why, I autta drive up there and.....
    That's a scream.
    R

    ReplyDelete
  15. I'm wondering about the naked illegal alien panhandlers in Times Square... how do we know they were illegal? They just didn't have a pocket to carry their green cards!

    ReplyDelete

I love comments, especially some of my commenters are funny as heck!

Oh, and don't be shy, Never miss a Cranky Post.

Sign up for an email of every post...over there...on your right...go on!