FUZZY SOAP

FUZZY SOAP (Probably TMI)

OK, it was not quite this disgusting...but close.

 If you are easily disgusted, just move on, I’ll understand.

We have one shower in our shore house rental.  It gets used a lot by Mrs. C, myself and guests.

For the past few weeks, whenever I take a shower I notice there are two bars of soap.  One white bar of soap is covered with hair.  I guess it could be my hair, I don't think so, but I don’t know for sure.  I generally soap up with my hands and the soap bar does not make actual body contact so I do not think it is my hair.

I have assumed the hairy soap was from someone else, possibly a previous renter. 

I use the hairless bar of soap.  After many showers, the hairless bar was getting down to a nub and I realized that Mrs. C must assume the hairy soap was mine. 

“Just so you know, the hairy bar of soap in the shower is not mine.  It was either Sasquatch, or the ghost of Robin Williams that last used that soap.”

“Oh, thank God, I assumed it was you.  That soap is disgusting!”

“I know!  Do you think I could toss it out because I am not using it…ever.”

Mrs. C as I may have mentioned in previous posts does not like waste or I would have thrown that bar away long ago.

“OMG, please.  I don’t even like it staring at me when I shower.”

We now have a brand new clean hairless bar of soap in the shower.

How Sasquatch snuck in our shower and defiled that other bar of soap remains a mystery.

Stale Cereal

Stale Cereal

Mrs. C does not like to throw things away.  She does not like to waste food.  Several years ago, youngest son Spencer stopped eating cereal when he visited.  Neither Mrs. C or I have touched cereal since... forever.

Packing up for the Shore this year, Mrs. C. took a box of Fruit Loops from the cupboard.

“Don’t bring that crap, you should probably chuck it out, no one eats cereal.”

“Cole and Conor might, if not, then I will throw it away.”

Several days after we were at the Shore, my son and his children visited.  We got up in the morning to go fishing for flounder on the Norma K out of Point Pleasant, N.J.

My son poured a bowl of the cereal.

“Akkkk, gag, urp, yuck, spit, spit, spit.  Yeoow! What is this crap? How old is it?”

“Did you eat the cereal?”

“Yes, it is awful! Holy Crap, the best by date is 12/09.”

“Yeah, you probably should not eat that…Nona (Mrs. C.) thought it would be ok.”

“I think I might throw up!”

“Ooh…sorry.”

Matt recovered and we went fishing.

The fishing was not very good.  I caught some garbage fish, Matt caught nothing, but the boys, always good patient fisherboys caught some seabass, and Cole caught a nice flounder.

Conor with a seabass

Poor fishing, but a good boat ride and a fun day.

Later in the day Matt posted on Facebook some pictures of the fish his boys caught.

Mrs. C’s friend, Brenda who had been on the beach with Mrs. C heard the story about the bad cereal.

She commented on Matts post, “Nice fish, what did you use for bait…cereal?”

Matt almost got sick and missed the fishing trip because of the old cereal, but at least with Brenda’s comment we got a good laugh.

Supermarket Hide and Seek

Supermarket Hide and Seek

Thank God for cell phones.  Without them I would still be caught up in a game of supermarket hide and seek with Mrs. C. 

Oh, don’t act like you don’t know what I am taking about.  If you have ever shopped with someone at a supermarket, or especially if you have children, you have played supermarket hide and seek.

“I’m going to the courtesy desk to see if they have cigars.”

“Ok, I‘ll be in the ice cream section looking for toasted almonds.”

After purchasing some cigars I went hunting for Mrs. C.

What could go wrong?  How could you get lost?

Easy!

Each of us on one side of the supermarket, looking down the aisles, somehow you never are looking down the same aisle at the same time.  Cross an aisle to the other side of the supermarket and of course, Mrs. C has done the same.

Up and down the aisles…crossing over to the front and then back of the supermarket there is a law of probability that says you will never make eye contact.  You might see the same lady with the annoying three-year-old about seventeen times, or the old dude with the gigantic beer belly multiple times, but you will not see or cross paths with the person you are looking for.

“Siri, call Karen.”

“Calling Karen.”

B-ring, b-ring “Hello.”

“What aisle?”

“Ten by the tuna fish.”

“Don’t move.”

If it were not for cell phones we would be lost until closing time.