Stupid Headline 062517
It’s time again for
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid
headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
______________________
Man gets $870G after doctor removes
wrong testicle – A
lot of dudes would give their left nut for that much money.
Pennsylvania alarm clock stuck in
wall for 13 years goes off every day – Dang, those Pennsylvania clocks have good batteries.
Would-be burglar beaten by resident –
Just because the
home owner beat the crap out of him does not make him a “would-be burglar,” he
is still a burglar, just not a very good one.
We live in a cosmic Void, another
study confirms – I
know that people in New Jersey drive like they are in a cosmic void.
Colorado teachers are being armed
with guns – Just the
threat of detention used to be enough when I was a kid.
George Clooney is selling his tequila
brand for up to $1 billion – Money, looks,
fame, beautiful intelligent wife, twins, and now this! Can this SOB let go of just a little karma
for the rest of us?
Man caught urinating near LA train
station found to have cache of weapons – When caught he was mumbling “This is my rifle, this is
my gun…”
North Korea calls Trump a
'psychopath,' warns South Korea against following White House – The NoKo leader than spun on the
floor in a circle and demanded “Mo, Larry, the cheese!” Nuck, nuck, nuck.
If You’re White and Have Opinions,
You’re Now Guilty of ‘Whitesplaining’ – Then I shall keep my opinion of this
to my own white self.
Ham Sandwiches Deemed ‘Racist’ By
Group, Could Be Banned – In other news, waking up in the morning if you are white is racist.
Porn actress claims Christian school
fired her from teaching job because of her sex films – Well…yeah!
This week’s feel-good
story:
Miracle Dog Honored
for Bringing Owner Out of Coma – What can I say, I’m a sucker for a good dog
story.
Come back again next
week for more
STUPID HEADLINE
SUNDAY!!
It's getting to the point where being 'white' is a bit of a problem. Perhaps in generations to come we'll all be dying ourselves a different colour to avoid suspicion of being in a 'white head space'.
ReplyDeleteYou have to admit - the dog is cute and the man is fortunate to have him.
ReplyDeleteBeing while is so out of style. It's a shame too, I've always enjoyed being exactly who and what I am. Oh wait, I still am.
ReplyDeleteI linked this post to Silly Sunday.
Have a fabulous day, Joe. ☺
The first one (about the lost woman) is... well, I hope whomever wrote it doesn't still have a job in journalism.
ReplyDelete"Colorado teachers are being armed with guns" I can see the new NEA/Colorado slogan now: "Weed and guns....YEAH BABY!"
ReplyDeleteThat George Clooney comment made me chuckle. Lucky fella indeed. Greetings!
ReplyDeleteI don't see peace on earth until we're all the same color, probably some sort of light brown!!
ReplyDeleteMaybe that porn actress fired teacher can move to Colorado. Once she gets a Colorado teaching license, she can tote a gun, and nobody will dare fire her!
ReplyDeleteHa! I als wish George Clooney would leave sme karma for the rest of us. It doesn't help that my wife gets a funny far-away look in her eyes whenever he's on TV.
ReplyDeleteBy now i think i would have taken a hammer to that alarm clock.
ReplyDeleteI wondered about the batteries also when I heard about the 'in the wall clock'. Thirteen years????
ReplyDeleteThere's a county song in these headlines.
ReplyDeleteThose doggone Christian schools are so intolerant!
ReplyDeleteAnd you know, Kim Jong Un is probably just jealous of Curly's stylish haircut. . .
The wrong testicle??? Didn't this guy know about the trick that you should always write with a sharpie on whatever body part is not to be amputated/cut off/removed? You know, something simple like "Not this one."
ReplyDelete