STUPID HEADLINES 080617
It’s
time again for
 |
| They say size doesn't matter |
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid
headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
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Ohio woman calls 911 saying, 'I have
a boa constrictor stuck to my face' – No comment can top the operators response… “I’ve never heard of that before!”
MS-13 members: Trump makes the gang
stronger – Well, we
should definitely consult with the members of the gang as how to best destroy
them.
Blowing out birthday candles
increases cake bacteria by 1,400 percent, study reveals – Cake bacteria was the cause of flour
children in the 70’s.
Naked illegal alien panhandlers
turning Times Square into shocking anti-family zone – First it was Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles, now this!
Princeton asks students to pick from
six 'genders' – Even
multiple-choice questions are complicated at Princeton.
Pete Rose Accused of Minor Sex – Hell, my wife accuses me of this all
the time!
Maine landlord runs over tenant for
digging up plants – Might have been better to just
withhold some of the security deposit.
Manhunt underway for man caught
'pleasuring himself' during 'The Emoji Movie' –
Vain fugitive turns himself in after
spotting ‘unflattering’ mugshot on Facebook – He probably thinks that Carly’s song
is about him.
Half the candidates in Detroit
mayoral election are felons – My vote would go for someone in the half that didn’t get
caught.
Danish queen's husband refuses to be
buried with her – Well
yeah; He’s still alive!
The feel-good story of
the week:
Bride gets mistaken by little girl as
a princess from her favorite book - so she acts the part beautifully – It was a slow feel-good news week,
but I kinda liked this one.
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Come back again next week for more
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!
Good crop of stupid this week
ReplyDeleteI've always suspected that about the filthy habit of blowing out birthday candles. Especially when the first set of pictures don't turn out right and they have to relight them and try again. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteThat felon, if he's young enough to be that vain, i doubt the guy knows Carly's song.
ReplyDeleteI've eaten a lot of birthday cake in my life and it hasn't killed me yet, however, there are so many candles on it now I am a little concerned about the fire hazard.
ReplyDeleteThat is a sweet story about the bride and the little girl.
Cake bacteria was the cause of flour children in the 70s? Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteI love these and most of the time your comments are even better. I linked this post to Silly Sunday as always.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day, Joe. ☺
Best feel good story, ever!
ReplyDeleteThe "Little Wiener" wedding? I can only imagine what was listed on the bridal gift registry! *snort*
ReplyDeleteBirthday cake germs would worry me - especially one for little kids ...
ReplyDeleteIf Emogies turned on that guy, what would he do at an R rated flick.
ReplyDeleteLoved your feel good story!!
ReplyDeleteYou have to love little kids, that feel good story was cute.
ReplyDeleteI'm a bit worried that frosting will now have to have an antibiotic in it. It was much better when the aliens were just kidnapping folks and taking them to the spaceship.
ReplyDeleteGood thing that 911 operator didn't tell the boa constrictor lady to "Stop having a hissy fit!"
ReplyDeleteTrying to mock Pete Rose is an exercise in futility; no matter how outrageously you try to mock him, his own reality just goes way past anything you could come up with on your own. . .
ReplyDeleteAnd, I suppose, Detroit. . .
I wonder if Mrs. Little-Weiner will hyphenate her last name? I had a newly divorced best friend who was a wee bit naughty, but very funny. She made good use of her name, Rosie Weiner. Even pointing out the "guilty" man on occasion.
ReplyDeleteFlour children....Why, I autta drive up there and.....
ReplyDeleteThat's a scream.
R
I'm wondering about the naked illegal alien panhandlers in Times Square... how do we know they were illegal? They just didn't have a pocket to carry their green cards!
ReplyDelete