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Friday, October 6, 2017

GOLF*

GOLF*
I’ve been taking some time off from the blog world lately.  Nothing to really post about.  A good portion of my time these days is taken up playing golf, so that is what I have to post about.
OK ladies, I get it, move on, you don’t want to read about golf, I read about quilting, cooking and grandchildren, but it’s ok, I understand.  In fact, I forbid you ladies to read this post…except for Fran who used to play, and Arkansas Patti who knows famous golfers, all other ladies move on.
With more play and more practice my golf game has improved greatly this year.  My scores have only improved a little bit.  How is that possible?
The interesting thing about golf is that as you improve your game, your score does not necessarily improve in a linear way.  The reason is simple, the better you play, the less you cheat.
A beginner does not count whiffs, or miss-hits where the ball moves less than 2 or 3 yards.  A beginner takes Mulligans (do overs) off every tee.  A beginner does not count missed putts less than 5 feet.  A beginner does not take strokes for lost balls or shots in the water.  A beginner illegally grounds his club and does not care, moves his ball from an obstacle, and improves his lie in the rough.  It’s not cheating, it is beginner golf.
A beginning golfer probably claims a score of 110 when it would really be about 150.  No one cares, he is a beginner.  As you improve you cheat less, but your score changes only a little.
I currently allow myself only one Mulligan per nine holes.  Putts of less than 3 feet, not 5 are never missed.  A lost ball is a stroke penalty (sometimes), a whiff or miss hit only counts if someone sees it and I don’t improve my lie…well maybe a little, so that’s a lie about lies.  See how it works?
Top golfers are ridiculous.  They take a penalty if they accidentally touch the ball even if it changes nothing.  Touch the sand with your club in a trap…2 strokes.  Accidentally touch and knock your ball off the tee…that’s a stroke, and play it where it lies.  Don’t pull the pin and touch it with your putted ball…PENALTY! Pros take a penalty for even thinking about cheating and they have to make all their putts.
Last year I averaged around 98 strokes for 18 holes.  This year I average around 95, but I cheat way less.  If I played beginners rules I would shoot about 88, if I played pro rules I would shoot about 105.
Don’t even get me started on “Should have been scores.”
Golf is not just hitting a little ball on a pasture and into a hole as some anti-golfites will claim.  It is much, much more. 
It is a very complicated game.
*No need for negative golf comments. I get it, to you it is a stupid game, for many it is a passion.  I don’t understand opera, or ballet or Rap, but if it brings anyone pleasure I am all for it.

13 comments:

  1. Yes, I think it's a stupid game. Grown men chasing a ball all over the place. Okay, it may be stupid, but I think it is a good idea. The air is so much better than a smoke-filled pool hall. The company the men keep appears to be (for the most part) good, clean-cut fellows. Besides, a little good-natured competition with your mates and yourself is a good thing. Enjoy your game, Joe!

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  2. Golf is something I like to try. Coffee is on

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  3. No matter how you score it or not; at least you are getting out there and getting some exercise.

    betty

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  4. Golf is not as easy as it may look to some who dismiss is, i've said that often. It's a complicated sport that requires being worked at.

    While i don't tend to watch golf except when it happens to be on a TV that's right in front of me at a restaurant (doesn't happen often), i certainly realize it's not a sport for sissies.

    Congratulations on improving your game so much!

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  5. Because you read about knitting and granchildren, baking and decorating I put my shoulder to the wheel and read about golf. I agree it is a scientific game....it is probably exciting to play....it is boring as heck to watch. I congratulate you on improving your game and wish you continued success.

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    1. It is only boring to watch if you don't understand the game. They say watching a sailboat race is like watching grass grow, but I find it to be very exciting, so it is boring as heck for YOU to watch, that I can understand. Thanks for plodding through, I will continue to read about knitting and baking.

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  6. Good to hear that your golf game is improving, even if it means that your cheating skills are suffering.

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  7. George Carlin summed up golf very nicely. I'm sure you know the quote.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  8. The beauty of golf is that it only takes one good hole out of 18 to make one eager to go back out there. Laughed out loud at your description of how you view a whiff. I use to have to pack a lunch when I played. We had to keep letting others play through.

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  9. I think it got its name as an acronym for "Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden". I miss playing!!

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  10. It does sound very complicated...like a lot of math to keep up with. :-)

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  11. Even though you told me to go away...I stayed and I read. And I'm lost. I'm not a golfer so I don't know what they heck you are talking about. I tried. I even read it twice. But I was ducking the whole time because all of what you said just flew right over my head. You know what's my favorite thing about golf? Listening to Robin Williams explain golf in an Irish accent. Oh My Gosh you've seen that one, right? Sooooo funny.

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