On The Boardwalk (GAMES)

On The Boardwalk (GAMES)

Mrs. C just advised me that tomorrow we are going to the boardwalk and then dinner.  Every year we have to go to the boardwalk at least once.  I hate the boardwalk; Mrs. C loves the ice cream in a waffle.

Are boardwalks unique to NJ?  Probably not, but we have a lot of them.  Some are just what they are called, a walk made of boards along the beach.  Some are malls on the beach with shops, food, rides and games. 

Seaside (Remember “Snooky” and “Jersey Shore” on TV) is aimed a bit at the young party crowd; lots of bars, and carnival types hawking their games and their prizes.  You see many people lugging stupid stuffed animal prizes that they won.  The prizes are worth about .75 and cost them $8 in darts to pop balloons with.  Anyway, people enjoy this boardwalk; it gives me the skeeves.

We are close Pt. Pleasant, kind of “Seaside Light.” It shouldn’t be too bad; Mrs. C will kick my butt in the water pistol balloon contest, and wack-a-mole games.  It will cost $10 to win a small stuffed dolphin.  Then we will have a mediocre dinner followed by her a ice cream on a waffle at her favorite vendor.  I think I will survive, but I won’t enjoy it.

When I was a young lad, I used to love the boardwalk.  We walked the boards in Ocean City, N.J.  Ocean City was and is a dry town, no booze, and it is very family friendly.  My friends and I walked the boards at night on our own from age 12 to drivers licenses.  There were three movie theaters, an amusement park and lots of arcades. 

I loved the arcade games, pin ball skee ball, and especially a baseball game where you wacked a marble onto a ramp for a home run. 

The best part of these games was they cost only a dime, and if you were good you could win free games.  Sometimes you could play for 20 minutes or more on a single dime. 

One year the state ruined the fun.  They ruled the free games constituted gambling and they were not allowed. Thus my distrust of Government was born at age 13.  The ironic thing is that some 17 years later the state ruled that gambling and people losing their weekly paycheck on a slot machine would be quite all right about 15 miles north in Atlantic City.

The sting of the loss of free games in pin ball was somewhat relieved when I reached the ripe age of 13 by a new discovery…girls.  This post is already long enough; perhaps there will be more tomorrow.

Rules for eating at the beach

Rules for eating at the beach

A cranky re-run from July 2013

I am currently down on the fabulous New Jersey Shore for a few weeks vacation.  I know, I’m retired so vacation from what?  We'll just call it a change of venue.

Anyway.

I was perusing the internet and I could not pass up this article from “The Daily Meal” whatever that publication is.  The article was

Rules For Eating At The Beach

I will be going to the beach every day, so I should make sure I know the rules for eating at the beach.  I have been going to the shore all my life.  I have been eating at the beach all my life; I hope I haven’t broken any eating at the beach rules.  Well according to “The Daily Meal” here are the rules:

1.     Do not feed the sea gulls.

Who knew?  I am so glad I learned this rule.  Now I know that if you feed the gulls they will descend upon you by the hundreds and they will steal all your food and shit on your head.  Makes sense…ok I’ll follow this rule. 

Well actually I have never fed the sea gulls on the beach even without knowing it was a rule.  I have never fed them because I’m pretty sure that if you do they will descend upon you by the hundreds and steal all your food and shit on your head.

2.    Ice Cream

Don’t take ice cream in a cooler; it probably won’t stay cold enough for very long.

This is a rule?  This is not a rule, this is common sense. Only an idiot would pack ice cream in a cooler to take to the beach.  In all my years of going to the beach I have never heard of or seen anyone pack ice cream in a cooler.  That is probably why every beach in New Jersey has an ice cream guy hawking ice cream up and down the beach all day long.  #2 probably does not have to be a rule.

3.    Find a Good Parking Spot

Weather solo or in a group find a spot close to the water, but away from garbage.  Garbage attracts sea gulls.

Another great rule.  Imagine going to the beach and going close to the water…what a great idea, and staying away from garbage! Terrific rule.  All these are great rules and very informative. 

I am, however, surprised that there are only three rules. I think they left out some important rules.  Such as:

Just because it is a sandwich, don’t put sand on it.

Do not go swimming with a hotdog.

Don’t feed the Great White Sharks.

There, now I think all of the rules for eating at the beach are covered.  So go all you beach lovers, enjoy eating at the beach

But

DON’T FORGET THE RULES!!

STUPID HEADLINES 071016

STUPID HEADLINES 071016

It is time again for

They wavered a bit on the adultery thing

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.  

_________________________________

Two charged after video shows man jumping on swimming moose – This sounds like the first episode for “Moose Week” on the Discovery channel.

Dolly Parton clarifies Hillary Clinton 'endorsement' – Says she prefers “The Donald” because his name has 2 D’s.

Why Is Hillary Clinton Using Air Force One On The Campaign Trail? – Because the “Lolita Express” isn’t available.

Would-be carjacker foiled by stick shift – He’s an idiot in the clutch.

Tampa Bay Buccaneer wakes up locked in museum after his friend's wedding – Why is this news…who hasn’t woken up locked in a museum after a wedding?

Here's why 2016 will have an extra second – The good news is this delays Social Security going bankrupt.

Lindsay Lohan turning 30 and writing a book – But first she plans to read a book.

U.S. has highest car crash death rate – Democrats hold sit-it to force more car control regulations.

BMW promises fully driverless cars by 2021 – They’re already pretty close, most BMW’s are driven by assholes now.

Woman pleads guilty to having sex so loudly, it shook neighbor's furniture – One time we wrinkled the sheets.

Noah’s Ark Theme Park Destroyed In A Flood – I guess they didn’t get enough warning…and they were going to have a BOGO on opening day.*

Fire Destroys Great Cacapon Volunteer Fire Station – Perhaps the fire station shouldn’t have volunteered.  (Keep them coming Frog.)

*Oops! Turns out this was a goof, never happened.

___________________________

Come back next week for more

STUPID HEADLINES