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Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Sunglass Mystery


Sunglass Mystery
 
For years and years, I have never needed or used sunglasses.  Since I had my cataract surgery over a year ago I have needed sunglasses.  I guess when you eye lens is no longer cloudy you become sensitive to the sun. 

I need glasses for distance, so I bought shades which clip magnetically to my glasses.  They were not cheap.  When I bring them with me and I don’t really need them, there is always the chance I will lose them because I am just not in the habit of having sunglasses.

Anyway.

Today we took my youngest son to the train station to send him back to his mom in Massachusetts.  It was sunny out so I brought my sunglasses with me.  At some point I took them off and put them in a shallow plastic pocket in the passenger door (that’s right, Mrs. C generally does the driving.)  On the way back from dropping Spencer off at the station, the sun came out again and I reached for my sunglasses.

“WTF?”

They were not where I clearly remember putting them.

“What’s the matter?”

“I put my sunglasses on the door and now they are not there.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure, I took them off when the sky got cloudy and put them on the door where I always put them.”

“Maybe they fell out at the station or at the sub shop where we stopped on the way to the station.”

“They must have fallen into the car, but I can’t feel them anywhere, can you pull over?”

We pulled over and searched the inside of the car.  Nothing.

We next stopped at the sub shop parking lot.  Nothing.

We were fifteen minutes away from the train station and I thought if we went back I would only find them run over and squished.

“Frig it, they're gone.  I’ll get new ones.  I don’t need them that badly.”

“Maybe you left them at home and just thought you brought them.”

“I took them.  I distinctly remember taking them with me!”

“Hopefully they will turn up.”

We had a few chores, and Mrs. C stopped at the rescue squad to give blood, and I forgot about the glasses.

When we got home, the sunglasses were smack dab in the middle of the kitchen table.

“You distinctly remember taking them with you?”

“YES…but maybe it wasn’t today.”

“Jerk!”

Monday, January 20, 2014

"The Bachelor…sloppy seconds"


   "The Bachelor…sloppy seconds"
Yes, I am a fan of reality TV.  Not all the shows, but many of them…too many.  I watch the Housewives of New Jersey, Pawn Stars, Hardcore Pawn, Storage Wars, The Apprentice, and especially I watch “The Bachelor.”

I also watch “The Bachelorette” but “The Bachelor” is the best.

What I like best about this show is the group of bachelorettes.  All are gorgeous, most are smart, and all are not used to being turned down from anything.  Every one of the girls is immediately “In Love” with the bachelor.  I don’t know if they are really in love or they just want to be picked because their whole lives they have always been picked.

I love seeing these gorgeous women who have always gotten what they want because they are pretty, not get a rose, not get picked.  Does this make me mean? 

Yes…too bad…maybe it is because I have never been “Pretty.”  I am tired of seeing people get stuff just for being pretty. 

“Buy me a drink…I’m pretty.”

“I might be a little late, that’s ok isn’t it…cause…I’m pretty.”

“A promotion for me?  Well why not, after all, I’m pretty.”

“Officer do you have to give me a ticket…I’m pretty you know.”

Oh I know it’s not that easy, but I don’t care.  I’m mean remember?

Anyway.

I can’t have enough of watching these girls be turned away and their reactions to not getting what they want. 

I want more. 

I propose a new show which would follow “The Bachelor.”

“THE BACHELOR…sloppy seconds.”

This show would have a second bachelor, not quite as handsome or as successful as the first bachelor, but a catch nevertheless.

As girls are eliminated from the first show, they become contestants on “THE BACHELOR…sloppy seconds.”

They get to go on dates and fight to win-over the second bachelor.  It would be fascinating to see each one immediately falling in love for the second time and have to grovel once again to become “sloppy seconds.”

There would be flirting, backstabbing, and crying.  There would be lots of crying.  In the end twenty-five girls would have been rejected by bachelor number one, and twenty-four would be humiliated by not even getting selected as “sloppy seconds.” Even though they are all PRETTY! 

I would love this show because…well because I’m mean.

BULLIES - A cranky re-run

BULLIES

This re-run is from January 2012

Apparently one of the biggest problems our young people have today is bullying.  Bullying has always existed.  “Our Gang” comedy movie shorts had many episodes where Butch and Worm (Woim) picked unmercifully on Spanky, Alfalfa and other “Little Rascals”.  In my day there was always a kid that wanted your lunch money, or just pushed you around for the heck of it.   If bullying has always been around, why is it such a big problem today?

Back in the day, bullies could be avoided.  You could hide your lunch money, take a different route to school, or hang around in groups to avoid or discourage a bully.  Sometimes you just had to stand up to a bully.  You either socked him in the eye and he left you alone, or he socked you in the eye and that was usually the end of it.

Today, courtesy of computer and cellular technologies, bullying has reached a new level.  You can’t hide from computer social networks or text messaging.  It reaches you at school and at home, and reaches everyone you interact with as well.  Bullies have not gotten worse; technology has just made them more “productive”.

The internet has allowed bullies to do their thing 24/7.  Today’s bullies can torment with anonymity.   When Butch and Woim were torturing Spanky and Alfalfa they did it in private.  Their victims did not lose face in front of more than a few people, and they had the opportunity to fight back, however unsuccessful that may have been.

Victims of bullying today have their embarrassment plastered over Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube.  The world witnesses their torture.   The world views their weakness.  The world sees their shame.  It is more than many can endure.

Bullies today are no different from ages ago.  They are still spineless weaklings who boost their own sense of worth and esteem by beating down others whose weakness is of body or differences rather than of mind and spirit.  As the pistol has turned the young punk into a feared robber, and the nuclear bomb has turned the smallest rogue nation into a terrorist threat, so has technology  changed the bully from a nuisance to a demon.

The weak immature unfinished brain of the mean-spirited bully has  gone from an annoyance to be avoided and then pitied to a serious threat to taunt and destroy the defenseless and the “different.”

The tool used to make today’s bullies so effective was invented and developed by the same nerds, geeks and “different” people that are being bullied today.

I don’t have an answer to the bullying problem, but it cannot be brushed aside as something that all generations have endured.  It is no longer just a small pothole in the road to adulthood, it has been escalated by technology into a major threat to destroy lives. 

There was a time when you could argue that bullying in some ways made our youth stronger.  The claim could be made that bullying tempered the metal of the weak and prepared them for the world.  Today’s bullying technology has applied more stress than most metal can take. We can no longer look the other way.   A “boys will be boys” mentality can no longer be tolerated. 

Attitudes must be changed.