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Monday, August 14, 2017

Gol Dang Corn-Shuckers

Gol Dang Corn-Shuckers
I run into these Corn-shuckers every summer and they really are the fingernails on my blackboard (GIY).  No, that is not a euphemism for a different type of despicable person, I am talking about actual Corn-shuckers…shuckers of corn.

OK, I guess I have to explain, and lest I offend a Corn-shucker who is not aware of this indiscretion, if you are a Corn-shucker, you are forgiven for now, but just stop it!
When I go to the supermarket for some fresh corn on the cob, there is a large table full of ears.  If you get to the table late, ¾ of the ears have been partially shucked by…that’s tight, CORN-SHUCKERS.
These are people who are so special they have to shuck each ear until they find the perfect ear of corn.  No shriveled kernels, no icky corn worms and whatever else, I don’t know. 
Well listen up Corn-shuckers:
The tops of most ears have shriveled kernels and most people break off the top inch anyway.
Those icky worms almost never exist anymore, probably thanks to GMO corn and they only are in the top that gets broken off.
When you put back that shucked imperfect ear, it dries out.  No one wants a dried out ear.
The moment corn is shucked the natural sugars that make corn so good start to convert to starch.  Early shucking makes dried out starchy crappy tasting corn!
As a result of all this corn shucking by these perfect-ear-seeking Corn-shuckers the only remaining un-shucked ears are the obviously smaller thinner less desirable ears.

I don’t want the dried-out ears that you Corn-shuckers shucked.  I don’t want ears that have been touched by your grubby Corn-shucking hands.  I  want my corn to taste sweet, not starchy.  
No one takes the shucked corn.  Everyone sees it and thinks,
“If this ear was not good enough for the Corn-shucker, then it is not good enough for me.” 
Those shucked ears go to waste and as a result the price of an ear of corn goes way up.
Please people, stop shucking the corn in the store.  Take a chance at an imperfect ear, live dangerously.  Buy an extra ear in case you get a bad one, these days very few bad ears make it to the market.
Help keep the price of corn down, be respectful of corn buyers to follow.
No one likes a Corn-shucker!

22 comments:

  1. Oh gosh, I'm a corn shucker! But in all honesty, I'm usually too lazy to shuck so I buy the pre sucked corn and pay the extra money for it. I didn't realize the harmful actions my shucking caused on the corn; in the future, I'll be a bit more aware and not shuck (right).

    betty

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  2. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm a total corn shucker!!! BUT I didn't know pulling the ears down caused them to be more starchy or dry out. I guess I didn't think about it. It is true tho. I don't take the corn someone else has started shucking on either. Hahahahaha.

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  3. We don't get whole corn cobs here very often, mostly we get shucked and trimmed cobs in small packs of four. I rarely buy them these days, even though I love corn.

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  4. It's a while since I saw a whole cob. Everything seems to come in bags, these days.

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  5. What bothers me more is that stores are now encouraging corn shucking by placing a garbage can there! Now we've got people shucking all their corn before taking it home. Get out of my way and go home to do your damn shucking!

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  6. I like to get it straight off the farmer's truck. It's cheaper and I think it tastes better.

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  7. The hubs is one of those gol dang corn shuckers. I can't seem to break him of the habit. Nowadays I only buy corn when I'm on my own in the store.

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  8. I agree with you whole heartedly. And what about those bread squeezers?

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  9. This trend seems to have begun in my childhood, by the parents of baby boomers. I am not a boomer child, and seeing corn shuckers just fried my mom. And my grandmother. Both of them delivered opinions on the behavior of such people. Too bad the two of them are goe.

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  10. Joe I have to admit that I am married to a corn shucker, I just grab them and go but my wife does look for the perfect ear, I suppose I had better let her read this post.

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  11. We live in an area where there are corn farms all around us (and closer to us than a lot of the stores), so we usually just buy our corn straight off the farm, by the half-bushel, and shuck it ourselves when we get home. The stuff from the store (unless it's a farmer's market, where they brought it in fresh that day) just can't compare. . .

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    Replies
    1. Hold on, a half bushel is enough to feed the entire entourage?? ;-)

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  12. Goodness, who knew that there were so many admitted corn shuckers:)) I buy the pre-bagged, pre-shucked corn mainly cause I hate messing with the silk.

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  13. Haha! I thought this was going to be a rant against University of Nebraska Cornhuskers fans. (It's almost football season, and I'm pumped...can you tell?) Regarding your REAL corn huskers, I completely agree. If you "shuck" it, you buy it.

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  14. Are you freakin' kidding me? WHO DOES THAT?

    Well...apparently a lot of folks, or at least your readers! NOBODY does that around here. I've never seen a pre-shucked ear of corn in the bin. Not even at Walmart! I pick them up and feel them to see if they're thin or thick, but I never even thought about shucking them to peep inside. You either live amongst geniuses or ne'er-do-wells.

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  15. You won't have any problems with me; I don't like corn.

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  16. No shuckers here, at least not until i get it home from the store. Also, i don't seem to see many pre-shucked ears at our stores.

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  17. ... and the truly sad part of the tale is, if'n the shuckers would just ask someone might tell 'em how to detect completeness without giving a shuck ....

    Then again, often corn that's complete top the end is just a hair past prime taste ....

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  18. That's my pet peeve, too. I learned when young how to carefully pull a few of the leaves apart half way down the ear so you can peek to see the kernels are as they should be -- it's not about worms -- you then release the leaves and they close back up is how the farmers do it. Unless I plan to cook corn with leaves on -- grill or microwave -- I welcome having trash can at store so can shuck my ears there.

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  19. Straight out of corn-eater 101.
    R

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  20. I'm with Stephen - I don't buy corn. But I knock on cantaloupes and (gently) squeeze mangoes.

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