I Can’t Sweep
Not a typo, apparently,
I can’t sweep.
Jersey had
it’s first snow in several years. Almost
two inches of white stuff which got the weather people excited and the Home
Owners Association in full gear. Streets
were plowed as the first flakes were falling, and paths salted and resalted.
I have a
feeling the crew hired by the HOA gets paid by the hour and they are starving
for a Winter payday.
It is nice
that all this stuff is taken care of, at least our stupid high monthly fee gets
us something besides signs all over telling us what not to do, but do they have
to shovel salt on our covered front entrance?
No snow gets
passed our entrance roof. There is no
ice where there is no snow, but the salt does get tracked into and throughout
the house.
Hence the
salt must be swept away from this area.
Yesterday,
before we were having dinner, I took it on myself to complete this chore. When done I made sure to take credit from
Mrs. C for taking charge.
“They salted
the entrance again, but I swept it away.”
I was expecting
an, “Oh, thanks, I hate it when the salt gets tracked inside.”
Instead, I
got, “Did you use the outside broom?”
“What?”
“Did you
use the broom from the garage?”
“No! I
used the broom from the closet. I would
have had to stomp in the cold 30 yards to the garage to get that broom, all to
go swish, swish, done!”
“The
inside broom is for inside only!”
“A broom
is a frickin broom, there is no harm to your damn inside broom!”
“There is
an inside broom for inside and an outside broom for the outside, don’t use the
inside broom for outside!”
“Go check
your inside broom, if you can show me any issue with me using it outside, I’ll
buy another G-Damn broom!”
“That’s
not the point.”
Taking a
different tack, “When was the last time you used the inside broom, as we
have the electric sweeper thing?”
“I don’t know.”
“Guess.”
“Maybe
two years.”
“I rest
my case.”
“You have
no case, just use the right broom in the right place.”
“I get
the scissor thing, one for outside, one for kitchen and one just for paper…well
I don’t really get it, but I can deal with it, but this broom thing is beyond
me.”
“Just don’t
use the inside broom on the outside.”
“Fine,
can we just eat now?”
“Yes.”
“Which are
the inside knives and forks?”
“You’re a
jerk!”
PB (post
blog) We are
expecting snow again in two days, HOA salted the front again. This time I’ll use the outside broom.
At least Mrs. C didn't lip-read you from across the room, plotting to sweep with another woman!
ReplyDeleteFor those who pride themselves in never watching TV, another brilliant Val Seinfeld reference !
DeleteWe have a outside broom and an inside broom. We don't want the outside, inside. Simple.
ReplyDeleteNever a dull moment at your house. Never.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day and rest of the week. ☺
I suggest moving the outside broom to the closet where the inside broom is so you don't have to tromp through salted ice and snow to get it for the next sweeping. Move it back to the garage when spring rolls around again.
ReplyDeleteAnd have an outside broom INSIDE? NEVER!!
DeleteI don't get it, either, and I can't sweep properly, according to a former friend of mine. You have my sympathy.
ReplyDeleteI have two brooms. But I find myself using the inside broom outside because I don't want to have to track down the outside broom.
ReplyDeleteWe have a kitchen broom, a garage broom, and a furnace broom. We heat with wood and that does require a special broom for the mess near the wood furnace..plus a shop vac. I have been known to sweep our back deck with our inside broom instead of tromping into the garage for that one. But I only have myself to yell at and I'm pretty easy going about myself. Speaking of sweeping...I can always tell when Jack vacuums because he has these really straight lines in the carpet. Looks so professional. I can never do it. My ADD just says get it done and over with. But I digress. Stay warm with this new snow coming. It's coming here too. No HOA for us unfortunately.
ReplyDeleteI try to comment on your blog but my reply goes off to never never land. There are a few blogs like that and I have no idea why and no patience to try and figure out why. So just wanted to let you know I always read and love your blog.
ReplyDeleteFYI I have two brooms. But I use the inside broom outside so I don't have to track down the outside broom. No snow or salt to worry about here.
Sandie
haha thanks for the good laugh dear Joe it was needed :)
ReplyDeleteyou did great job bravo but as even i can see how highly sensitive is Mrs C so please keep your promise and use outside broom next time
isn't it sweet how when we get aged our way of feeling close to each other is changed and instead other things we are more comfortable in small cute arguments like this :)
forgot to mention that we too have separate brooms and dust bins for every place such as one for kitchen ,for rooms only ,for yard ,for garden and roof .no broom is used in bathroom only two to three types of brushes
ReplyDelete