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Thursday, June 8, 2017

I Was Just Being Nice

I Was Just Being Nice
Mrs. Cranky is nice.  Too nice.  Sure, she calls me a JERK from time to time, but much of her life is spent trying her best to not hurt anyone’s feelings.  This does not sound like the stereotype of a life-long “Jersey Girl” but in fact it is pretty typical.  Don’t mess with a “Jersey Girl,” but most of the time they are friendly and nice…too nice.  Mrs. C does not always recognize when someone is being nice to her for reasons other than “Being Nice.”
A week ago Monday, we were in Ketchikan Alaska, the final destination of a 7- day cruise.  As we sauntered past the jewelry section of a souvenir store, a “Nice” saleslady stopped us and offered free things for just looking at her wares.
I grumbled, but Mrs. C agreed to take a free 12 cent piece of crap that said “Alaska” on it and proceeded to look at rings and things.  As soon as Mrs. C seemed interested, this lady from Ketchikan, Alaska immediately turned French.
“Dis is lovely piece no? ere, you must try eet un.”
Then looking to me, “Eet is beautiful no? Eet is only $2600, but for cruise ship assangers…une mo-ment…” She then pulls that jewelry store crap with a calculator and heavy numbers crunching…shows me the new figure of $2249.  “A very good price no?  Surely your wife is worth such a good price!”
That’s right, the old make-the-husband-look-like-a-cheapskate-in-front of-the-wife routine.  I want to scream, “Lady this cruise is costing a fortune and $2249 is a crap lot of money, I can’t afford it, and yes I am a cheap bastard…see ya!”  But instead I simply grunt, hoping Mrs. C gets the hint.  She does not.  The suddenly French saleslady from Ketchikan, Alaska keeps on pitching.
“I doo ave some lovely choc-o-late diamonds that are a little less expenseeve, perhaps ma-dam would like to see?”
I am now doing a slow burn.  We came into this store to look at hats with “Alaska” emblazoned on the brim, not $2000 jewelry.  In addition, I had already decided to surprise Mrs. C with a nice necklace she saw on the boat which was far less expensive than $2000 but not cheap.  Saying no to this more expensive stuff was going to ruin my surprise. 
“Surprise, I got you an inexpensive necklace instead of the really expensive stuff you wanted!”
I had to put the kibosh on this lady’s sales pitch and get the heck out of this store.
“Oh, chocolate diamonds…aren’t those the crap they used to just throw away because they were so plentiful no one wanted them until someone decided that if they offer them as something rare and special, idiots would and do pay top dollar for them?”
The French saleslady from Ketchikan, Alaska seemed momentarily out of words and I managed to induce Mrs. C to finally leave the store.
“What the hell, it’s not like we couldn’t buy diamonds in New Jersey!”
“I didn’t want or like any of that stuff.”
“Then why were you looking at it, trying it on, and asking the price?”
“I was just being nice.”
“I swear, I am always ‘a jerk’ but a salesperson with a smile and you always have to be nice!”
“You were just rude.”
“If you are not rude to sales people, they will not give up.  Eventually you have to either buy something, or you have to be rude.  If you are not going to buy something, you are actually doing them a favor by being rude!”
“I like to be nice.”


  1. Maybe she will teach you the nice-ties of life, Cranky.

  2. Omgosh. Totally guilty of being nice like Mrs. C and "rude" like you. :) It just depends on what I'm looking at. I think it's funny the saleswoman "suddenly" turned French. Like a foreign accent is going to get anyone to buy anything.

  3. Are you kidding me? $2249 for jewelry? You could get TWO sets of shoe inserts from The Good Feet Store for that! Oh, wait. I'm confusing you with my husband.

    I hope you at least found a place to buy a hat with "Alaska" emblazoned on the brim.

  4. I'd like to see the necklace you surprised her with!!

  5. You did well. If that had happened to me it would have been the other way round, hubby engaging the salesperson in conversation and me itching to get the hell out of there. Did you eventually buy the 'Alaska' hat?

  6. I hate those "suck them in" tactics! I might have played nice and tried on everything she recommended just to get her hopes up, then said no thanks and left.

  7. I have a rule.....only go in stores if you intend to buy...go directly to the item you not engage in conversation with the sales staff.....get in/get out. The hubs hates to go to the store with me. He says I'm rude.

  8. I have to say I agree with your approach. I think those pushy salespeople only understand no if it is said as rudely as possible.

  9. I'm with you . . . there's such a thing as being too nice to salespeople.

  10. Love the fake French accent. . .

    This reminds me of the time, years ago, that we went to Tijuana. In the 'main shopping district' where all the gringos go, the shops would have a guy out on the crowded sidewalk whose job was just to bump into people, and nudge them into their store (which either sold leather goods, silver jewelry, or liquor, mainly Kahlua and tequila), instead of the identical one on the next block. They'd actually call out (imagine the Mexican-accented English), "You come and spend your dollars HERE, not over there. . ."

  11. When pestered by a salesperson I just ask for a card and tell them I'll call them if I have a question or want to see something. They usually leave me alone.

  12. You were nice by not wasting anymore of her time so that she could spend it fruitfully on some other not quite as resistant tourist. Well done.

  13. I have super sales resistance. I did not know I just has the new "Nice". Give em a dirty look with a no and not waste their time. lol

  14. Rude or not at least you got away without getting suckered into buying something you didn't want, I hope Mrs. C wasn't going to be that nice.

  15. It has taken time, but i've learned to just say, "No, thank you" very firmly and walk away. It's all i can do.

  16. I'm nice most of the time so I try to avoid those situations. They are traps. Sometimes the only escape is to be an A-hole.

  17. I like to think I am nice and I can still walk away and not feel guilty about having to tell them, "No, thank you." My husband is nicer than me - he will allow them to go on with their sales pitch, which I believe, leads them on.

  18. $2249??? That would buy a lot of camera stuff! Just sayin'.


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