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Monday, June 27, 2011



Well, one of the dumbest things ever 

We; the ex and I, bought a giant fucking boat of an SUV five years ago.  We bought this boat off a one year lease, so it was loaded with crap I would not normally buy.  One of the features was a drop down DVD player for rear passengers to view.

I thought this feature was pretty cool.  Spencer was eight years old at the time.  Spence was a good kid, but any eight year old boy gets antsy on a long trip, this DVD would come in handy.

The first time we used the DVD it was great.  A little complicated, but my ex figured it out and got it going.  From the front seat we inserted “Shark Tails” and Spencer watched in silence.  The unit also had fancy wireless headphones, so he could watch and we could talk.  All was beautiful in SUV land.

Weeks later we took a three hour trip, the start of a three day weekend.  We loaded up the DVD with a new movie.  I forget the movie, but it was rated PG.  I think someone said damn a lot.  Spence heard worse than that at home so we were unconcerned.

The ex was driving, so I attempted to get the movie started.  Despite following all directions, I was unsuccessful.  The screen kept asking for a code.  WHAT CODE?  I was getting frustrated.  Bad thing.  My ex did not like me to get frustrated.  When I got frustrated, she got pissed off!  I don’t know why, it’s one of the reasons she is an ex.  That and I did not approve of her boyfriend, but that’s another story.

Crazy lady went crazy!  “You F***ING worthless idiot, you can’t do anything.”  I hated being called a worthless idiot; I think I had some value.

We pulled of the road, and the ex proceeded to demonstrate how F***ing stupid I was by getting the movie going.  Still it needed some code.  She got frustrated, which she was allowed to do so I kept my mouth shut.  WHAT FREAKING CODE?  IT DIDN’T NEED A CODE FOR F***ING SHARK TALES!”

We decided to hell with it.  We would suffer without the DVD and take it to the dealer the next week.  Needless to say the entire trip and the next three days were ruined because we could not get the DVD to work.  Also needless to say it was my fault the entire trip because I must have done something to have the DVD ask for some dumb code.

Three days and many “Shut the F up you worthless idiot‘s” later (again I still think I have some value) we found out the problem at the dealer.

The previous owner had activated a parental code on the player so any movie rated above “G” required a code number punched in to play. 

A PARENTAL CODE?  A PARENTAL CODE? The parentals are in the front seat.  All the controls are in the front seat; all the non parentals are in the back seat!!  I’m pretty sure Spencer was not going to slip in “Debbie Does Dallas” without our knowing. 

I have DVD’s in the house, DVD’s in Spencer’s room, cable with dirty movies after 11:00, and never activated a PARENTAL CODE!

My entire trip was ruined.  I was a F***ing worthless idiot for a week (I still dispute the worthless claim).  All because some nimrod activated a parental code for a DVD in a CAR!

If you know anything dumber, please comment.
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  1. Have to say Joe - I think activating parental controls on an incar DVD is pretty dumb - selling you the car and not passing on the code is dumber still..

    Its one of those things you just have to have though otherwise all you hear on any trip with kids in the back is "are we there yet?" and "how much further" with the odd interjection of "i need the bathroom"

    Perhaps the only real answer is either to not have the kids, or just dont take 'em anywhere!

    Lou :-)

  2. Joe - I hit the US in a little under 2 weeks so I have been onto Amazon and ordered your book to be delivered to my US address - I shall look forward to reading it in the back yard in the glorious Cali sun..

    Lou :-)

  3. Needing a code is studid. Activating the code is even dumber. On cars there is a code if you battery dies to be able to use the car stereo again. Anytime your car battery dies, every 3 years you have to remember where you left the code.
    PS- I always wondered if you liked being called a wortheless f*^#ing idiot. I didn't like it, but then again I was her first born at the age of 17.