NEW AND IMPROVED

This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Sunday, June 25, 2017

Stupid Headline 062517

Stupid Headline 062517
It’s time again for
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments. 
______________________
Man gets $870G after doctor removes wrong testicle – A lot of dudes would give their left nut for that much money.
Pennsylvania alarm clock stuck in wall for 13 years goes off every day – Dang, those Pennsylvania clocks have good batteries.
Would-be burglar beaten by resident – Just because the home owner beat the crap out of him does not make him a “would-be burglar,” he is still a burglar, just not a very good one.
We live in a cosmic Void, another study confirms – I know that people in New Jersey drive like they are in a cosmic void.
Colorado teachers are being armed with guns – Just the threat of detention used to be enough when I was a kid.
George Clooney is selling his tequila brand for up to $1 billion – Money, looks, fame, beautiful intelligent wife, twins, and now this!  Can this SOB let go of just a little karma for the rest of us?
Man caught urinating near LA train station found to have cache of weapons – When caught he was mumbling “This is my rifle, this is my gun…”
North Korea calls Trump a 'psychopath,' warns South Korea against following White House – The NoKo leader than spun on the floor in a circle and demanded “Mo, Larry, the cheese!” Nuck, nuck, nuck.
If You’re White and Have Opinions, You’re Now Guilty of ‘Whitesplaining’ – Then I shall keep my opinion of this to my own white self.
Ham Sandwiches Deemed ‘Racist’ By Group, Could Be Banned – In other news, waking up in the morning if you are white is racist.
Porn actress claims Christian school fired her from teaching job because of her sex films – Well…yeah!
This week’s feel-good story:
Miracle Dog Honored for Bringing Owner Out of ComaWhat can I say, I’m a sucker for a good dog story.
Come back again next week for more
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!

14 comments:

  1. It's getting to the point where being 'white' is a bit of a problem. Perhaps in generations to come we'll all be dying ourselves a different colour to avoid suspicion of being in a 'white head space'.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You have to admit - the dog is cute and the man is fortunate to have him.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Being while is so out of style. It's a shame too, I've always enjoyed being exactly who and what I am. Oh wait, I still am.

    I linked this post to Silly Sunday.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  4. The first one (about the lost woman) is... well, I hope whomever wrote it doesn't still have a job in journalism.

    ReplyDelete
  5. "Colorado teachers are being armed with guns" I can see the new NEA/Colorado slogan now: "Weed and guns....YEAH BABY!"

    ReplyDelete
  6. That George Clooney comment made me chuckle. Lucky fella indeed. Greetings!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I don't see peace on earth until we're all the same color, probably some sort of light brown!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Maybe that porn actress fired teacher can move to Colorado. Once she gets a Colorado teaching license, she can tote a gun, and nobody will dare fire her!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ha! I als wish George Clooney would leave sme karma for the rest of us. It doesn't help that my wife gets a funny far-away look in her eyes whenever he's on TV.

    ReplyDelete
  10. By now i think i would have taken a hammer to that alarm clock.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I wondered about the batteries also when I heard about the 'in the wall clock'. Thirteen years????

    ReplyDelete
  12. There's a county song in these headlines.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Those doggone Christian schools are so intolerant!

    And you know, Kim Jong Un is probably just jealous of Curly's stylish haircut. . .

    ReplyDelete
  14. The wrong testicle??? Didn't this guy know about the trick that you should always write with a sharpie on whatever body part is not to be amputated/cut off/removed? You know, something simple like "Not this one."

    ReplyDelete

I love comments, especially some of my commenters are funny as heck!

Oh, and don't be shy, Never miss a Cranky Post.

Sign up for an email of every post...over there...on your right...go on!