Stupid Headlines 112716
|Stupid Headline Sunday|
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
Black Friday is dying a slow death – And a certain newspaper columnist and freelance writer in Massachusetts is doing his “Happy Dance!”
Robbery goes awry in Austria after suspect finds bank closed – Gun-check; Hood-check, note to teller-check, time the bank opens…ah, soon?
Today's turkeys are monstrous super birds, more than twice as big as in 1929 – Duh…Inflation!
Kentucky man sues after turned down for 'IM GOD' license plate – Hasn’t this jack-hole ever heard of the Constitution? Separation of church and plate? Hello!
Town renames Good Friday for the sake of "Cultural Sensitivity" - The day Christ was nailed to a cross will now be called “Important for Christians, but no big deal for everyone else Friday.”
Chanukah – Will be known as “Jew Candle Time.”
Ramadan – Will be called “No food for Muslims month.”
Dominican funeral home offers Black Friday bargains – And all products carry a lifetime guarantee.
Bills ban dildo throwers for life from home games – It’s football, I can understand a fake kick, but a fake…?
Man Guilty of Making Off With $165K of Gold in His Butt – Puts a new meaning to “Filthy rich!” He was found guilty by (and this is for real) wait for it…Judge Peter Doody
Massachusetts police say woman tried to use pizza as ID to enter bar – Who hasn’t mistakenly handed over a slice of pizza instead of their driver’s license at one time or another? Wait this was to get in the bar…never mind.
Justin Bieber appears to punch fan in the face – I wonder how much he was paid for that appearance?
CBS Trolls Aretha Franklin's Long National Anthem with Time of Possession Chart – Regardless of what you thought of Aretha’s performance (I think she took a chance on a tough song and mangled it, but that’s just me) this stat is really funny:
And the feel good headline of the week: ZIP
I’ve been searching and I’ve got nothing.
Come back next week for more
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!