Stupid Headlines 061917
It’s
time again for
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY on Monday
This week’s stupid
headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
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Jerry Seinfeld explains Kesha snub:
'I'm 63, I don't know every pop star' – I’m 71, I still don’t know who she is, but I sure as hell
would have given her a hug, she’s hot!
Bear surprises runners during
Colorado race – A
new record was set that won’t be broken for a long time.
Hazmat crew called to Disneyland
after geese poop on guests – Was the goose poop brown? Sno…white.
Wyoming woman caught shoplifting
claims she's studying kleptomania – She’s figured out the stealing part, but she gets an “F” in
Getting-away-with-it.
Kansas man who robbed bank to escape
wife gets home-confinement sentence – Doesn’t this amount to ‘cruel and unusual’ punishment?
New York City eases severity of laws
against public urination, drunkenness – First of all it should only be one crime because 99.9% of
public urination is done by drunks.
Skittles Issues All-White Candy
for Pride Month and Is Immediately Blasted for Racism – Ah…it is a candy, right? Where
are the complaints about Black Jack Gum?
Arizona newborn discovered in Jonas
Brothers backpack – Nick
is pointing to Joe, Joe is pointing to Kevin, and Kevin claims it is Nick’s.
Florida Woman Steals Nearly
$100,000 From City to Help Finance Butt Lift – $100,000…how high can you lift
a butt?
China's Great Wall repaired with
simple tools – As seen
on TV…FLEXSEAL!
Man traded meth for stolen Chrysler –
Is that legal?
And the feel-good story of the week:
Former President Jimmy Carter stops
to shake every passenger's hand aboard a flight – I don’t care what you may think of
him as a President, He is a very nice man, and this is cool!
__________________________
COME BACK NEXT WEEK FOR MORE
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
I love the shoplifter one the very best. People are getting so very creative with their business. It didn't work, but it's quite brilliant.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day, Joe. ☺
I don't know a lot of the 'newer' celebrities. I would probably snub someone wanting a kiss that I didn't know.
ReplyDeleteI would shake President Carter's hand, anytime!
I loved that article about Jimmy Carter, our best ex-president ever.
ReplyDeleteHe certainly was and is a very intelligent, decent and nice man. Qualities that unfortunately often do not always work well in politics.
Delete"Kansas man who robbed bank to escape wife gets home-confinement sentence"
ReplyDeleteTalk about the punishment fitting the crime. . .
And, uh. . . studying kleptomania?. . . Yeah, that's it, studying. . .
I feel your pain Jerry. When glancing at the gossip "rags" at check out I feel I must be from another country as I know NONE of them. I love Jimmy Carter. He is truly a decent man.
ReplyDeleteMr. Carter is a wonderful person. If i were being chased by a bear in a race, i'd probably run faster than i ever thought i could, also!
ReplyDeleteIsn't that the same shoplifting excuse Winona Ryder tried back in the day - that she was researching theft for a part she was acting in?
ReplyDeleteI hate to hear that Skittles are now having racial problems. The M&M guys, at least, seem to be able to integrate pretty well, judging by their ads.
I saw the one on Jimmy Carter, you really have to respect this man.
ReplyDeleteToo bad that Florida woman's butt couldn't be repaired with simple tools. It would have cost a darn sight less than $100,000.
ReplyDelete"Man traded meth for stolen Chrysler" I don't know which was a bigger loser. And yes, Jimmy Carter is a fine human being we could all learn from. :)
ReplyDeleteWell at least you know who the Jonas Brothers are.....
ReplyDeleteGreat stuff, as always!!
ReplyDeleteI bet a lot of runners set a lot of "personal bests" that day. When I want to get a good pace, I always pretend I'm being chased by a clown with a bloody knife and there are margaritas waiting at the goal line. Clearly the bear thing would work a lot better!
ReplyDelete