STUPID HEADLINES 112016
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
Local Greek governments given up to 2,129 years to repay debt – You know, “Debt” is from the Greek word “Debetakus” meaning “The check is in the mail.”
Regular drinking preserves 'good cholesterol' levels – Preserves as in “pickles”?
China bans 'fatty' nickname mocking Kim Jong Un on the Internet – Well you can call him Kim, and you can call him Kim Jong, and you can call him KJ, and you can call him KJU, and you can call him KJ Un; but you doesn’t has to call him “Big Fat Murderous Piece Of Dog Crap”!
Sweden Launches Mansplaining Hotline – Mansplaining: when a man explains something to a woman without being asked, particularly something which she might already know more about than the man.
Men demand a Ladydont hotline – Ladydont: When a woman warns a man not to do something stupid before he has a chance to do it, especially something they both know darn well is really stupid.
Women want a Mando hotline – Mando: When man does something really stupid that a lady told them not to do, just because a lady told them not to do it even though he knew it was really stupid.
Feminist Snow Plowing System Brings Stockholm to a Standstill – Apparently plowing the streets used more by women first didn’t work out too well. Boggles my mind!!
Tourist who claimed she was raped in Dubai is charged with extramarital sex – The progressive culture of Dubai is warning married women “Do not get raped” or you will face the consequences. My mind is now Boggled squared!
Alien hunter says he found a fossilized grizzly bear on Mars – That’s not an alien, hell we have grizzly bears on Earth.
Chicago suburb revokes liquor license of strip club next to convent – So it is now a nun-alcoholic strip club.
Dead deer in shopping cart at Virginia Wal-Mart shocks customers – Shoppers don’t usually see dead deer in a cart at Wal-Mart until Black Friday.
Doctors Remove Wedding Ring From Man’s Penis – This dude either has a huge wedding finger or…
Man sentenced to jail after using Cheetos to set ex’s home on fire – Massachusetts man goes to jail after breaking little known law against using Cheetos as an accelerant.
AND THE FEEL GOOD HEADLINE OF THE WEEK:
Grandma’s wrong number text goes viral after inviting stranger to Thanksgiving dinner – Young man invited in error strikes up a friendship and he is coming to dinner!
Hinton jokingly asked if he could still "get a plate" at dinner—and his new digital friend replied, “Of course you can. That's what grandmas do...feed everyone.”
Come Back Next Week For More
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!