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Sunday, June 25, 2017

Stupid Headline 062517

Stupid Headline 062517
It’s time again for
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments. 
Man gets $870G after doctor removes wrong testicle – A lot of dudes would give their left nut for that much money.
Pennsylvania alarm clock stuck in wall for 13 years goes off every day – Dang, those Pennsylvania clocks have good batteries.
Would-be burglar beaten by resident – Just because the home owner beat the crap out of him does not make him a “would-be burglar,” he is still a burglar, just not a very good one.
We live in a cosmic Void, another study confirms – I know that people in New Jersey drive like they are in a cosmic void.
Colorado teachers are being armed with guns – Just the threat of detention used to be enough when I was a kid.
George Clooney is selling his tequila brand for up to $1 billion – Money, looks, fame, beautiful intelligent wife, twins, and now this!  Can this SOB let go of just a little karma for the rest of us?
Man caught urinating near LA train station found to have cache of weapons – When caught he was mumbling “This is my rifle, this is my gun…”
North Korea calls Trump a 'psychopath,' warns South Korea against following White House – The NoKo leader than spun on the floor in a circle and demanded “Mo, Larry, the cheese!” Nuck, nuck, nuck.
If You’re White and Have Opinions, You’re Now Guilty of ‘Whitesplaining’ – Then I shall keep my opinion of this to my own white self.
Ham Sandwiches Deemed ‘Racist’ By Group, Could Be Banned – In other news, waking up in the morning if you are white is racist.
Porn actress claims Christian school fired her from teaching job because of her sex films – Well…yeah!
This week’s feel-good story:
Miracle Dog Honored for Bringing Owner Out of ComaWhat can I say, I’m a sucker for a good dog story.
Come back again next week for more


  1. It's getting to the point where being 'white' is a bit of a problem. Perhaps in generations to come we'll all be dying ourselves a different colour to avoid suspicion of being in a 'white head space'.

  2. You have to admit - the dog is cute and the man is fortunate to have him.

  3. Being while is so out of style. It's a shame too, I've always enjoyed being exactly who and what I am. Oh wait, I still am.

    I linked this post to Silly Sunday.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. ☺

  4. The first one (about the lost woman) is... well, I hope whomever wrote it doesn't still have a job in journalism.

  5. "Colorado teachers are being armed with guns" I can see the new NEA/Colorado slogan now: "Weed and guns....YEAH BABY!"

  6. That George Clooney comment made me chuckle. Lucky fella indeed. Greetings!

  7. I don't see peace on earth until we're all the same color, probably some sort of light brown!!

  8. Maybe that porn actress fired teacher can move to Colorado. Once she gets a Colorado teaching license, she can tote a gun, and nobody will dare fire her!

  9. Ha! I als wish George Clooney would leave sme karma for the rest of us. It doesn't help that my wife gets a funny far-away look in her eyes whenever he's on TV.

  10. By now i think i would have taken a hammer to that alarm clock.

  11. I wondered about the batteries also when I heard about the 'in the wall clock'. Thirteen years????

  12. There's a county song in these headlines.

  13. Those doggone Christian schools are so intolerant!

    And you know, Kim Jong Un is probably just jealous of Curly's stylish haircut. . .

  14. The wrong testicle??? Didn't this guy know about the trick that you should always write with a sharpie on whatever body part is not to be amputated/cut off/removed? You know, something simple like "Not this one."