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Monday, June 19, 2017

Stupid Headlines 061917

Stupid Headlines 061917
It’s time again for
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY on Monday
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments. 
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Jerry Seinfeld explains Kesha snub: 'I'm 63, I don't know every pop star' – I’m 71, I still don’t know who she is, but I sure as hell would have given her a hug, she’s hot!
Bear surprises runners during Colorado race – A new record was set that won’t be broken for a long time.
Hazmat crew called to Disneyland after geese poop on guests – Was the goose poop brown? Sno…white.
Wyoming woman caught shoplifting claims she's studying kleptomania – She’s figured out the stealing part, but she gets an “F” in Getting-away-with-it.
Kansas man who robbed bank to escape wife gets home-confinement sentence – Doesn’t this amount to ‘cruel and unusual’ punishment?
New York City eases severity of laws against public urination, drunkenness – First of all it should only be one crime because 99.9% of public urination is done by drunks.
Skittles Issues All-White Candy for Pride Month and Is Immediately Blasted for Racism – Ah…it is a candy, right? Where are the complaints about Black Jack Gum?
Arizona newborn discovered in Jonas Brothers backpack – Nick is pointing to Joe, Joe is pointing to Kevin, and Kevin claims it is Nick’s.
Florida Woman Steals Nearly $100,000 From City to Help Finance Butt Lift – $100,000…how high can you lift a butt?
China's Great Wall repaired with simple tools – As seen on TV…FLEXSEAL!
Man traded meth for stolen Chrysler – Is that legal?
And the feel-good story of the week:
Former President Jimmy Carter stops to shake every passenger's hand aboard a flight – I don’t care what you may think of him as a President, He is a very nice man, and this is cool!
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COME BACK NEXT WEEK FOR MORE
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

14 comments:

  1. I love the shoplifter one the very best. People are getting so very creative with their business. It didn't work, but it's quite brilliant.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. ☺

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  2. I don't know a lot of the 'newer' celebrities. I would probably snub someone wanting a kiss that I didn't know.
    I would shake President Carter's hand, anytime!

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  3. I loved that article about Jimmy Carter, our best ex-president ever.

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    Replies
    1. He certainly was and is a very intelligent, decent and nice man. Qualities that unfortunately often do not always work well in politics.

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  4. "Kansas man who robbed bank to escape wife gets home-confinement sentence"

    Talk about the punishment fitting the crime. . .

    And, uh. . . studying kleptomania?. . . Yeah, that's it, studying. . .

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  5. I feel your pain Jerry. When glancing at the gossip "rags" at check out I feel I must be from another country as I know NONE of them. I love Jimmy Carter. He is truly a decent man.

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  6. Mr. Carter is a wonderful person. If i were being chased by a bear in a race, i'd probably run faster than i ever thought i could, also!

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  7. Isn't that the same shoplifting excuse Winona Ryder tried back in the day - that she was researching theft for a part she was acting in?

    I hate to hear that Skittles are now having racial problems. The M&M guys, at least, seem to be able to integrate pretty well, judging by their ads.

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  8. I saw the one on Jimmy Carter, you really have to respect this man.

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  9. Too bad that Florida woman's butt couldn't be repaired with simple tools. It would have cost a darn sight less than $100,000.

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  10. "Man traded meth for stolen Chrysler" I don't know which was a bigger loser. And yes, Jimmy Carter is a fine human being we could all learn from. :)

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  11. Well at least you know who the Jonas Brothers are.....

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  12. I bet a lot of runners set a lot of "personal bests" that day. When I want to get a good pace, I always pretend I'm being chased by a clown with a bloody knife and there are margaritas waiting at the goal line. Clearly the bear thing would work a lot better!

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