This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Monday, June 19, 2017

Stupid Headlines 061917

Stupid Headlines 061917
It’s time again for
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments. 
Jerry Seinfeld explains Kesha snub: 'I'm 63, I don't know every pop star' – I’m 71, I still don’t know who she is, but I sure as hell would have given her a hug, she’s hot!
Bear surprises runners during Colorado race – A new record was set that won’t be broken for a long time.
Hazmat crew called to Disneyland after geese poop on guests – Was the goose poop brown? Sno…white.
Wyoming woman caught shoplifting claims she's studying kleptomania – She’s figured out the stealing part, but she gets an “F” in Getting-away-with-it.
Kansas man who robbed bank to escape wife gets home-confinement sentence – Doesn’t this amount to ‘cruel and unusual’ punishment?
New York City eases severity of laws against public urination, drunkenness – First of all it should only be one crime because 99.9% of public urination is done by drunks.
Skittles Issues All-White Candy for Pride Month and Is Immediately Blasted for Racism – Ah…it is a candy, right? Where are the complaints about Black Jack Gum?
Arizona newborn discovered in Jonas Brothers backpack – Nick is pointing to Joe, Joe is pointing to Kevin, and Kevin claims it is Nick’s.
Florida Woman Steals Nearly $100,000 From City to Help Finance Butt Lift – $100,000…how high can you lift a butt?
China's Great Wall repaired with simple tools – As seen on TV…FLEXSEAL!
Man traded meth for stolen Chrysler – Is that legal?
And the feel-good story of the week:
Former President Jimmy Carter stops to shake every passenger's hand aboard a flight – I don’t care what you may think of him as a President, He is a very nice man, and this is cool!


  1. I love the shoplifter one the very best. People are getting so very creative with their business. It didn't work, but it's quite brilliant.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. ☺

  2. I don't know a lot of the 'newer' celebrities. I would probably snub someone wanting a kiss that I didn't know.
    I would shake President Carter's hand, anytime!

  3. I loved that article about Jimmy Carter, our best ex-president ever.

    1. He certainly was and is a very intelligent, decent and nice man. Qualities that unfortunately often do not always work well in politics.

  4. "Kansas man who robbed bank to escape wife gets home-confinement sentence"

    Talk about the punishment fitting the crime. . .

    And, uh. . . studying kleptomania?. . . Yeah, that's it, studying. . .

  5. I feel your pain Jerry. When glancing at the gossip "rags" at check out I feel I must be from another country as I know NONE of them. I love Jimmy Carter. He is truly a decent man.

  6. Mr. Carter is a wonderful person. If i were being chased by a bear in a race, i'd probably run faster than i ever thought i could, also!

  7. Isn't that the same shoplifting excuse Winona Ryder tried back in the day - that she was researching theft for a part she was acting in?

    I hate to hear that Skittles are now having racial problems. The M&M guys, at least, seem to be able to integrate pretty well, judging by their ads.

  8. I saw the one on Jimmy Carter, you really have to respect this man.

  9. Too bad that Florida woman's butt couldn't be repaired with simple tools. It would have cost a darn sight less than $100,000.

  10. "Man traded meth for stolen Chrysler" I don't know which was a bigger loser. And yes, Jimmy Carter is a fine human being we could all learn from. :)

  11. Well at least you know who the Jonas Brothers are.....

  12. Great stuff, as always!!

  13. I bet a lot of runners set a lot of "personal bests" that day. When I want to get a good pace, I always pretend I'm being chased by a clown with a bloody knife and there are margaritas waiting at the goal line. Clearly the bear thing would work a lot better!