MSmackDOWN

MSmackDOWN

The final post in the saga of Cranky’s computer problems.

If you missed the other posts find them here...or not

http://joeh-crankyoldman.blogspot.com/2016/08/norton-bang-zoom-to-moon.html?showComment=1470185496026#c5441289368890878526

I got my new computer and after battling with the Geeks, and fighting with Norton it is now running and protected.  My last step was to download MS-office.  I don’t really need office, I only need Word, but you have to purchase the whole package.

No problem, I have a card with a code that I can use to download Office from the web at no cost, and I have a disc with Office-07 which for some reason was what my last computer used.

I went on line, plugged in the code and was told “I don’t think so!”

Now I remembered why my computer #3 had an 07 version of Office.

I bought Office in 07 for my first computer.  It was downloaded off the disc.  On my second computer I was given access to an on-line download of a newer version of word.  I think this was a “throw-in” with my purchase.  When I bought computer #3 this on-line download did not work.  Apparently the “throw-in” was only good for one time on one machine.  Now I remembered why computer #3 ran my 07 version from the disc.

My new computer does not accept a disc, they have gone the way of a floppy, and the cloud has taken over…at least as far as my new computer is concerned. 

OK, I had to bite the bullet and buy Office once more.

This should have taken about five minutes.

It took about 20 minutes.  I had to set up an account and I kept getting misdirected all over the place.  Finally, I got to the point where they had my money and all I had to do was press “Download.”

I pressed download.

Nothing.

I watched that little bar go three quarters of the way and then stop.  I watched it not move for 10 minutes.  I finally flipped out as I am wont to do and x’d the thing out.  It was at that point that I realized that even though the computer showed I was connected to the internet…I wasn’t.

Start the process over and in ten minutes I had my Word, my Norton, some of my files and a working computer.  Mrs. Cranky wasn’t talking to me, I think I may have surpassed my daily “Jerk” quota for the day…but I was back on-line.

I hate the new version of Word because it is different, but I am slowly learning to find and get what I want.

I only have to slowly recreate the files I lost which will take a lot of cutting and pasting.  Should only take about a month.

That is it, that was my miserable week.  On the plus side, the new computer runs faster than the old one, and the battery life is three times computer #3.  Also my very first computer’s battery was toast and the power cord was shot which is why I replaced it, I found the power cord from computer #3 is compatible to computer #1, so now I have a crappy but working computer to back up my files.

With all my computer problems, I had a comfortable bed, a roof over my head, air conditioning, food, TV and a patient wife all week; lots more than many people in this great world of ours, so I shouldn’t complain…but then I wouldn’t be Cranky would I?

NORTON! BANG ZOOM TO THE MOON!!

NORTON! BANG ZOOM TO THE MOON!!

 The continuing saga of my computer problems last week...see below links if interested in catching up...or not.

http://joeh-crankyoldman.blogspot.com/2016/07/laptop-flip-flop.html?showComment=1469808896342#c5756645613957740155 

http://joeh-crankyoldman.blogspot.com/2016/07/laptop-flip-flop.html?showComment=1469808896342#c5756645613957740155  

I have Norton security on my computer, always have.  There may be better systems available, but this is what I have.  Apparently I have it paid in advance for several years.

Originally I only ordered it for a year.  Every year they ask you to renew and I do.  When I bought my last computer I ordered Norton again. 

Suddenly it seemed to me that I was renewing often, I do want protection, but then when I renewed this November, I saved the email.  In June they wanted to renew again…WTF?

I called Norton.  It seems that I didn’t have to buy a new package for my last computer, I could have had my original purchase transferred.  I was renewing on two subscriptions for the same computer and had by now built up two years of paid for subscriptions.

Norton cancelled one subscription and put the credit to the remaining subscription. 

Now my newest computer needed a Norton download and I was not going to purchases a new subscription…Cranky does learn.

I called Norton who apparently resides in India and explained my situation.  I was told my subscription was cancelled.  Then I explained I used to have two subscriptions.  Norton could not find the new subscription.  Did I mention we had a bad connection?

“I an ot ind or account Mr. Joseph.” Norton called me Mr. Joseph; for some reason I liked that.  Then I figured out my good account was under another email account.

“You av uch credit Mr. Joseph!”

“Yes, I know…it’s a long story.”

“I credit or acnt back to or ard.”

“No! I have a new credit card, the one you have is cancelled.”

“I put it all owards a life ubscription?”

“There’s a lifetime subscription for less than two one year subscriptions?”

“Oh yes Mr. Joseph vey ood deal.”

“Why the hell didn’t they tell…never mind, yes, do the lifetime subscription.”

“Very good Mr. Joseph (the connection now came in good) we do that.  Now just let me have control of your computer and I download, will only take two hours.”

“Two hours? Why…never mind, do your stuff.”

So now I have my new computer and it is all protected.  I just need my MS-Office. 

That should be simple, I have a download card from my second computer so I don’t need the disc I have from 2008.

Next - MSmackDOWN

EXPERTS

EXPERTS

The Old AF Sarge's recent post inspired this re-run from August 2011

http://oldafsarge.blogspot.com/2016/07/justice.html 

I have always been leery about “EXPERTS.”  An expert is someone with subject knowledge which is above and beyond the average person’s knowledge on that subject. 

I know more about the English language than the average person in Mexico (probably).  Given a question about the English language, if I was in Mexico City I would probably be one of the best persons to ask.  Would that make me an expert?  If you had a question about the English language, and I was in Princeton New Jersey, I would be one of the last persons you would want to ask.  On the English language, in Mexico I am an expert.  In Princeton New Jersey I am an idiot.  What is an expert?

I was once on a jury hearing a case where some kids were hurt in a fight at a roller skating rink.  The injured kids were suing the rink for not protecting them by stopping a fight. The lawyer for these injured teens presented an “EXPERT” to testify to the errors made at the rink.

The lawyer established the witness’s expert credentials.  

“Mr. Slimy, do you have any training in the field of crowd control and security?”

“Yes sir, I have a certificate of expertise in crowd control and security from the J.J. Johnston School of Crowd Control and Security.”

“Mr. Slimy what did your training entail?”

“Well sir we spent three 12 hour days of intensive training, lectures and role playing before receiving our certificates.”

“Your honor, I summit Mr. Slimy is an expert in crowd control and security.”

“Agreed, continue.”

The teens were hurt in a brawl which started after the rink closed.  Apparently there was a small altercation during the skating session between two groups of teens.  When the skating ended the battle started again in the lounge area.

The rink security guard broke up the fight, and separated the two groups.  After several minutes there were words again quickly followed be a knife and a stabbing.  The injured argued that the rink security did not protect them.  My thought was it was the teen’s responsibility to get the fuck away from potential trouble, but instead they had to stay and show off their testosterone.

“Mr. Slimy, what in your expert opinion should have been done to break up this fight?”

“Well my training says you need to have a sign of authority, a badge, or a uniform.  When trouble breaks out you need to step between the aggressors, blow a whistle, raise your arms and move everyone to the side.”

“Thank you.  You are excused.  I call on John Tate, the so called rink security guard that night.”

“Mr. Tate you were the security guard that night?

“Yes sir.”

“Mr. Tate you work security as a part time job; during the day you are a sanitation man, is that correct?”

“Yes sir.”

“Mr. Tate, as a…ahem…sanitation man, do you have any credentials what-so-ever as a security guard?”

“Well sir, I was in the Army for eight years.”

“The Army….what did you do in the Army?  What training did you get in the Army to prepare you for security?”

"Well sir, I was an MP.  I went through nine months special training in crowd control and security.  The next seven years I helped to break up fights between drunken soldiers just about every weekend….and there were guns involved sir.  You blow your whistle around guns and drunken soldiers and you could just exacerbate the issue if you know what I mean.  One thing we were taught; if a soldier wanted to get himself hurt in a fight he was going to get himself hurt in a fight.  We just tried to keep them alive sir.  I never lost a soldier in eight years.  There were a few cuts, slashes, and big time contusions, but we kept them all alive! Sir.”

“No further questions. Thank you Mr. Tate”

We ruled the rink not liable for the teen’s injuries, even though Mr. Tate did not have a certificate.