Gol Dang Corn-Shuckers
I run into these Corn-shuckers every summer and they really are the fingernails on my blackboard (GIY). No, that is not a euphemism for a different type of despicable person, I am talking about actual Corn-shuckers…shuckers of corn.
OK, I guess I have to explain, and lest I offend a Corn-shucker who is not aware of this indiscretion, if you are a Corn-shucker, you are forgiven for now, but just stop it!
When I go to the supermarket for some fresh corn on the cob, there is a large table full of ears. If you get to the table late, ¾ of the ears have been partially shucked by…that’s tight, CORN-SHUCKERS.
These are people who are so special they have to shuck each ear until they find the perfect ear of corn. No shriveled kernels, no icky corn worms and whatever else, I don’t know.
Well listen up Corn-shuckers:
The tops of most ears have shriveled kernels and most people break off the top inch anyway.
Those icky worms almost never exist anymore, probably thanks to GMO corn and they only are in the top that gets broken off.
When you put back that shucked imperfect ear, it dries out. No one wants a dried out ear.
The moment corn is shucked the natural sugars that make corn so good start to convert to starch. Early shucking makes dried out starchy crappy tasting corn!
As a result of all this corn shucking by these perfect-ear-seeking Corn-shuckers the only remaining un-shucked ears are the obviously smaller thinner less desirable ears.
I don’t want the dried-out ears that you Corn-shuckers shucked. I don’t want ears that have been touched by your grubby Corn-shucking hands. I want my corn to taste sweet, not starchy.
No one takes the shucked corn. Everyone sees it and thinks,
“If this ear was not good enough for the Corn-shucker, then it is not good enough for me.”
Those shucked ears go to waste and as a result the price of an ear of corn goes way up.
Please people, stop shucking the corn in the store. Take a chance at an imperfect ear, live dangerously. Buy an extra ear in case you get a bad one, these days very few bad ears make it to the market.
Help keep the price of corn down, be respectful of corn buyers to follow.
No one likes a Corn-shucker!